Stephen Colbert is right on the money

The latest plot twist in the soap opera that is the 2012 Republican presidential nominating contest came this week when Jon Huntsman decided to drop out of the race. With comedian and faux-candidate Stephen Colbert thrashing him by one percent in a South Carolina poll, is it any wonder? 

Huntsman was the last sane, faithful, intelligent, non-flip flopping, non-rightwing nut still standing. Given that Huntsman is gone, I now endorse Stephen Colbert for the Republican nomination for President!
 
Colbert gets the nod because he has the gumption to challenge the bogus “Citizens United” decision handed down by John Roberts’ less than Supreme Court. Creating an “independent” Super Committee controlled by his buddy and business partner Jon Stewart, Colbert mocks the fraud that is campaign finance today in America. He is a “comedic crusader” for an open and fair electoral process.  Colbert is more than a candidate that just wants to give an equal voice to every single billionaire in America; he cares about the millionaires and multi-millionaires too!

To be fair, I sort of like Mitt Romney (the other candidate still standing) because he is so much like my party’s candidate for President, Barack Obama.  Mitt went to Harvard, once supported a universal mandate for healthcare, seems to be owned by Wall Street banks, and is willing to stand by and “let the market work itself out” as millions of Americans lose their homes to foreclosure, just like my President. I continue to support President Obama because I can’t bear the thought of another Clarence Thomas or Anthony Scalia being appointed to the bench. Because I may someday qualify for Social Security, I believe in affordable, accessible healthcare for all Americans, and I don’t want to break up the families of the hard working immigrants that help build up this country. And I continue to support President Obama because I believe our taxes should pay for police to patrol Stockton, California, and Jersey City rather than Bagdad or Kabul.
 

Obviously Colbert is no more serious a candidate than he takes himself, but our political process has become so prostituted by money that he is no less legitimate than those candidates who con some rich guy into buying them 15 minutes of fame. With his candidacy and his Super PAC, Colbert is calling attention to the most pressing political question of our time: If money truly equals “free speech,” why should anyone listen to what an average voter has to say? Want to put in your two cents? Sorry, the price just went up. Super PACs spent more than $67 million during the 2010 election cycle, and are on track to spend substantially more this cycle. Think you can compete?

If corporations are people (forefathers must be spinning in their graves), then can Wal-Mart voting be far behind? I can hear Wolf Blitzer now, “CNN projects Colonel Sanders has just carried Kentucky and takes that state’s eight Electoral College votes.”  Colbert's fake conservative persona routinely takes on serious political issues in a very silly way, while some in the media continue to focus on petty political arguments that it believes should be taken seriously.
 
I trust Colbert because he has the intellect to see politics and politicians as they are, and is not afraid to humble them or stand up to bullies and bigots.  His wit is as sharp as a Ruth’s Chris steak knife, his mind is as agile as OJ running through an airport in his prime.  Yes, that Colbert, he’s a contender!  With the slogan of “making a better tomorrow, tomorrow,” how could he lose?