Victor Medina and Roxana DelGado are dedicated to helping others deal with their traumatic brain injuries, as well as victim's families and caregivers. Victor Medina is a soldier who suffered a traumatic brain injury while deployed to Iraq. He has shared his experience openly and has become a spokesperson for those suffering from TBI . Today he and his wife Roxana Delgado, write a blog to inspire others. His personal perspective on healing applies not just to wounded warriors but to anyone coping with illness or striving to overcome obstacles.
I Own My Traumatic Brain Injury
By: Victor Medina
“Why me?” That was the question in my head after I sustained a moderate Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Today, I understand the frustrations that many like me go through. Feelings like loss, powerlessness, change, sadness, among many others, are unavoidable. As brain injury survivors we have to move forward past these feelings. We have to avoid getting stuck in such emotions because it can potentially have catastrophic consequences to you, your family, and your friends.
Nobody can change the past. We have to make a better present and build a brighter future. You might ask yourself, “how can I do that if I am like this today?”. Here are a few guidelines that I applied.
1. Get educated and educate others. Education will give the necessary insights of your condition. It will also help to take away the surprise effect when new issues or symptoms arise. Knowledge is power.
2. Seek independence. No matter how hard things seem, give it a try. You will never know if you can do it unless you try. By achieving independence in many things I was able to take stress off my wife.
3. Take responsibility. I do not blame anybody for what happens to me. I have the tools to succeed. For example, I am at fault if I forget to take my medication, I have strategies to remember. Even with my head injury, I am responsible for my actions. Accepting responsibility takes away possible confrontations with others.
4. Therapy doesn’t stop at the clinic, it goes with us everywhere. The tools learned in therapy have to be practiced to make them a habit. Repetition helps remembering. The more I practice the more proficient I get. We have to take care of ourselves. Our care starts with us.
5. Focus the future on strengths rather than on impairments. I have impairments that could potentially compromise my success in the future. So instead of focusing on what I cannot do, I focus on what I can do. This does not mean to stop trying to improve weak areas. Always strive to improve all around. Just as a person with no brain injury focuses on strengths to succeed, we have to focus on those things that will help us move forward.
6. Pick a task that is a challenge but that you will be successful at. I walk early in the morning for a period of time that I can handle but is long enough to make it a challenge. I do it in the morning because it does not matter what happens during the day, I have already accomplished one goal… I have a success early in the morning.
Following principles like this have helped me heal. They have given me the insights, power, and ability to heal from the inside out. Healing from a Traumatic Brain Injury is a process that starts from the inside. Inner healing allowed me to accept the past, present and future. It has empowered me to succeed and to keep moving forward.
Tracy Dyson, a good friend and meditation/motivation expert, once explained to me “Acceptance of all emotions is the fundamental principle to inner healing. As the true essence of you is magnificent. Your greatness is beyond measure. In order to see your full potential with concise clarity, you must be willing to embrace “acceptance” as the essential core of your being. Every emotion and feeling should be accepted without any conditions. Self-healing is essential in learning to cope with stress and release bottled up emotions and feelings. This healing process is vital to the overall success in relationships at home, with family, and in the workplace. All perceived past failures, events or current conditions of not being good enough are only preconceived thoughts, which you have empowered to have substance or life. While you must validate every feeling to evolve inwardly, you also must be willing to dismantle plaguing negative thoughts that no longer serve you. Embrace talking about your feelings and emotions while dismantling them in an ocean of grace, love and compassion. When there is a complete acceptance of all emotions, your world takes on a new journey of wonderment, happiness and love. And more importantly, your relationships will be enriched on a level which you have never seen before. Through the process of inner healing you eventually discover that the compassion and love you desperately seek has always been nestled in your beloved heart. There is no charge for the love, all you have to do is embrace the moment and your conditions honestly, and the incredible healing begins. Acceptance of your current state is a glowing golden door, stepping through that door will start the healing of who you are. ”
Healing from the inside out is key to success in my opinion. Through empowering experiences, guidelines and knowledge, I can say today as I move forward to a brighter future: “I own my Traumatic Brain Injury; the Traumatic Brain Injury does not own me”.
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