Guest Blogger ~ Al Kaniss

January is the traditional time for making New Year’s resolutions – a positive way to start to a brand new year.  Popular resolutions include losing weight, exercising more and improving your finances.  Unfortunately, most people fail to keep their resolutions, the common reasons being lack of willpower and goals that aren’t specific enough.  In case you’re still looking for a new year’s resolution that might succeed, I’d like to suggest one: be more encouraging to others.

Why?  Discouragement – essentially, a lack of hope -- is a serious problem that most people periodically suffer from.  It can interfere with our work, increase irritability, decrease our effectiveness, make us unpleasant to be around and cause us to make poor decisions.  In extreme cases, it can cause people to take their own lives.

Discouragement has many causes.  Some common ones include unmet expectations (like not getting an expected promotion); overwhelming circumstances (such as simultaneous child care and elder care);  too much unbroken routine (“Is this all there is to life? It seems like all I do is eat, sleep and go to work.”); and inadequate resources (time, money, energy, strength).
Encouragement, on the other hand, is the support which helps us get over rough times.  Knowing that there is someone else who truly understands and cares about how we feel can be a tremendous lift in times of discouragement.

So, how can we encourage others?  I like the saying “In relationships, the little things are the big things.”  One way is just to listen, really listen, to someone else’s problems.  This kind of listening is much harder than it sounds.  It’s not fake listening, or listening to respond and especially not listening to offer advice.  The goal is to really feel another person’s pain and heartache and truly appreciate what they are going through – and let them know you do.  For example, those who are not animal lovers might not get it when someone’s pet dies.  Such a loss can be as devastating as losing a human family member and is just as deserving of a sympathy card.

Another way to encourage is an offer of help.  Just as you would help someone with a physical problem (injury or sickness), running an errand, helping write a report or doing a peer-review of a document might be just the lift a discouraged person needs.

Words of praise and appreciation are also a great encourager, especially when specific and sincere. Something like, “Angela, you did a terrific job capturing the changes and action items at our specification review board, which will help assure that the resulting document is as accurate as possible.  Without your diligence, the review would have been much less effective. Thanks!”
 
These praises can be verbal, via e-mail, or in a hand-written note.  Small gifts, as long as appropriate, may also go over very well like buying someone a cup of coffee or taking them out to lunch.

The act of encouraging reminds me of cheerleading at sports events.  The cheerleaders don’t actually play the sport or score for the team they cheer for; they encourage the team members who do.  Their goal is to lift the spirits and energize the players they’re rooting for.  I don’t think anyone would dispute the important role cheerleaders play for a sports team.  We can play the same vital role for others.  Make it your resolution to be a better encourager – a cheerleader for others in our lives in 2012.