News>Commentary - I'm glad he's home: Reintegrating after deployment
Photos
A pineapple sits on a table surrounded by pictures and a Christmas present during a portrait of Airman 1st Class Brigitte Brantley-Sisk Jan. 12, 2011. Her husband told her in his deployed location there wasn't any pineapples, so she bought him one for his homecoming and a present because he missed Christmas. Airman Brantley-Sisk is a 23rd Wing Public Affairs journalist. (U.S. Air Force photo/Airman 1st Class Joshua Green)
Husband and wife, Airman 1st Class Brigitte Brantley-Sisk and Staff Sgt. Clifford Sisk are finally reunited Jan. 12, 2011, after five months of separation due to a deployment. Airman Brantley-Sisk is a 23rd Wing Public Affairs journalist and Sergeant Sisk is from the 38th Rescue Squadron. (U.S. Air Force photo/Airman 1st Class Joshua Green)
Commentary by Airman 1st Class Brigitte N. Brantley-Sisk
23rd Wing Public Affairs
1/27/2011 - MOODY AIR FORCE BASE, Ga. (AFNS) -- It's great having someone around again to change the light bulbs and fix closet doors, but those were the small things that were easy to let go for the past 4.5 months while my husband was deployed.
Since we had been married for only two months before my husband, Staff Sgt. Clifford Sisk, an aircrew flight equipment NCO at the38th Rescue Squadron, deployed, taking over both our domestic duties wasn't as tough as it might have been for someone with six children.
I'm terrible at any type of mechanical job, so I'm glad the experience of being a newlywed wife going through our first deployment as a couple is over.
For a week before he returned, the bathroom tub was clogged and drained slowly. I did everything I could to unclog it, pouring gallons of cleaner down the drain and using various tools to break up whatever was in there. It took Cliff less than five minutes to figure out the switch to the drainage valve was flipped in the wrong direction.
Aside from having his help around the house, we've just enjoyed our time getting reacquainted and getting back into the groove of how things were before he left. We've been communicating just as well now as we did before he left, but he was in a relatively safe place and didn't face close calls or traumatic events.
However, some members coming back don't reintegrate so easily into their work, or home lives. While some families have a harder time getting back into their comfort zones, it should never be a violent process.
There are a few sources on base for any service member, or spouse who needs help with reintegrating.
The Family Advocacy clinic staff members provide treatment services for many situations, but also provides preventive services for situations like domestic abuse.
The Airman and Family Readiness Center staff members provide support for spouses, beginning with a predeployment briefing given prior to the service member's departure.
Just having someone to talk to can relieve some of the stress related to deployments. Although it can be tough not having your spouse around for months at a time, I never felt comfortable complaining about it. Military spouses choose this lifestyle, and whatever comes from it is a result of being married to a man in uniform.
When I was having a day where I hated the world and just wished he was here to be with me, I played music that tended to stop any self pity in its tracks. My favorite selections were "American Soldier" by Toby Keith, "Letters from War" by Mark Schultz and "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood.
Not only do they reinspire some patriotism in your heart, it's hard to feel bad for yourself when hearing about what many service members actually endure over there.
Our spouses are the ones in a foreign place while missing anniversaries, holidays and birthdays. Cliff missed a few of those and while it was unfortunate, self pity doesn't make the time pass any faster.
I was lucky that Cliff and I spoke a few times a week, but it was the other ways we communicated that made the time passing more bearable. I sent him some care packages with cookies, not necessarily baked by me, and he sent me flowers and chocolate. We also regularly sent letters and e-mails about the everyday occurrences in our lives.
Now all Cliff has left to do to is complete his "honey do" list, the first of many, and hopefully not get too much sleep.
