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| News > Commentary - Lose the training wheels |
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Lose the training wheels
Posted 10/20/2010
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Commentary by Col. Scott Brewer
386th Expeditionary Operations Group commander
10/20/2010 - SOUTHWEST ASIA (AFNS) -- I first taught my daughter to ride a bicycle using training wheels. The added support gave her the confidence to take off like a daredevil. She was content for awhile, until she realized her training wheels were holding her back. It was time to ride like her big brother -- without training wheels.
Over the next few days, we tried, but didn't make progress. She just couldn't balance on her own.
I struggled to figure out why, and then, it hit me. I was getting in the way.
My fear of her falling kept me so close that as soon as she'd begin to tip, I'd steady her. I had become her training wheels, and if she was going to learn, I'd have to let her go, both figuratively and literally.
We both had to find balance.
How should I support and guide her without causing unnecessary injury? Should I catch her before she skins her knee and possibly gives up, or is she just leaning and able to recover? This was a tricky dilemma that meant I had to time my engagement just right.
That problem -- determining when and how to engage -- is the central challenge we face as leaders. It's the sweet spot between balancing the success of our mission with the risk of failure so young leaders can learn how to spot mistakes early and correct them.
While it's quite natural to try to avoid failure, doing so can limit one's opportunity to learn.
Just like learning to ride a bike, no one starts off as an expert. It takes trial and error to learn to get your balance. When you step out of your comfort zone to do something new and fall short you are rewarded with feedback.
It's this process of making decisions, and living with the consequences, that enables our Airmen to grow and improve.
So what should you do when someone doesn't meet your expectations? Ask what they were thinking and then have them re-engage? Identify their good ideas and interject only what is needed to strengthen their ability to handle the project? Make it a collaborative effort and do it with them? Take it and do it yourself? There's a wide range of options, so how do you choose?
One way is to ask what tools need to be added to this individual's problem-solving toolbox so they can recover themselves. Are they falling or simply leaning? What will help them regain their balance so this can be an effective learning experience and build their confidence?
Finally, be sure to reflect on your own actions. Are you getting in the way and limiting others' ability to develop and grow?
I made all kinds of excuses when I started teaching my daughter to ride without training wheels, like "she's too young," or "I'm pushing her too hard." I couldn't resist my instinct to come to her rescue. I needed the courage and poise to let her lean closer to the ground so she had the opportunity to catch herself.
As soon as I changed my approach, I created a learning opportunity to help her gain self-reliance, freeing her to learn to balance herself. Within days she mastered her bike and gained the confidence to explore the neighborhood without being limited by her -- or my -- training wheels. |
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| TSgt, Germany |
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| SrA AA, Barksdale AFB |
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| Reg, Randolph AFB |
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