Official Site of the U.S. Air Force   Right Corner Banner
Join the Air Force

News > Program helps Airmen cope with divorce
Program helps Airmen cope with divorce

Posted 1/6/2011 Email story   Print story

    


by Senior Airman Marissa Tucker
4th Fighter Wing Public Affairs


1/6/2011 - SEYMOUR JOHNSON AIR FORCE BASE, N.C. (AFNS) -- Anyone who has been in the Air Force for more than a year has heard the horror stories about failed marriages and how hard it is to stay in a relationship with constant deployments and work stress.

While falling in love and getting married can be the greatest experience of one's life, a divorce can be the polar opposite, leaving them feeling broken and alone, said Tech Sgt. Kimberly Browne, the 916th Force Support Squadron chief of readiness.

"Divorce can tear you apart," Sergeant Browne said. "Without the right tools or a support system, the effects can continue to carry on for years."

A reservist who has resided and worked near Seymour Johnson AFB for more than 20 years, Sergeant Browne knows firsthand the damage that can be caused by divorce. Through her experience and a program called DivorceCare, she worked through her struggles and now devotes her time to helping others overcome them as well.

DivorceCare, a faith based, 13-step progressive program designed by 26 therapists, doctors, psychiatrists and licensed professionals is a nationally-known program that has helped thousands of people work through their divorce or separation. Sergeant Browne recently began to facilitate the sessions here in hopes of seeking out those who are in need of help and do not know where to go.

The sessions begin with a video pertaining to the topic of that particular week. The themes include:
The Road to Healing/Finding Help
Facing My Anger
Facing My Depression
Facing my Loneliness
What does the owners manual say?
New Relationships
Financial Survival
KidCare
Single Sexuality
Forgiveness
Reconciliation
Moving on, Growing Closer to God

"Everything we cover are key things anyone going through a divorce or separation can really use," she said. "A divorce can leave one feeling pretty lost, and the sessions are here to combat that. No one going through a divorce has to be alone in the process."

The stigma about groups such as DivorceCare is that it consists of a group of people sitting around feeling sorry about themselves and crying, but DivorceCare is not about dwelling, it is about healing, she said. 

Participants are required to sign a confidentiality agreement promising they will not discuss what happens in the sessions outside of the sessions, which lends to the ability of them to have open and honest discussions.

"This is not a bashing session where we sit around and gripe about our problems, we work through them. Sometimes we laugh, sometimes we cry. It's all about supporting each other," she said.

After joining a church, Sergeant Browne began to facilitate a DivorceCare group for church members, where she had a lot of participation and saw many breakthroughs for people who were stuck in bad places after separations and divorces. She hopes to have the same successes in the program here.

"Because I am in the military, I can relate to the lifestyle of Airmen here and I know how they are feeling," she said. "I know there are many people here who could benefit from this program, and I hope that we can spread the word about this opportunity. People spend thousands of dollars on therapy, this is free and effective."

Anyone with access to the base is invited to attend including military members and civilians. People who are separated are invited and encouraged to attend also.

"I've seen people who were able to reconcile their differences and not end their marriage," she said. "It really is possible, and that is what we hope to encourage."

Many people have benefited from the lessons of the DivorceCare sessions here. A civilian who works here said the sessions gave him a new outlook on life.

"What helped me most about DivorceCare was that it provided a relevant, timely, Biblically-based source of information on how to deal with all those feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, betrayal and just the uncertainty of how to handle the current situation I was in," he said. "DivorceCare also offers a great venue for developing long-lasting friendships and also provides a great support system for other people who were hurt or are hurting and who can then relate to how you are feeling."

Sergeant Browne hopes to expand the reach of the sessions by including children into the courses.

"Children are so innocent in the divorce and it takes as heavy as a toll on them as it does the adults," she said. "If we get enough participation, we can start the KidCare program, which has activities for children ages 5 to 12 to voice their feelings and emotions in a controlled environment."



tabComments
1/10/2011 2:42:06 PM ET
@MM: Research the internet or other sources for something that fits your preferences better. As someone who has worked programs that are faith based, I can attest that we do not cram faith down anyone's throat. We are available if people want to discuss our views but our purpose is to help people overcome the hurt in their lives. There is strength in numbers, and to know other people having the same issues as you can help you heal, since there is a support system there you can lean on. Divorce and other life-changing events are traumatic and shouldn't be faced alone. TSgt Browne was offering a way she found that helped. This article has served its purpose of helping people find ways to heal, faith based or not.
JB, NY
 
1/10/2011 11:35:28 AM ET
Slow down, young crime fighters. I didn't realize asking if there was a non-faith version was complaining. Forunately one person provided me with information that is useful and one person saw that I wasn't complaining. Thanks. I am actually happily married but have been divorced and it would have been great to have some help during that time, and was looking for info that maybe I can use to help others. @Kim: What you are doing is great, and if any of the few folks I know at Shady J ever are in the divorce boat I'll float them your way.
MM, FL
 
1/10/2011 11:10:22 AM ET
To Arctic Warrior: If my scars were permanent I wouldn't be able to help others. Although it's a devastating experience, it really DOES get easier - trust me. Take care. Thanks everyone for the support words. I've seen way too many suicides lately because of relationship breakups etc. It's NOT the end of world and we can overcome.
KB, NC
 
1/8/2011 7:26:38 AM ET
We don't preach, we teach. I thank God for the opportunity to serve.
Kim, NC
 
1/7/2011 4:09:36 PM ET
Regardless, the scars WILL last forever.
Arctic Warrior, CO
 
1/7/2011 4:04:19 PM ET
Agree with SW. Don't knock her program just because the foundation isn't your preference. Try being proactive instead of a complainer. Great job TSgt Browne.
KW, CA
 
1/7/2011 1:47:26 PM ET
agree with what SW said.
Shane McDiddier, OK
 
1/7/2011 1:16:19 PM ET
Absolutely agree with SW. Great initiative by TSgt Browne. I too dealt with a divorce that devastated me for months and I had a very difficult time dealing with it. There was not a program like this in my area, or that I was aware of. I have since moved on in my life but this would definitely have helped me out and I'm sure it will help many other Airmen in the future.
BC, UAE
 
1/7/2011 12:29:29 PM ET
SW: OK, why are you getting (so upset)? Its not like MM was slamming the program. He was simply asking if there was a non-faith based program available and actually praised the one they have in place. He didnt say the faith-based program was unfair or anything like that. He was asking a question. I think you are the one who needs to attend a program to learn how to cope and not with divorce.
TSI, SP
 
1/7/2011 11:30:06 AM ET
Although this is a faith-based program, it does not cram religious beliefs or the Bible down participants throats. The focus is real issues these individuals are facing and helping them to realize they are not alone. It helps them learn how to start the healing process and move forward in a positive way.
N, NC
 
1/7/2011 11:17:31 AM ET
agree with what MM said.
NL, OK
 
1/7/2011 8:19:24 AM ET
MM...go ahead and set it up. Nobody is stopping you and I'm sure you would get local support. There is no sense posting comments and complaining about it. That's what this article is about. TSgt Browne saw an opportunity to share her experiences and help others out and took an initiative. Unfortunately, she can't reach everyone by herself and just set up the program she knew worked for her. This is a perfect example of those who just complain about a situation and those who take action to fix the problem.
SW, OK
 
1/7/2011 7:12:17 AM ET
I am attending a program now. REBUILDING When Your Relationship Ends, by Dr Bruce Fisher. You can look up excerpts of his program online and likely gather information on how to start a seminar in your area if none are available. Past participants have only positive and very good things to say about this program.. Good luck
kg, nc
 
1/6/2011 4:53:19 PM ET
So, do they have a non-faith based version? The sessions sound worthwhile but not all of us like being preached at or base our lives off a book. I'm sure the current version does great for the ones who attend and it sounds like a very worthwhile program, but more people would possibly attend if it wasn't faith based.
MM, FL
 
Add a comment

 Inside AF.mil

ima cornerSearch

tabSubscribe AF.MIL
tabMore HeadlinesRSS feed 
Airmen deliver aid 'outside the wire'  2

New York Air National Guard supports Antarctic research  2

AF officials releasing enlisted quarterly assignment listing

Wounded warrior gets help with canine wingman

Little Rock squadron plays crucial role in one of Mobility Air Force's largest exercises

F-35: Newest fighter much more than just 'stealthy plane'  3

Hero at 30,000 feet

Silver Star represents 44-year closure for KIA Airman's family  1

Building culture to sustain resilient Airmen  2

Through Airmen's Eyes: Retired Airman recalls first AF flight over North Pole  1

Living a dream, one note at a time  2

'Today's Air Force' visits AF Honor Guard, Comic-Con

Predators, Reapers break flying record  2

Sound barrier pioneer celebrates 65 years  21  |  VIDEO

tabCommentaryRSS feed 
Teal ropes to spotlight sexual assault response  15

Air Force Academy energy research will yield global benefits


Site Map      Contact Us     Questions     Security and Privacy notice     E-publishing