Senior U.N. officials may inspire awe, or perhaps fear, among the thousands of U.N. workers bees whose fate they control.

But they would hardly be considered international rock stars.

At least, that is, until now.

Singing Norwegian brothers, Bard and Jegard Ylvisaker, who host the variety show Ylvis, have produced a highly polished music video that sings the praises of the U.N.'s former emergency relief coordinator, Jan Egeland of Norway, who is currently serving as Human Rights Watch's European chief.

OK, actually, it makes fun of him.

"Gray Hair. Glasses. Suitcase. Humble. Clever. And constantly working for peace," Jegard sings in the parody homage. "Uganda. Congo. And the Oslo treaty plan. Oh my God, what a plan.'

"When hand grenades are flying there's just one man you can trust," he wails. "When there's war and all is hell; send in Jan Egeland. The United Nations superhero man."

Let's have a look:

P.S. Ban Ki-moon, if you are reading this maybe you need to talk to Psy and bring a little Gangnam Style to Turtle Bay.

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The U.N. Security Council tonight issued a statement that "condemned in the strongest terms" Syria's shelling of the Turkish town of Akcakale -- an attack that killed five civilians, all of them women and children -- and voiced their "sincerest condolences" to the Turkish government and the families of the victims.

The statement, which was backed by Russia and China, marked the first time that the U.N. Security Council has weighed in on the situation in Syria since July 19, when Moscow and Beijing vetoed a resolution threatening sanctions against Damascus.

The 15-nation council reached agreement on the text after more than a day of intensive talks that pitted Russia against the United States and other Western powers.

Moscow, which has served as Damascus's closest ally on the council, sought to strip out any language that directly accused the Syrian government of responsibility for the mortar strike, which triggered a series of retaliatory artillery strikes against Syrian targets.

Russia's U.N. envoy Vitaly Churkin also sought to remove any characterization of the Syrian action that might serve as a trigger for deeper Security Council involvement in a crisis. Churkin also sought to include a provision calling on both Syria and Turkey to show restraint.

The final statement was softened somewhat to accommodate some of Russia's concerns. For instance, it does not directly conclude that Syria's action constituted a threat to internationalpeace and stability.

Instead, it merely noted that the mortar attack "highlighted the grave impact the crisis in Syria has on its neighbors and on regional peace and stability." The statement demands that "such violations of international law stop immediately and are not repeated," but while it issues a call for restraint it doesn't specify who needs to exercise restraint.

Churkin, meanwhile, said he would be back in the council tomorrow to press for a condemnation of a deadly bomb attack in Syria's second city, Aleppo, which targeted a Syrian officers club and left more than 30 people dead.

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The Syrian government sought to avert an escalating military confrontation with Turkey today, offering its condolences to Turkey and the families affected by the Wednesday mortar attack, which killed a woman and four children, according to a Syrian letter to the U.N. Security Council and Secretary General Ban Ki-moon.  But Damascus stopped short of apologizing for the cross border strike against Turkey, a NATO member, and it offered no condolences to the Turkish government, reflecting the ongoing tensions between the two states.

The Syrian gesture came as NATO members convened in Brussels to consider a response to the cross border attack on a member of the organization, and Ban voiced growing concern over the risk that the confrontation might have on regional peace.

Syria's U.N. ambassador Bashar al-Jaafari, informed the U.N. in the letter that Syrian authorities "are seriously investigating" the circumstances leading up to the Wednesday mortar strike in the town of Akcakale. Regarding Turkey's military response, Jaafari noted that two Syrian Army officers were injured in a succession of artillery attacks on installations just south of the Syrian village of Tal Abiad. The Turkish barrage began at 7 p.m., stopped around midnight, and then resumed until 7 a.m. this morning. Syria did not respond to the Turkish fire.

Relations between Syria and Turkey, once close allies, have deteriorated since President Bashar al-Assad launched a violent crackdown on anti-government protesters in March 2011. The Turkish government has permitted anti-government insurgents to move weapons, cash, and other supplies across the Turkish border to rebel fighters seeking the overthrow of the Syrian regime.

Lakhdar Brahimi, the U.N.-Arab League special representative on Syria has been working with the two sides to ease tensions. The U.N. chief, meanwhile, expressed "alarm" over the standoff, saying, through his spokesman, that "the risks of regional conflict and the threat to international peace and security are also increasing."  

Brahimi said the two governments should handle the border incidents "wisely, rationally and responsibly" and asked the Turkish government  to cooperate with the Syrian authorities to impose greater controls over the border between the two countries.

Jaafari responded, saying that Syria conducts its relations with its neighbors with "rules of good neighborliness and respect for national sovereignties of states" but it expects its neighbors to "respect the national sovereignty of Syria, and to cooperate in border control and prevention of the infiltration of insurgents and terrorists."

The Syrian missive was transmitted to the council as it is weighing its response to the Syrian mortar attack. Last night, Azerbaijan introduced a statement condemning the Syrian strike as a threat to international peace and security and demanding that such acts stop immediately. But Russia, which has claimed that Syrian authorities have assured Moscow that the cross-border attack was an accident, blocked the statement's approval, and offered a competing statement that would also condemn the Syria strike but which called on both sides to "exercise restraint and avoid military clashes that could lead to further escalations."

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Turkey's U.N. envoy Ertugrul Apakan delivered the U.N. Security Council a letter tonight describing the Syrian mortar attack against a small border village in Turkey as "an act of aggression" that "constitutes a flagrant violation of international law."

The Turkish envoy called on the 15-nation council to "take necessary action to put an end to such acts of aggression and that Syria respects Turkey's sovereignty, territorial integrity and security."Apakan said that Syrian armed forced shelled the town of Akcakale near the Turkish border, killing "five Turkish civilians, all of whom were women and children, as well as a number of serious injuries" to others.

The Turkish letter marks the opening of a diplomatic campaign at the United Nations to muster wide international support against Syria. It makes no reference to Ankara's military reprisals against Syria. But it warns Syria not to bring "an immediate end" to any further "unacceptable violations" of Turkish territory.

"This is an act of aggression by Syria against Turkey," Apakan wrote. "It constitutes a flagrant violation of international law as well as a breach of international peace and security."

It remained unclear precisely what sort of action Turkey favored.

The U.N. Security Council is planning to meet tomorrow to consider the Turkish request. Before Turkey responded militarily to the Syrian mortar attack, some council diplomats had been considering pushing for a statement condemning Syria's action. Council diplomats said they are now updating the language.

Acting on behalf of Turkey, Azerbaijan tonight circulated a draft Security Council statement condemning Syria "in the strongest terms" and expressing "sincere condolences" to the Turkish government and the families of the victims. The statement demands that Syria desist from further "violations" of international law.

The statement, however, would require the support of all 15 members of the council to be adopted.  Russia, which is Syria's closest ally on the Security Council, has asked for a delay until 10:00 AM (NYC time) to decide whether to back the statement.

France's foreign ministry, meanwhile, issued a statement recalling that it is a military "ally" and that Turkey enjoyed its full support.

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The Syrian war spilled over into the Turkish borderlands today, as Syrian mortars killed at least five civilians in the border town of Akcakale, triggering Turkish reprisal strikes against artillery targets inside Syria, according to U.N. and Turkish officials.

The skirmish has fueled concern among top U.N. and Arab officials that a widening conflict may become a deadly reality. U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon pleaded with Turkish Foreign Minister Ahmet Davutolgu in a phone conversation to maintain open lines of communications with Syrian authorities to prevent the exchange from escalating into a more violence cross-border conflict.

"The secretary general has repeatedly warned that the ongoing militarization of the conflict in Syria is leading to tragic results for the Syrian people," according a statement from Ban's office. "Today's incidents, where firing from Syria struck a Turkish town, again demonstrated how Syria's conflict is threatening not only the security of the Syrian people but increasingly causing harm to its neighbors."

Ahmad Fawzi, the spokesman for the U.N.-Arab League special representative to Syria, Lakhdar Brahimi, said today's cross border violence underscored a chief concern of the U.N. trouble shooter and his predecessor, Kofi Annan . "This is an example of what we have been warning about for seven to eight months," he said. "If this explodes, it will be catastrophic for the region and by its very nature will involve the proxy powers."

The cross-border incidents came as a devastating bomb attack in Aleppo marked a deadly new phase in the struggle for Syria's second largest city, highlighting the increasing escalation of violence by opposition forces in a conflict that began as a popular, and largely peaceful, anti-government uprising.

A series of four explosions -- apparently targeting a Syrian officers club and other pro-regime facilities in the Sadallah Jabri Square -- killed more than 30 people and turned a historic section of the city into rubble.

Syrian government officials denounced the bombing as a ruthless terrorist attack by suicide bombers that failed to discriminate against military and civilian victims. But supporters of the resistance said that attacks were against a military target.

"This is a legitimate target, nobody can get into that area without a military ID," said Radwan Ziadeh, a U.S.-based member of the opposition Syrian National Council. "All the people killed there they belong to the Assad regime's army."

The United Nations and Western human rights organizations, including Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch, stopped short of condemning the attack, saying they did not have sufficient information to determine whether the attack targeted legitimate military installations, or whether they had recklessly endangered civilians in a heavily populated urban area.

But Fawzi said that the scale of the violence is growing daily. "The escalation is happening on both sides and we have said time and time again that the government should stop using heavy weapons, including helicopter gun-ships, and the opposition should equally cease attacks," he said. "But we are not equating the two because it is obvious the government is stronger and we ask that the government first stop and that the opposition, in turn, stop."

Human Rights Watch emergencies researcher Ole Solvang, who returned from a visit to Aleppo in August, voiced concern about abuses by opposition forces. Solvang said his group documented more than a dozen cases of extra-judicial executions of individuals suspected of serving in pro-government militias, known as Shabhiha, and the widespread use of a torture method -- the falaqa -- which involves the beating on soles of the feet, and which "seemed to be condoned from above." But he said the overall insurgent strategy was aimed more at gaining control of the town rather than sowing terror.

Solvang said the resistance in Aleppo was deeply riven between more moderate pro-democracy groups and Islamists engaged in a "battle of ideas or visions" about the future of Syria. But he said he saw little evidence to support a major role by foreign jihadists.

Joshua Landis, an expert on Syria, said today's attack does not reflect an isolated attack by a fringe extremist group, but a strike in a broader rebel strategy aimed at destroying the sense of security and stability of Syria's urban elites in the power centers of Damascus and Aleppo in exchange for their political support.

"This is all about these two major cities: they are the prize, they are the golden goose," said Landis. "The rebels have to take that away: the goal is to take away the security and stability from every Syrian because then, this government will offer them nothing."

"The trouble is the government cannot allow the rebels to just take the cities; it can't play that game because it will lose," he said. "What that means is that the cities are going to be destroyed. They are going to be turned into Berlin; they are going to be firebombed by both sides."

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The U.N. Security Council has killed plans for a high-level visit to Afghanistan later this month amid concerns that conditions are too dangerous, according to Security Council diplomats familiar with the planned trip.

Germany -- which oversees Afghanistan issues in the Security Council -- had proposed leading a U.N. Security Council delegation to the country from October 20-24. But the U.N. warned that the trip -- which included a side stop in Yemen -- would run risks.

The decision to put off the trip followed a closed door Security Council briefing this afternoon by the U.N.'s top security official -- U.N. Undersecretary General Gregory Starr, who was updating the 15-nation council on security for the U.N.'s far flung missions.

Starr -- a former security chief for the U.S. State Department -- said it would be better to postpone the visit. But some diplomats said a visit would be unlikely later because the onset of winter would make travel far more difficult.

At the request of Susan Rice, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations -- who also favored postponing the trip -- attendance at today's meeting was restricted to the top Security Council ambassadors.

One council diplomat said that the official reason for the trip's cancellation is that no dates had ever been set and the consensus was that it would be better to postpone until the new year. But the "obvious reason," the official said, "is that you don't want to go to these dangerous places when there are threats."

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An Iranian cameraman traveling with President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad during his recent visit to the United Nations General Assembly defected last week and is now seeking political asylum in the United States, the man's lawyer, Paul O'Dwyer told Turtle Bay.

Hassan Gol Khanban, a long time videographer for the Iranian National News Agency who frequently traveled with the president, went into hiding after the Iranian delegation left New York on Thursday, according to O'Dwyer.

O'Dwyer said Khanban's wife and two young children have also left Iran for a third country and that he is trying to arrange for them to come to the United States.

"He is seeking political asylum on behalf of his belief, and obviously the fact that he defected makes him automatically an enemy of the regime," O'Dwyer said. He was "opposed to how the regime treats people, the level of repression that exists there."

Khanban traveled to the United States on a G-2 diplomatic visa to cover Ahmadinejad's eighth and final visit as president to New York, where he delivered a speech to the U.N. General Assembly, conducted multiple interviews, and gave a press conference with American journalists, editors, and publishers.

The defection provided an embarrassing bookend to a visit in which Ahmadinejad had sought to portray Iran's success in challenging America's dominance on the world stage. In a series of statements, the Iranian leader denounced the United States as a belligerent warmonger that had wreaked havoc in the Middle East with its military adventures in Afghanistan and Iraq. But there was no indication that Khanban would turn out to be a major intelligence coup for the United States.

O'Dwyer said that his client was sufficiently "trusted" by the government to be allowed to travel with the president but that he wasn't "like a policy maker or a policy advisor. He was there to shoot video."

O'Dwyer also said that his client had differed with the Iranian delegation during the visits when they instructed him to "film stuff" that wasn't apparently related to his journalistic duties. O'Dwyer was unwilling to provide any specifics on what he was asked to film.

However, it appears that Khanban may have already been planning to flee Iran before he arrived -- he had arranged for his family to get out of the country before he filed his claim for asylum, which was first reported by the New York Daily News.

O'Dwyer declined to say where Khanban, who is in his forties, is staying "out of concern for his safety.

The Iranian mission to the United Nations did not respond to a request for comment.

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U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon today voiced alarm about Syria's possible use of chemical weapons in the course of the country's worsening civil war, saying that Syria's resort to this arsenal would constitute an "outrageous crime with dire consequences." 

Speaking in advance of a high-level U.N. meeting on the prohibition of chemical weapons, the U.N. chief today reiterated his call -- first delivered weeks ago in a letter to Syrian President Bashar al-Assad -- on Damascus to ensure the "safety and security" of the country's chemical weapons stockpile.

The remarks came three days after Defense Secretary Leon Panetta expressed concern that a small portion of Syria's chemical weapons arsenal may have gone missing during a transfer from one the country's secured chemical weapons sites. Panetta said Syrian authorities had moved the chemical weapons to ensure their security at a time when the government is battling a major armed insurgency. Panetta said that while most of Syria's chemical weapons sites were secure, he could not confirm whether the materials transferred by the government had fallen into the hands of opposition forces or Iranian forces inside the country.

It remained unclear whether Ban was simply expressing concern about the humanitarian fallout of a chemical weapons attack against Syrians or foreign governments opposed to the Assad regime, or whether he was referring to the potential of a withering military response by the United States or other Western governments in the event that the Syrian government used such weapons.

The remarks came just hours after the U.N. chief met behind closed doors with Syria's foreign minister, Walid Mouallem. Following the meeting, which took place on the sidelines of the U.N. General Assembly debate, Ban scolded Mouallem for his government's "killings, massive destruction, human rights abuses, and aerial and artillery attacks" against Syrian populations, and urged him to "show compassion" to Syrians who "were being killed everyday," according to a statement from Ban's office.

In a speech this afternoon before the U.N. General Assembly, Mouallem made no reference to Syria's chemical weapons program. Instead, he delivered a combative speech, accusing the United States and its allies of abetting terrorism in Syria and blatantly interfering in the country's internal affairs. He also claimed that the Syrian refugee crisis has been "fabricated" by armed groups seeking to exploit their plight to raise funds for their cause.

The Syrian diplomat's speech offered a starkly different account of realities on the ground in Syria than that described by Syrian activists, foreign journalists, the United Nations, and most Arab and Western governments, who have blamed the Syrian armed forces, and government-backed militias, for driving more than 300,000 refugees into neighboring countries, including Iraq, Jordan, and Turkey.

In contrast, Moallem urged Syrian refugees to make the trek back to Syria, promising that his government would "guarantee their safe return and their precious lives away from inhuman conditions they suffer in these camps."

"While my government is working hard to meet the basic needs of citizens who have been forced by the violence of the armed groups to flee their homes, some have sought to fabricate a refugee crisis through inciting armed groups to intimidate Syrian civilians in border areas and forcing them to flee to neighboring countries," Mouallem said. "There they are either accommodated in military training camps, or in what resembles places of detention, aimed arid or rugged regions, and exploit their plight to get aid spent mostly on goals that have no relevance to humanitarian objectives."

One Security Council diplomat dismissed the Syrian official's speech as "predictable" but "totally out of touch with reality. His points on the refugee crisis were breathtaking in their cynicism. How can he blame others for the displacement of millions while the Syrian regime is using indiscriminate shelling, aircraft and helicopter gun-ships and militia to terrorize civilians."

Mouallem acknowledged no role by Damascus in precipitating the violence in Syria, which began 19 months ago with a violent government crackdown on peaceful anti-government protesters. The conflict has since evolved into a civil war that has left more than 30,000 dead, driven 1 million from their homes and force hundreds of thousands more to flee to safety.

Mouallem told foreign delegates in New York on the final day of the U.N. General Assembly debate that his government's policies enjoy the backing of the Syrian people, and that President Assad's government remains committed to a "constructive dialogue" with the opposition in "the making of the present and the future of Syria." "The bond is very strong in my country between state policies and the aspirations of the people," Mouallem said. He said the government is currently working with "patriotic components in the opposition to build a new and pluralistic Syria that responds to the aspirations of its people."

The Syrian diplomat said, however, that his country is the victim of a neocolonial scheme, organized by the United States and its European and Arab allies, and aimed at imposing "hegemony and domination" over Syria. He said that Western-backed sanctions -- which impose hardship on ordinary Syrians - were harming the people they are purporting to protect. And he accused the United States and Britain -- "who launched wars under the pretext of combating terrorism" -- of now supporting "terrorism in my country." Under the pretext of humanitarian interventions, he said the "drums of war are beaten, and sedition and unrest are spreading."

The U.S. mission to the United Nations did not respond to request for comment.

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