A PERFECT MATCH: When Michelle Obama and Jill Biden met, they felt "an instant connection," Biden says. Adds Obama, "My husband's decision to select Joe as his vice president was one of the best decisions he's made. And it gave me Jill, which was completely fortuitous." [Photo by Brigitte Lacombe]
For Michelle Obama and Jill Biden, family comes first. That's why this month they're uniting to launch a campaign to provide support on the home front for the spouses and kids of U.S. troops fighting overseas.
They playfully tease and banter. They finish each other’s sentences. And they laugh—a lot. The first thing you notice when you sit down with First Lady Michelle Obama and vice presidential spouse Jill Biden is how warm and relaxed their relationship is. They have a “great partnership,” Obama says. “We complement one another,” Biden adds. Out of this First Friendship comes the pair’s first-ever common initiative, Joining Forces. Its aim: to raise awareness about the challenges faced by military families and to encourage all Americans to help the spouses and children of our service members.
The women bring different backgrounds and experiences to their shared mission. A lawyer by training, then an executive by choice, Obama, 47, is the mother of Malia, 12, and Sasha, 9. Her closest family member to serve in the military was her father, who was in the Army before she was born. Biden, 59, the mother of three grown children and the grandmother of five, still works as a community-college professor while fulfilling her official duties as the vice president’s wife. Her oldest son, Beau, now attorney general of Delaware, served in Iraq with the Delaware Army National Guard from October 2008 to September 2009.
On a brisk spring morning, the women met with PARADE in the East Wing’s Map Room to discuss the importance of America’s military families—and how their own families help keep them grounded.
(Plus: See a typical day in the First Ladies' lives and discover two of their families' favorite recipes.)
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PARADE: Why this initiative?
MO: When I started campaigning for my husband, I wanted to meet with groups of women to make sure their stories were a part of the conversation in his campaign and potentially in his administration. Everywhere I went there were military spouses, and their stories took my breath away—the pain of multiple deployments, trying to keep the family afloat. I remember sitting and crying with a group of them.
PARADE: Had you ever thought of this before?
MO: This was not a part of my conversation, and it wasn’t a part of the broader conversation in this country.
PARADE: For people who are reading this today, what do you suggest they do? Put down the magazine and…?
MO: They can go to www.joiningforces.gov and find out the options that are available. But one of the things we’re also asking people to do is to start in their universe. If you’re a parent, what can you do to find out how many, if any, military children are in your schools? In your churches, synagogues, congregations? Are there National Guard or Reserve personnel?
PARADE: And then what?
MO: And then do what you do best. If you’re an accountant, think about offering pro bono services. If you’re a teacher, maybe offer tutoring to military kids. We want to encourage people to be creative and not feel they have to develop a whole other expertise.
JB: After I got off the 2008 presidential campaign, where I’d also met so many military families, I called the National Guard and said, “Where can I go? What can I do?” They referred me to Delaware Boots on the Ground [a nonprofit aiding local military families]. We bonded instantly, and we started a fund-raising campaign.
PARADE: So Joining Forces is about Americans doing what they’d do to help any family…
JB: Any family in need. But it’s not like they’re saying, “Oh, I need this, I need that.” We just want to support them because of all that they have given.
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JB: And valued.
MO: To make them feel visible. Studies show that many military families feel like the country doesn’t recognize or appreciate [them]. And it breaks my heart, because they’re serving as passionately and deeply and proudly as the men and women in uniform. We always acknowledge service members because they’re in uniform and we can see them. But if you’re…
JB: …National Guard…
MO: …or if you’re a kid…
PARADE: …or a spouse…
MO: …no one knows you’re out there. No one knows your struggles.
PARADE: In a recent poll, Democrats and Republicans said they favor bringing the troops home. And some say that it’s the best thing we could do for them and their loved ones.
JB: You don’t have to support the war to support the troops and their families.
MO: And when the troops do come home—-because that is everyone’s intent, to bring them home at some point—the effort still has to exist. Because the challenges for many of these families begin when [the service members] come back.
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