Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis!

Bret, you've become Twitter's saddest troll. Your fans are dying inside.

I know, right? Now tell your friends!
Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis!
Kate Aurthur

Kathryn Bigelow: Strange Days, K-19 The Widowmaker, Blue Steel, The Hurt Locker. Are we talking about visionary filmmaking or just OK junk?

I don’t know how it happened, but as of today, Bret Easton Ellis has surpassed Donald Trump as Twitter’s worst troll. It’s unfortunate. While I’ve never been the biggest fan of Ellis’ fiction — as a New York City kid, every cell of my body rejected the nihilistic bullshit of Less Than Zero — I know that Ellis is an important literary figure, and it’s impressive that he continues to be relevant, unlike some of his ‘80s contemporaries. I do love his thoughts on fame, and I thought that his essay about the Charlie Sheen calamity was the best thing written about that crash and had the smartest observations about the Celebrity Industrial Complex written last year.

I used to enjoy reading about what he thinks in short form on Twitter.

Author Bret Easton Ellis in 2010, before he ruined everyone's impression of him. Image by Michael Buckner / Getty Images

I won't go into a whole history of Ellis' tweeting, but I will say that the amazing thing about his feed when he first began in earnest was how little he cared. He was there to shock with tweets such as this one from April 2011:

I like the idea of "Glee" but why is it that every time I watch an episode I feel like I've stepped into a puddle of HIV?

Wow! Awful! But it's not like any other famous people write tweets like this one, so it was certainly interesting. And when he employed that I-do-not-give-a-shit honesty to take on Nikki Finke over the summer, it was impossible not to cheer him on.

No longer the case.

Ellis yearns for a movie career, and his need is overwhelming. He waged an active campaign to write the adaptation of Fifty Shades of Grey that involved many late-night Twitter explosions about casting. It seemed manic — and it was also annoying. When he didn't get the job a few months ago, he did not react well:

Kelly Marcel?!? KELLY MARCEL?!? Kelly Marcel is WRITING the script for "Fifty Shades of Grey"?!? THIS is the movie they want to make? ARGH.

Sad, right? But while I wouldn't write that, I could almost admire it: He didn't get what he wanted, and he's lashing out. It's definitely pathetic. But maybe it's brave.

Something has happened recently, though, that has turned me — and, as far as I can tell, many, many people — off entirely. He alternates between hyping his self-financed movie The Canyons and slamming the work of successful filmmakers. My mother told me at a young age that yearning, angry envy will not get you what you want and, well...it's repellent!

Just left DGA screening of Les Miserables. Did I hear applause at the end or am I just losing my mind? Borderline ineptitude. A disaster...

Anne Hathaway's "I Dreamed A Dream" in Les Miserables is shot in one close-up and is so overwrought the dummies in the audience applauded...

The film version of "Les Miserables" is so bad that it made me rethink why I ever loved the stage version. 2 hours and 40 minutes of tacky.

Those are from this week. There were more, but I'll spare you if you didn't see them. As that outburst was happening, my Twitter timeline was full of open mockery of Ellis. I can only imagine he doesn't care (from what I can tell, he's never responded to anyone on Twitter, ever). I think he must be engaging in what he complimented Charlie Sheen for: "We are watching someone profoundly bored and contemptuous of the media engaging with the media and using the media to admit things about themselves and their desires."

OK, fine. My desires are that my Twitter experience be a clean, well-lighted place. Which doesn't mean agreeing with everyone all the time. But I don't want to fly into a rage when I have a browser open at work or look at my phone for a few minutes. I know there are people who use Twitter — and the Internet — for rageful reasons. I wish Bret Easton Ellis weren't one of them, because sometimes I'm fascinated by his opinions, even when I don't feel the same way.

But today:

Kathryn Bigelow would be considered a mildly interesting filmmaker if she was a man but since she's a very hot woman she's really overrated.

That is literally a dumb thing to say and think. It's the final straw for me. Please let me know if he reverses course, everybody.

#unfollow

Update: I think this tweet below is BEE's blustery way of saying I upset him. Thank you, Twitter follower who told me about this; I had unfollowed him and never would have seen it.

Anyone Unfollowing me should have known better and never Followed me in the first place. Wise up: pussies and snowflakes. Get the F over it.

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    9 Responses So Far

    • KGM801 thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Ew & Trashy  about 3 hours ago
    • WizardFeathers
      6 hours ago

      Has anyone seen any previews of The Canyons? Now, THAT looks truly embarrassing.

    • bruuno
      6 hours ago

      A couple of days ago he accidentally sent out a tweet telling someone to 'bring some coke' when they came over to his place.

      • Nevernude
        a half hour ago

        But surely he must have meant the delightfully-refreshing carbonated beverage!

    • Quege thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is WTF  about 7 hours ago
    • thomasl11 thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Cute  about 9 hours ago
    • bookslut
      10 hours ago

      He's trying too hard. Bitchiness should be nonchalant…

    • ringdinger
      12 hours ago

      Such an idiot. Good riddance! The world is a better place without him!

    • ringdinger thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Cute, Geeky & Ew  about 12 hours ago
    • Alexis
      13 hours ago

      like this wasn't going to make it's way into this.

    • patticake1601 thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Fail  about 13 hours ago
    • spencerd thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Old & Fail  about 13 hours ago
    • jennscotty thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Win  about 13 hours ago
    • GBach   Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! and thinks it’s Win & LOL  about 13 hours ago
    • psychnurse84 thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy, Fail & WTF  about 14 hours ago
    • AlftheSacredBurro thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy & Fail  about 15 hours ago
    • AlftheSacredBurro
      15 hours ago

      OMG OPINIONATED PERSON HAS OPINIONS GROSS

    • Muzz thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy  about 16 hours ago
    • bobbyh   Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis!  about 17 hours ago
    • CultureVulture thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is WTF  about 17 hours ago
    • Timothy A. thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy  about 18 hours ago
    • alexh21 thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy  about 18 hours ago
    • YoyodyneInc   Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis!  about 19 hours ago
    • tinac12   Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis!  about 19 hours ago
    • YoyodyneInc
      20 hours ago

      The author of this article is totally missing the point of BEE's twitter presence. Ever since Truman Capote and Gore Vidal died, there has been vacant spots for gay pop culture provocateurs. Ellis is now one of those provocateurs. He is merely doing what his literary godfathers did before him and many will do after him.

      • bruuno
        6 hours ago

        I might be willing to agree with you if he hadn't tweeted defenses of Paris Hilton and ragged on kids who committed suicide because of bullying.

      • YoyodyneInc
        a few minutes ago

        like i said, that's his game. why else would he defend paris hilton, praise mediocre films, bash great films and then rag on bullied kids? it's beautiful, delicious satire with zero winks. colin quinn does the same sort of thing on twitter, but since he's a comedian, people obviously don't take him seriously. bret is just trying to get a rise out of a generation who he sees is completely neutered. he's even talked about that theory in exhaustive detail in interviews and on twitter.

    • Alex thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy, WTF & OMG  about 20 hours ago
    • merricartd thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy & Fail  about 21 hours ago
    • zacharyjohnb
      21 hours ago

      totally following him now, thanks!

    • katien7 thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Fail  about 22 hours ago
    • J.E.W. thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is WTF, LOL & Win  about 22 hours ago
    • evilito
      22 hours ago

      I dunno. I think he has a point re: Bigelow. Outside of The Hurt Locker, can you honestly say her films were anything other than perfect-for-cable B movies? And though THL rose above B-movie level, in my view, it's a little overrated - admittedly with a good script and a very good central performance. I may eat my words after I see Zero Dark Thirty, but as of now, I don't think his comments are off the mark.

      • Kate Aurthur
        16 hours ago

        Zero Dark Thirty is excellent; I have seen it. Regardless of whether she's made great movies in the past (I'm not the biggest fan, but I like some of them), his point that she's a woman and therefore has done better is utterly stupid.

    • gtfololo thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Ew, Fail & Trashy  about 22 hours ago
    • amy swiney thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy, Fail & WTF  about 22 hours ago
    • sadieo thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Trashy  about 22 hours ago
    • louispeitzman thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is LOL  about 22 hours ago
    • Doree Shafrir thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is LOL  about 22 hours ago
    • jasonboicel thinks Please Shut Up, Bret Easton Ellis! is Win  about 23 hours ago

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