602. Have we mentioned Joe Biden?
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603. Comparing himself to Martin Luther King.
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604. Because not all of our foreign allies can “punch above their weight.”
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605. He needs more time to hang out with celebrities.
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606. Accepting Harry Reid’s lies about Romney’s tax returns.
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607. “I’m LeBron, baby.”
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608. Because since becoming president, Obama has appeared on The Tonight Show and The Late Show, taped a promotion for George Lopez, taped a video for The Colbert Report . . .
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609. He has also taped a prime-time special with Oprah, been the subject of an NBC News prime-time special, been the subject of an HBO documentary, and grilled with Food Network star Bobby Flay.
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610. And he has popped up in commercials during Thanksgiving football, and filled out his NCAA basketball tournament picks on ESPN; and now he is appearing on American Idol. (Again.)
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611. Because we don’t want to eat our vegetables.
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612. So Olympic gold medalist Gabby Douglas can once again enjoy an Egg McMuffin in peace.
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613. Believing reducing “obesity” will save $1 trillion per year.
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614. Lying about Romney’s position on abortion.
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615. Borrowing arguments from Elizabeth Warren.
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616. Being on the same team as Elizabeth Warren.
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617. Because the Constitution was not “put to paper more than 20 centuries ago.”
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618. Because encouraging Americans to buy “thingamajigs” is not an economic plan.
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619. We can’t survive Obama’s dealing with foreign leaders for “the next eight to ten years.”
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620. Because Georgia isn’t in Russia.
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621. We rather like the words “created,” “Creator,” and “Life” in the Declaration of Independence.
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622. Accusing Mitt Romney of killing a woman.
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623. Because his main opponent is not “cynicism.”
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624. Government is most definitely not “cool again.”
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625. Demagoguing the PATRIOT Act and then quietly signing an extension.
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626. Because Obama’s parents were supposedly inspired to get married by “Bloody Sunday” in Selma, Ala., which happened four years after their actual wedding.
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627. For $40,000-a-plate fundraising dinners in Hollywood.
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628. At a $38,500-a-plate fundraiser at the home of the CEO of the bank that advised GM during its bailout, he said: “A lot of people [here] have seen directly the damage that’s been done [by] this recession.”
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629. The GSA spent $823,000 on a conference for 300 employees at a luxury Las Vegas hotel.
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630. Airfare and lodging for the planning trips alone cost $147,000.
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631. The GSA spent $3,200 on a mind reader.
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632. The GSA spent $6,300 on commemorative coins.
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633. The GSA spent $75,000 on a training exercise to build a bicycle.
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634. The GSA treated 120 interns to a conference at a Palm Springs resort.
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635. Richard Trumka is a frequent White House guest.
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636. e. christi cunningham
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637. Persecuting Boeing for expanding operations in a right-to-work state.
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638. Card check.
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639. Appointing Sharon Block and Richard Griffin to the National Labor Relations Board . . .
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640. . . . as recess appointments.
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641. The DISCLOSE Act.
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642. Nationalizing the student-loan industry.
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643. Using the loan market to push young people into the “helping” professions.
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644. Because his wife’s last job paid in the middle six figures but she advised a roomful of working women to abjure financial gain to engage in public service.
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645. Trying to end the D.C. Opportunity Scholarship Program.
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646. And doing so while sending his daughters to Sidwell Friends.
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647. Joe Biden.
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648. Filing briefs in support of affirmative action and race-based quotas in public universities.
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649. A new federal office specifically dedicated to educational efforts for African Americans.
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650. Race-based quotas for school discipline.
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651. “I am a strong supporter of affirmative action.”
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652. Because he wants to squeeze the fruit again.
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653. We don’t need a “civilian national-security force.”
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654. We don’t need an Internet kill switch.
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655. The FCC’s attempting to impose “net neutrality.”
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656. “Nobody accused Mr. Romney of being a felon” (except Obama’s deputy campaign manager).
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657. Trying to move the census from the Department of Commerce to the White House.
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658. Valerie Jarrett.
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659. He tried to appoint Tom Daschle.
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660. “I don’t think you or anybody who’s been watching the campaign would say yes, that in any way we have tried to divide the country. We’ve always tried to bring the country together.”
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661. Mom jeans.
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662. Eating dog.
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663. He picked his dog from the same litter as Ted Kennedy.
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664. To give salmon regulators a break.
![]()
665. To shut up the Birthers . . .
![]()
666. . . . especially Trump . . .
![]()
667. . . . until Rubio runs.
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668. So he can blame it on Bush.
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669. It’s time for a Choom Gang reunion.
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670. For governing “Present.”
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671. If you’re going to fill your autobiography with fake women, you could at least make them more appealing.
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672. That Jimmy Fallon appearance.
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673. “Cominskey.”
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674. Do it for Andrew Breitbart.
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675. He throws like a girl.
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676. He bowls like a four-and-a-half-year-old.
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677. He wore a White Sox hat with a Nationals jersey to throw out his first pitch.
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678. Roman Genn is really good at drawing Romney and Ryan.
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679. We can’t take any more cowbell.
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680. The presidency is really starting to eat into his golf game.
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681. Comedians will be able to joke about the president again.
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682. Bill Clinton needs this.
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683. We need change we can believe in.
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684. Recovery November.
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685. The president can hook up again with Bill Ayers, “a guy who lives in [his] neighborhood.”
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686. He’ll be able to spend more time with his family.
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687. Because that first public cigarette will be smooooooth.
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688. Because the post-election
National Review cruise can’t stock enough liquor if it goes the other way.
![]()
689. Because you built that.
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