Jerry Davich: Help is available for vets with PTSD

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David and Kim Cox, photographed in their Highland, Ind., home in December 2010, want to spread the word about his disorder. | Stephanie Dowell~Sun-Times Media

Updated: February 10, 2012 8:18AM

David Cox answered my phone call in great spirits as he detailed his intentions for firsthand input into today’s column.

The 61-year-old war veteran from Highland has served six tours of duty in the Iraq War as a critical care nurse for the Indiana Air National Guard. He helped transport roughly 500 critical patients during 156 combat missions, body after body, injury after injury, death after death.

It all caught up to him in 2007 when he lost 57 pounds in just one month while serving overseas. That’s when he stopped sending photos of himself back home to his wife, Kim. That’s when he couldn’t shake the nightmares and the sadness. That’s when Kim knew something was wrong with her husband of 30-plus years, but she couldn’t do anything from 7,500 miles away.

On his flight home, he suffered an emotional meltdown and, later, an explanation that didn’t surprise many experts: Cox had post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

He still does.

Cox called me last week because he wants to get the word out about the combat-related condition, which is too often whispered in hushed tones by macho-minded vets.

Two days later, however, when I contacted Cox for more information, he completely forgot about our previous chat and this column.

“He has absolutely no recollection of your conversation,” Kim told me apologetically. “David is very upset and angry at himself because he doesn’t remember it.”

“It is just so important for him to feel useful. But memory loss is just another reminder of the devastation of PTSD,” she added.

How sad, I thought. And how ironic. Yet how perfect of an example to best illustrate this issue, Kim told me.

The couple never know what will trigger David’s PTSD — sometimes a photo of the war, sometimes a news account, sometimes a harmless TV show showing a doctor giving a patient a shot. And sometimes the trigger comes from within — a memory, a flashback, an unexplained sense of dread.

“PTSD does not go away,” David told me with Kim’s assistance.

There are different levels of PTSD, rated from 10 percent to 100 percent. David is 100 percent.

“We have had our share of people asking when he was going to get better and shake this off,” Kim said. “He can’t shake it off. His life has been changed forever and, as a result, so has his family and friends.”

But the couple want others to know that it isn’t hopeless. There is no shame to have it. And support groups are available to vets, if they come forward.

“While you will have a new normal, life can still be good, but it will be different,” Kim said.

Roughly one-third of returning war veterans suffer from a mental health problem, with the majority being PTSD cases, according to one Department of Veterans Affairs study.

“There are a great number of returning military members who are suffering from PTSD but have yet to be diagnosed,” Kim said with David’s input.

In David’s case, he suffers from daily and constant headaches. He suffers nightmares each night, with medication of no help, and Kim has to jolt him awake for a nightmare to end.

He suffers random flashbacks with little rhyme or reason.

“At one of the grandbabies’ birthday parties, David thought he was back in Afghanistan and tried to jump through their living room window,” Kim explained.

Once, at his own home, he jumped through a garage window when a door slammed.

He also forgets things a lot, like our phone chat. He even carries a GPS because he gets lost while walking their dog, Murphy, and forgets where he lives.

“Murphy knows, though, and will bring David home,” Kim said.

David always feels the need to be near an exit, a strategy for leaving any place. They rarely dine out, and movie theaters are out of the question.

And, along with many PTSD sufferers, he is suicidal.

“There are more returning military members committing suicide than have been killed in the line of duty in both current wars,” Kim and David said.

The divorce rate among returning vets with PTSD is around 90 percent, they say, and alcohol and drug abuse is common. So is spousal and child abuse.

The couple is convinced that too many military personnel are evading a self-diagnosis because Uncle Sam places a huge emphasis on being tough and strong. Another stigma is that of mental health care. Or they are simply clueless to the reality of the situation.

“The thing they all have in common is being traumatized, but help is available,” she said.

The Adam Benjamin VA Clinic in Crown Point has an excellent group of mental health care providers, David said. The facility also offers weekly group therapy sessions for vets returning from Iraq and Afghanistan.

Even the couple’s grandchildren know that “PaPa has a brain thing” from the war.

“They treat David like he is made of gold,” Kim said. “And the VA has started a program for caregivers to give us the support we need.”

There are many things David can’t do any longer, but he can get out of bed every morning, the couple said.

“Our message is one of hope to others suffering the same thing,” David said.

Kim noted, “Plus, I know for a fact, we laugh every day.”

Listen to Jerry’s new radio show, “Casual Fridays,” at noon Fridays on WLPR 89.1-FM or www.thelake
shorefm.com.