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Pathways to Adulthood and Marriage: Teenagers’ Attitudes, Expectations, and Relationship Patterns
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Adolescence is a crucial time for physical and emotional development and may be a pivotal stage in the formation of ideas about intimacy and marriage. Some research suggests that the foundation for healthy, high quality marriage is shaped during adolescence (Karney et al. 2007). Teens’ expectations of what a romantic relationship should be are undoubtedly influenced by the romantic relationships of their parents or guardians. Many also begin to explore their own romantic or intimate unions through dating and sexual activity. These experiences, both positive and negative, may form the basis for later attitudes and behaviors.
In this chapter, we examine teens’ initial exposure to and experiences with romantic relationships and marriage. We focus first on teens’ family characteristics. We examine the family structure in which teens are being raised, which past research has consistently linked with later outcomes, such as marriage, divorce, and nonmarital births (Teachman 2002; Thornton 1991; Wu and Martinson 1993). Teens’ attitudes and expectations may be influenced not only by the structure of their families, but also by the quality of their parents’ relationship (compare Buehler et al. 2007). For this reason, we also examine teens’ perceptions of the quality of their parents’ relationship with each other.
Next, we discuss teens’ early romantic relationships. These relationships may lay the groundwork for later unions, as teens develop their identities as romantic partners and decide what they want from these and future relationships. Past work has typically focused relatively little on youths’ relationships and has instead primarily focused on their sexual activity (Karney et al. 2007). We examine both, since research has shown both are related to short- and long-term outcomes including academic achievement, mental health, and marriage (Giordano et al. 2008; Joyner and Udry 2000; Raley et al. 2007). We analyze teens’ reports of whether they have dated or had sexual intercourse and how the prevalence of these behaviors have changed over the past few decades. In all analyses, we highlight any substantial differences between groups based on race/ethnicity, gender, income, and geographic location.
For these analyses, we rely primarily on data from the NLSY97, which provides detailed information on family composition and some aspects of teens’ romantic relationships. In Chapter IV, we also will use data from the NLSY97 to track youth over time, examining how these early experiences relate to later relationships. In this chapter, we supplement the NLSY97 analyses with results from other data sources that offer complementary information on teens’ relationships. The use of sources other than the NLSY97 is noted in text and tables.
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The family is the first environment in which youth experience adult
relationships. Family composition and adult behaviors — such as
the presence of one or both parents and the quality and stability of their
relationships — have long-lasting consequences for youth. Past
research has consistently shown, for example, that children whose parents
divorce are more likely to divorce themselves (Amato 1996; Teachman 2002).
Similarly, women born to unmarried mothers are more likely to have a nonmarital
birth (Maynard 1996). Many factors related to family composition, such as
income, parenting practices, and stress, could increase the likelihood that
teens will have some of the same outcomes as their parents. In addition,
the family structure in which children are raised is most familiar, and thus
may seem a natural or normal choice when they later form their own families.
In this section, we describe the family composition of teens, highlighting
relevant differences by gender, race, ethnicity, and income group.
Teenagers live in a mix of family structures. Among the 15- to 18-year-olds in our sample, 63 percent lived with two married parents — 50 percent with married biological parents and 13 percent with remarried parents (Table II.1). About one in four lived with a single parent. According to the teens, most of these single-parent families were headed by divorced, separated, or widowed parents who had not remarried. Less than 10 percent of teens lived with neither biological parent.
| All Teens | White | African American |
Hispanic | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Two parents | ||||
| Married biological parents | 50 | 55* | 24* | 50 |
| Remarried | 13 | 14* | 12 | 10* |
| Cohabiting (biological or step) | 3 | 2* | 4* | 4* |
| Single parent | ||||
| Ever married | 23 | 21* | 28* | 23 |
| Never married | 3 | 1* | 15* | 3 |
| No biological parent | 8 | 7* | 16* | 9 |
| Source: NLSY97, 1999 wave. Results are weighted
to be representative of the 1999 United States population ages 15 to 18. * Difference between the mean of the specified race/ethnicity and other races/ethnicities significant at the .05 level. |
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African American teens are much less likely to live with two married biological parents than teens from other racial and ethnic groups. For example, among the teens in our sample, 24 percent of African American teens lived with married biological parents, compared with 55 percent of white teens and 50 percent of Hispanic teens. For African American youth, the most common family arrangement was living with a single parent, with 43 percent reporting this family structure.
The likelihood of living with married biological parents is linked not only with race and ethnicity, but also with income. Among teens who reported family incomes more than two times the federal poverty level, 63 percent lived with their married biological parents (Figure II.1).(1) In contrast, the same was true for only 31 percent of lower-income teens. Racial differences remained pronounced even within income groups. For example, 33 percent of low-income white youth lived with married biological parents, compared to 15 percent of African American teens.
Figure II.1
Percentage of Teens Ages 15-18 Living with Married Biological Parents,
by Low-Income Status and Race/Ethnicity
Source: NSLY 97, 1999 wage.
Note: Differences by income status are statistically significant at
the .05 level for all groups presented.
The distribution of family structures for teens also varies by geographic location, with those living in the Midwest and in non-urban areas the most likely to live with two married biological parents. Among Midwestern teens, 55 percent lived with their married biological parents, compared with 52 percent of those in the Northeast, 50 percent of those in the West, and 45 percent of those in the South (not shown). Similarly, 55 percent of teens living in rural areas lived with two married biological parents, compared with 48 percent of teens living in more urban areas. These geographic differences are related to racial and ethnic differences in family structure. However, the higher proportion living with married biological parents in the Midwest and in rural areas persists even when we adjust for the racial and ethnic distribution of teens across geographic areas.
Girls are less likely than boys to live with married biological parents. The differences were relatively small (48 percent of girls compared to 52 percent of boys), but statistically significant. Other work corroborates this somewhat unexpected finding. In particular, one recent study found that parents with girls are more likely to be divorced and women with daughters only are more likely to have never married (Dahl and Moretti 2004). The authors asserted that this result reflected a preference for sons among fathers, who reported by more than a two-to-one margin that they would rather have a boy than a girl (Dahl and Moretti 2004). It may also suggest that mothers of boys may be more willing to marry and stay married to the fathers of their children than mothers of girls are, since they may consider the presence of a male role model particularly important for boys.
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The quality of their parents’ relationship has important implications for youth. Past work has shown that parents’ marital hostility is associated with behavioral and emotional problems in their children (Buehler et al. 2007; Sturge-Apple et al. 2006). Some work suggests that it is worse for children for their parents to remain in a conflict-ridden marriage than for their parents to divorce (Amato et al. 1995; Morrison and Coiro 1999).
The parents’ relationship may also affect teens’ views on marriage
and relationships and the quality of their later relationships. For example,
a recent study found that adolescent girls with more negative perceptions
of the level of conflict in their parents’ relationship had greater
expectations of unhappiness and divorce in their own future marriages (Steinberg
et al. 2006). Similarly, parental conflict after a divorce has been linked
with less positive attitudes about marriage among adolescents (Peltz and
Koerner 2006). In this section, we examine teens’ perceptions of their
parents’ relationship.
The 1999 wave of the NLSY97 asked its young respondents to rate their parents’ marital relationships with their partners, either the teen’s other biological parent or a step-parent.(2) These questions cover several aspects of relationship quality, such as how often the teen’s parents or stepparents scream at each other when angry, compromise, and are affectionate with each other. Responses are recorded on a five-point scale, indicating whether these events occur: never, rarely, sometimes, usually, or always. In our analysis, these questions were combined into a single measure of marital quality.(3) We use this composite score to divide relationships into those of low, medium, and high quality. We categorize a relationship as “low quality” if teens’ average responses to these questions are consistent with having reported that positive behaviors occur “never” or “rarely.” We categorize a relationship as “medium quality” if teens’ average responses correspond to reporting that positive behaviors occur “sometimes” and categorize relationships as “high quality” if the teens’ average responses correspond to positive behaviors occurring “usually” or “always.”
Teens’ perceptions of the parental relationship may not be the same as what the parents would say about their own relationship. The teens’ perspective, however, is important because it indicates how they are experiencing that relationship. If teens think their parents are always fighting, for example, they are likely to feel stress and turmoil, regardless of whether the parents believe their fighting is frequent. For our analysis, we were particularly interested in the teens’ perceptions of their parents’ relationship, since these perceptions may shape their attitudes about marriage and influence future choices about forming romantic relationships.
Most teens view their parents’ marriage positively. When asked about a range of behaviors, such as compromise, showing affection, and criticism, almost 60 percent of the teens in our sample rated their parents as usually or always showing these positive behaviors and never or rarely showing negative ones (Figure II.2). Another third indicated their parents sometimes showed these behaviors. Only 7 percent gave responses that suggested that they considered their parents to have a low quality or troubled marriage. These patterns were highly consistent across racial, ethnic, and income groups.
Girls, however, tend to view their parents’ relationship more negatively than boys. Girls were more likely to view their parents’ marriage as low quality (9 percent, compared to 5 percent) and less likely to perceive the relationship as high quality (56 versus 62 percent).(4) These differences may relate to the patterns discussed in the work of Dahl and Moretti (2004), who find that couples who have boys are more likely to get and stay married. Parents of girls may have poorer marital quality or be less committed to their relationship. Alternatively, girls may judge their parents’ relationships more harshly than do boys.
Figure II.2
Teens’ Assessment of Their Parents’ Marital Quality
Teenagers living with a remarried parent report that their parents have lower marital quality than those living with married biological parents. Among our sample members, teens living with a remarried parent were less likely to rate the marriage as high quality, a difference that was statistically significant. They were not, however, more likely to report that their parents had a low quality marriage. In other words, teens living with a remarried parent did not appear to be more likely to view the marriage as very conflicted or unhealthy. Instead, relative to teens living with both biological parents, teens with remarried parents may be more likely to see their parents as having moderately healthy rather than very healthy relationships.
Why might teenagers with remarried parents report lower marital quality for
their parents? As described earlier, the measure of relationship quality
analyzed here is based on the teens’ report. We might expect teens to
judge a step-parent’s behavior more harshly than that of a biological
parent, and report more negative behaviors or fewer positive ones. It is
well established, however, that a remarriage is more likely to end in divorce
than a first marriage (Bramlett and Mosher 2002), so the teens’ reports
also may be capturing real differences in the way the adults interact with
each other.
About half the teens in our sample reported that their parents were no longer together. Teens with estranged parents hold a mix of views of their parents’ relationship. About 3 in 10 characterized this relationship as friendly, while a similar proportion indicated that their estranged parents had no contact with each other at all (Figure II.3). More than a third described the relationship as being of “mixed” quality, with either neutral or both friendly and unfriendly aspects. Only a small proportion of teens (5 percent) characterized their estranged parents’ relationship as unfriendly or hostile (Figure II.3).
Teens with divorced parents and teens with never-married parents who were no longer together viewed their parents’ relationship differently. Divorced parents were more likely to be in contact than never-married parents were — with 74 percent of divorced parents having had some contact with each other in the past year, compared with 62 percent of parents who had never been married.(6) However, teens with divorced parents viewed the quality of their parents’ relationship more negatively than those with never-married parents did. Among teens with divorced parents, 42 percent characterized the quality of their parents’ relationship as “mixed” or “unfriendly,” while 24 percent of teens with never-married parents described their parents’ relationship in this way (Figure II.3).
Figure II.3
Teens’ Assessment of Their Estranged Parents’ Relationship
Quality
Why would teens view the relationship of their estranged parents more negatively if their parents had been married to each other in the past? Experiencing a divorce may sour the parents’ relationship, even years later. Divorce has more legal repercussions and may be a longer and more drawn-out process than breaking a less formal bond, which could increase the animosity between partners. In addition, given the transience of many nonmarital relationships, never-married parents are more likely to have separated from each other early in the teen’s life. Therefore, the breakup may be a more distant memory for these teens than for those with divorced parents and thus less of an influence on their current perceptions of their parents’ relationship.
In addition, divorced parents may be more likely than never-married parents to remain in contact when their relationship is less friendly. The contact between divorced parents may depend less on how they currently feel toward each other and have more to do with other factors, such as child custody arrangements and other legal ties associated with marriage and divorce, as well as a greater earlier commitment between the parents. Whatever the explanation, teens with divorced parents are more likely than those with never-married ones to have parents who remain in contact with each other, although in many cases on less than friendly terms.
Teens’ perceptions of the quality of their estranged parents’ relationship are also tied to gender, race/ethnicity, and income. In particular, among teens with estranged parents, African-American, Hispanic, and low-income teens were more likely to report that their parents were no longer in contact. In addition, boys and African American teens were more likely to describe their estranged parents’ relationship in positive terms. The finding that teenage boys with estranged parents describe their parent’ relationship more positively than teenage girls do is similar to the results reported earlier, in which boys rated their parents’ marital relationship more highly than girls did.
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Teens’ initial experiences with romantic relationships are an important
potential influence on their later relationships in adulthood. During
adolescence, many will develop a newfound interest in romantic and sexual
relationships. More than 80 percent of first romantic relationships are formed
by the age of 18 (Carver et al. 2003). These early experiences may set the
stage for later relationships. Early relationships may build confidence about
interacting with the opposite sex and reinforce interest in coupling. Recent
work, for example, suggests that youth who form romantic relationships in
high school are more likely to cohabit and marry in early adulthood (Raley
et al. 2007). In this section, we examine teens’ reports of dating and
sexual activity.
Most teens date at some point during adolescence. Among teens in our sample, roughly three-quarters of 15 year olds reported they had dated (Figure II.4). Among 18 year olds, almost all (95 percent) reported having dated. Girls were less likely than boys to report having dated at younger ages, but reported similar levels of dating at ages 17 and 18. For example, 71 percent of 15-year-old girls reported having dated, compared to 78 percent of 15-year-old boys. By age 18, 94 percent of girls and 95 percent of boys reported having dated. The proportion of sexually active teens is much smaller than the proportion of teens who have dated. Among 15 year olds in our sample, for example, 74 percent reported having dated, but only 22 percent reported having had sexual intercourse (Figure II.4). Most older teens reported having had sexual intercourse, although the proportion still lagged behind those who had dated. Among 18 year olds, 94 percent had dated and 65 percent had had sex. Unlike dating, girls and boys reported similar levels of having had sex at every age examined.
Figure II.4
Teen Dating and Sexual Activity, by Age
Of course, teen sexual activity does not always occur within a dating
relationship. NSFG data provide some evidence for how often sexual activity
coincides with dating for teens. Male and female NSFG respondents were asked
somewhat different questions about this issue. Among 15-to-18-year-old sexually
active girls who responded to that survey, 78 percent indicated that they
were going out or going steady with their first sexual partner. Among
sexually active male respondents of that same age, 64 percent indicated that
they were going out with or going steady with their most recent sexual
partner. These figures suggest that, although teen sexual activity outside
of dating relationships is relatively common, in most cases, teen sexual
activity occurs within a dating relationship.
Most teens-regardless of race or ethnicity-report dating. Among the teens in our sample, more than 80 percent of whites, African Americans, and Hispanics reported having ever dated (Figure II.5). White teens, however, were more likely than teens of other races and ethnicities to report having dated, whereas African American teens were less likely. Differences between income groups were small and not statistically significant.
Sexual activity follows a different pattern. Among teens in our sample, 41 percent of whites and 45 percent of Hispanics reported having had sex, compared to 59 percent of African American teens. These racial and ethnic differences are consistent with data from other national surveys (compare Mosher et al. 2005; CDC 2006).
Figure II.5
Teen Dating and Sexual Activity, by Race/Ethnicity
Rates of sexual activity among teens also vary by their socio-economic status. Among our sample members, 51 percent of those living in low-income households (below 200 percent of the poverty level) reported having had sex, compared with 39 percent of teens who lived in higher-income households. Similarly, among teens whose mothers had a high school education or less, 49 percent reported having had sex, compared with 38 percent of those with more-educated mothers.
Teenage sexual activity rates also vary by geographic region. Teens in the
South are the most likely to report being sexually active, with 48 percent
indicating on follow-up surveys that they have had sex. In contrast, 44 percent
of Northeastern teens, 42 percent of Midwestern teens, and 39 percent of
Western teens reported having had sex.
Has the likelihood that teens date or have sex changed in recent years? Data from two studies, Monitoring the Future (MTF) and the Youth Risk Behavior Survey (YRBS), enable us to examine this question for teens who are enrolled in high school. MTF is an annual survey of approximately 50,000 adolescents in 8th, 10th, and 12th grades. Each year, the survey includes the question, “On average, how often do you go out with a date?” The YRBS is administered every other year and includes 10,000 to 16,000 adolescents in each survey round. The sample is nationally representative of teens in 9th to 12th grades. In each survey round, the YRBS asks respondents whether they have ever had sexual intercourse. To improve comparability of the results across the two data sets, we focus primarily on 12th graders. It is important to note that the patterns presented below refer only to teens enrolled in high school. Trends in dating and sexual activity for all teenagers, including high school dropouts, may be somewhat different.
The likelihood that high school students date regularly has declined in recent years. Over the past 15 years, there has been a steady decrease in the proportion of 12th graders who report dating (Figure II.6). The percentage of high school seniors who said they date has dropped from 86 percent in 1990 to 73 percent in 2006.(7) This trend, however, could reflect changes in terminology. Teens often develop their own jargon, which changes with different cohorts. Dating may not mean the same thing to teens in 2006 that it did in 1990. Some suggest that the term “dating” has been replaced by “hanging out” or “going with someone” in the vernacular (Miller and Benson 1999). Consequently, the decline presented in Figure II.6 may represent, at least in part, a change in terminology rather than a change in behavior.
Figure II.6
Dating and Sexual Activity Trends Among High School Students, 1990-2006
The likelihood of sexual activity among high school students also fell in recent years — although less dramatically than the likelihood of dating. In 1991, 67 percent of 12th graders reported they had ever had sex, compared to 63 percent in 2005 (Figure II.6). This decline is not statistically significant. A clearer trend emerges, however, for all teens in high school. In 1991, approximately 54 percent of high school teens reported having had sex, compared to 47 percent in 2005, a decline that is statistically significant. This larger decline in sexual activity for all high school students relative to 12th graders alone suggests teens may be delaying sexual activity until later in high school. Other research suggests this may be the case. For example, one recent study found that the decline of sexual activity for teens in the 1990s was largely driven by a delay in sexual initiation, particularly for girls (Abma et al. 2004).
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In this chapter, we examined teenagers’ exposure to and initial experiences with romantic relationships and marriage. We find that teens live in a mix of family structures, but most live with married parents — 50 percent with both biological parents and 13 percent with a parent who has remarried. The likelihood of living with two married biological parents varies substantially across various subgroups of teens, with African-American and low-income teens particularly unlikely to live with married biological parents. We also find that most teens view their parents’ marriages positively, particularly those living with both their biological parents. Teens with estranged parents hold less positive views of the quality of their parents’ relationship. Most teens report that their estranged parents have mixed or unfriendly relations or have no contact with each other.
We find that most teens date at some point. Among our NLSY97 sample members, 74 percent of 15 year olds and 94 percent of 18 year olds report having dated. Sexual activity is less common than dating, but is relatively common among older teens. Among 15 year olds, 22 percent report having had sexual intercourse, compared with 65 percent of 18 year olds. We also find that high school students are dating less than they did 15 to 20 years ago and that recent trends suggest that they are delaying sexual activity until later in high school.
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1. For teens missing information for their household in 1999, we used data from earlier waves. A small number of teens (approximately 200 out of a sample of 6,646) did not have information on household income in waves 1997 through 1999. For these teens, we imputed income status based on race and family structure.
2. These questions are only available for teens who were 15 or 16 years old at the time of the 1999 survey wave. Therefore, these analyses are restricted to 15 and 16 year olds. To keep the analysis focused on marital relationships, we exclude the small number of teens (3 percent of our sample) living with cohabiting parents.
3. The NLSY97 included six questions about the mother’s behavior toward the father and six questions about the father’s behavior toward the mother. The wording of the questions was the same, with the exception of the pronouns (for example, she, he). To create a single measure of parents’ behavior towards one another, the responses to these questions were summed and divided by 12. Questions on negative behaviors were reverse-coded before being summed (see NLSY97 Appendix 9 documentation for additional details).
4. These differences between boys and girls were statistically significant.
5. This information is only available for sample members who were 15 or 16 years old at the time of the survey. If the teens’ biological parents had spoken with each other at least once in the past year, the teens were asked to rate the behaviors of their biological parents on a seven-point scale (from 0=‘as hostile as you can imagine’ to 7=‘very friendly’). The question was asked separately for their mother’s behavior towards their father and their father’s behavior towards their mother. For this measure, we analyzed the teens’ average response to the two questions (behavior of mother towards father and father towards mother). Teens who said the behavior was hostile to unfriendly were categorized as ‘unfriendly;’ ‘mixed’ includes teens who reported mixed or neutral responses; and ‘friendly’ refers to teens who said their parents were friendly or very friendly to one another.
6. The “divorced parent” group represents all formerly married parents with whom sample members reside. We are unable to determine whether divorced parents were ever married to the teen’s other biological parent. Therefore, there may be a small proportion in the formerly married category who were not married to the teen’s other parent, but instead married and divorced another person.
7. In MTF. teens were asked, “On average, how often do you go out with a date?” The response categories were: never, once a month or less, two to three times a month, once a week, two to three times a week, or more than three times a week. In the figures presented here, respondents were coded as dating if they gave any response to this question other than “never.” These rates of dating are somewhat lower than those presented in earlier sections, which are based on the NLSY97. There are two likely reasons. First, in the NLSY97, teens were asked directly whether they had ever dated, a somewhat different question from what is asked on the MTF survey. Second, the NLSY97 results on dating included all teens, whereas the time trends presented here are restricted to those enrolled in 12th grade. It is likely that teens who have dropped out of school are more likely to date and have sexual intercourse than those who remain in school.
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