One of the most important and biggest lessons learned over the past five years working in the fatherhood field is that “You can’t do it by yourself.”

Over the last decade or so, both synergy and energy have revived a renewed interest in looking at the issues facing Non-Custodial (mostly fathers) parents. The 2006 federal funding of Responsible Fatherhood programs did much to stimulate the capacity of the field to serve fathers. Because of it, we are excited about the promise of federal funding. The $75 million for Responsible Fatherhood and $75 million for Healthy Relationships and Marriage will build new capacity in addition to building on the existing infrastructure in the field.

Long gone are the days that a potential grantee can wait until the last few days before a grant is due and scramble for friendly organizations to write a “letter of recommendation.” Collaboration is a must for any organization seeking to work with fathers, particularly low income fathers. The needs are too vast and complex for any one agency to adequately provide the much needed long term case management necessary to provide productive and healthy outcomes.

Listen, I understand. My kindergarten teacher commented on one of my report cards, “Kenny doesn’t play well in the sandbox with others.” What did I have to do?

Don’t be discouraged. I believe we can do it. It’s much more satisfying to win as a team. Our children need our collective ideas, resources and passion to ensure their success. The best way to do that is by finding ways to work with those who are willing and passionate to make a difference. Collaboration done correctly can surely create family change our communities need.

Kenneth Braswell is a fatherhood expert with over 21 years of community development experience, and has previously worked as the Director of the New York State Fatherhood Initiative (www.dads.ny.gov). He is currently the Executive Director of Fathers incorporated and a consultant for ICF International.

Being a Military Dad and an Advocate for my Son

Being a father is a tough job. As a father in the military, there are numerous opportunities and times where being a father can be overwhelming. It can sometimes feel like the role of father is completely forgotten, which can lead to even more stress.

Probably the thing that causes me the most stress as a father is figuring out where, when, and how I can get the services that my son requires and then how to maintain those services. My son, Joshua, was born with Congenital Cytomegalovirus (cCMV). As a result of this pre-birth infection, Joshua has many challenges. He is legally deaf and legally blind, and he suffers from cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Being a military dad means I need to be responsible for these elements in addition to the pressures of a military career, including extended deployments in an environment that has few available resources.

For me personally, finding a way and moving forward means advocating for Joshua and all special needs children and families in the military. As is the nature of the military, we transfer every 2-4 years. But I am privileged to say that the bonds that I have established with these other Dads do not know distance. I am still in phone contact with some of them. I am humbled by being selected as the 2011 Military Fatherhood Award winner, sponsored by the National Fatherhood Initiative, and being selected as a Champion of Change.

I will use the platform offered and champion the changes that need to be made. It is my desire to advocate for more attention to be placed on the father and fatherhood resources for military fathers, including resources to help fathers re-enter the family unit after an extended deployment.

LS1 Christopher Cady is in the U.S. Navy and is the recipient of the 2011 Military Fatherhood Award from the National Fatherhood Initiative.