Born in a third world country, my daughter Sophia is an example of how birthplace can define the outcomes of life. She could not choose her parents or nationality. Sophia was born with a double cleft lip and palate. Hers was rather extreme, with the bone from the palate and the four front teeth attached on the front of her face rather like a horn in the area where her nose should have been. Imagine her struggle to meet basic nutritional needs; she could not chew, swallow, or drink from a cup ... and combine that with being born in a country where medical services are not an entitlement. A stark difference is seen here in the US where a child would have surgery regardless of their parent's ability to pay. Competent physicians and available facilities would not be in question; they exist throughout the country with the materials needed to accomplish the mission. Most initial surgeries occur before the infant is a week old.

Circumstances of birth should not dictate the quality of life. A sense of "normal" must be instilled in a child who has been crippled emotionally by being "different" due to the mechanical "glitch" that was developed in the mother's womb. For all of us, there exists a craving for acceptance into our social world. Our differences, though, may be embraced, tolerated or scorned depending on where and with whom we live. Social stigmas and cultural superstitions around birth deformities in third world countries carry a heavy burden of misfortune. They not only cause the child to suffer but can also destroy the entire family who become ostracized from their village.

In the U.S., we acknowledge and preach acceptance of differences. How do children and adults learn to conduct themselves when faced with someone who "looks different"? Make eye contact, smile; nod your head or wave; these gestures go a long way to acknowledge simply the presence of this person.

Worlds came together when my work with the U.S. Army Medical Research and Materiel Command took me to a foreign land. I learned how a life was changed by small choices made each day which had a rippling effect. I asked, "What impact can I have on the life of this child?" I believe that who we are is defined by the smallest choices that we make each day. The choices reflect how we treat others while driving, opening doors, offering comments that lift people up, or walking away from conversations that tear people down.

When I accepted the position working with the Army, never did I dream that work would merge with the greatest gift. If you know of someone in your church or community who needs your help, pause and reflect on what small thing can you do to support them.

Babies are born with cleft lip and palate every day in every country of the world. The organizations that I support are Smile Train and Doctors Without Borders. Consider for your next gift giving occasion (birthday, wedding, graduation) donations in the recipient's name, you can give the gift that gives a chance for a more normal life, wherever the child was born.