So we hear from the British Medical Journal that accidental and violent deaths are seven times more likely in The Archers than anywhere else in Britain. This shouldn't surprise listeners, and it certainly won't surprise us actors who are used to the precariousness nature of life in the fictitious world.
In the hands of the soap production offices, characters are, to paraphrase Lear: "… flies to wanton boys … they kill us for their sport." Storylines are all important, no actor should, or indeed, does feel safe, and certainly a lot of The Archers cast this time last year were wondering who was going to be the sacrificial lamb for the sake of the 60th anniversary episode. What was going to Shake Ambridge to the Core (or SATTC as it became known).
For two or three months it kept us all amused and was a more topical conversation in the green room than discussing our lack of episodes. We joked about who was favourite for "the push". Was it going to be a whole family, or one of the great unheard? Titcombe perhaps?
As we know though, dear old Nigel Pargetter drew the short straw and I found myself in the unenviable position of recording the infamous Lower Loxley roof death fall.
Memories of Tony Hancock refusing to die in The Bowmans came to mind, and don't think that didn't occur to me in the studio!
But hang on. In the world of make-believe and theatre, we actors love a good death. What young thespian, on leaving Rada, doesn't dream of expiring as Hamlet in Horatio's arms delivering: "… the rest is silence," or manfully exiting stage left, stiff upper lip, to obvious certain death, as I did last year in Journey's End.
It makes me think of the old actor's comment, in tribute to Peter Sellers's wonderful character, Warrington Minge, "not a great part", but a "practical meal" every night in Act III. But that's another story.
Better to go out with a bang (or a scream) as I found. Nigel could have drifted out of the programme with fewer and fewer storylines as is the fate of so many of my colleagues. "Are you still in the programme?" is a question a so-called regular dreads to hear. A bit like James Dean, Nigel has become more famous dead than alive. What does this say? Never underestimate the importance of the public. Editors and actors take note.
One word of warning to soap actors: don't get too excited if the bookings start rolling in, you could be heading for the high jump. As Richard III said to his brother: "We are not safe Clarence …"
Comments
19 December 2011 6:07PM
that was one hell of a scream graham!!!
second only to edvard munch's
x
19 December 2011 6:13PM
must add what a funny & joyous article.
thank you.
"warrington minge". how soon we forget those life-enhancing parts....
19 December 2011 6:14PM
Am I alone In feeling sorry for Sam the cow man.
19 December 2011 6:17PM
h. There,s nowt wrong wi, Warrington minge. And I should know.
19 December 2011 6:18PM
TMI as the kids say (or probably don't anymore).
x
19 December 2011 6:43PM
Very sorry they knocked you off. You were a very jolly character.
I've actually stopped watching soaps, in no small part because I don't like seeing characters I like killed, for the sake of plot devices.
19 December 2011 6:50PM
Delightful read that, thanks.
19 December 2011 6:50PM
You're missed, Graham. Your departure didn't so much SATTC as MAAMMP (Make Ambridge a more miserable place)
19 December 2011 7:11PM
The infamous Lower Loxley with its 400 foot tall roof.
I'm just surprised Nigel Pargetter did not run out of breath mid scream and have to start over before he finally hit the ground.
19 December 2011 7:17PM
If I was married to Lizzie, I would throw myself off the roof, too!
19 December 2011 7:22PM
brilliant!
freddie and his f*cking pony are already making me reach for the samaritans this christmas.....
x
19 December 2011 7:23PM
I haven't listened to a minute of the Archers since Nigel was killed off.
Wonder if I have missed anything?
19 December 2011 7:29PM
It's actually been rather good, if miserable. It turns out that Clarrie's gippy tummy was more of a core-shaker than Nigel making a hole in the lawn.
19 December 2011 7:30PM
While I can understand it if an actor wants to leave a show (but there are more peaceful means of leaving!), I think soaps are excessive in their use of violent deaths (especially with serial killers, gangsters & c.). I can't help but think this fuels some people's fears about crime & c., Soaps are no longer rooted in the 'kitchen sink' drama tradition: they are, increasingly, 'penny-dreadfuls'.
19 December 2011 7:34PM
pat is in flux, zzzzzzzz. tom's smug-o-metre has gone viral unlike his pigs & brenda is still reading the "how to be successful online' book by bernie madoffwithallthecash
x
19 December 2011 7:43PM
There were so many other characters I wanted killed off - could I handle all that stress again?
A year in the wilderness...
19 December 2011 7:46PM
Didn't Nigel get written out many years ago and have to be brought back, Bowman-like, by popular demand? Perhaps as a Ghost that haunts Lower Loxley.
19 December 2011 8:32PM
Brookside Close? I'm sure there was a time when every second house had suffered a murder/killing.
Nothing personal, but I haven't missed Nigel much, -he was just one upper class twit among many, and it's been good to hear Elizabeth (pretending to) suffer, a bit.
She's an Archer though, so she'll pull through, while waiting for the insurance cheque.
19 December 2011 8:53PM
Elizabeth! That is the one I really wanted killed!
19 December 2011 9:17PM
I haven't listened for the last year either. I had no objection in principal to the shock value, but with Nigel gone the ratio of irritating characters to likable characters was just too much.
I wonder how many other long term listeners they lost.
19 December 2011 9:19PM
principle
19 December 2011 9:24PM
I think that was Bobby Ewing in Dallas.
19 December 2011 9:43PM
Yes, pleasant article by Graham Seed.
I didn't think it was much of a ground-shaker at the time. Not as dramatic as Mark Hebden's car-crash, or Tom Archer's tractor accident. Shame that Graham's character drew the short straw; he was a very sympathetic character, once he stopped being a Hooray Henry all those years ago.
I've been dipping in and out of the radio soap since the late 1970s, and listen to it a little less these days, but still quite enjoy it. Every now and then there's been some revetting story-lines across the years - the long decline and death of John Archer, the harassment of George Barford by Clive Horobin, the racial harassment of Usha, and more.
Best wishes,
Michael.
19 December 2011 9:56PM
To be honest, the best bit about Nigel's death was the wonderful piece the radio program More or Less did in calculating how tall Lower Loxley had to be in order for the scream to last that long...
19 December 2011 9:57PM
Totally agree. I used to enjoy the soaps, but the ridiculous turbo charged hyped up nature of them now is a complete turn off.
Even with the Archers, we lost Nigel and gained more teens.
19 December 2011 10:36PM
Had to think about that one. For a moment I thought you meant Dave Bowman. I imagined Nigel Pargetter coming back as a Star Child to watch over Ambridge.
19 December 2011 11:32PM
The Archers should all be drowned in a pit of their own suburban slurry.
19 December 2011 11:54PM
I've never liked the Archers, but I agree with your point about how pivotal a good, proper and believable death can be. However, as i'm much more partial to the more classical ends of our literature and theatre, be it in Anthony's falling upon his sword, or Juliet's drinking of the poison, I don't think the Archers will really have anything that can compare, unless they come up with a plot consisting of a Christmas Shakespeare play that goes horribly wrong.
20 December 2011 1:16AM
I'm so glad! Nigel didn't really die after all, then! He just buggered off, as I always said he should!
Well done, the Boy Nige! Hope you're happy, wherever you are.
The dreadful Lizzard is still being dreadful. You did the right thing, Nige, I reckon. You're well out of it.
Your kids, the twins, are turning out a bit weird, I'm afraid. Still, hey ho.
It's sad, though - no-one else in the family or the village seems to miss you at all, apart from Shula (and she's always been a bit strange, frankly.)
20 December 2011 1:59AM
Glad to hear that Graham Seed is doing OK. This puts to bed the insincere argument put forward by some Archers fans that Nigel should not have been killed off because the actor would be out of work.
Again, the comments here are remarkable. Yes, there are more young people in The Archers now. So what? There is nothing wrong with that. The objections to the rise in young characters betrays, to my mind, a certain type of listener, unable to accept change and feeling that they own The Archers and that the programme should never move beyond their very narrow definition. Get out of your comfort zone and learn tolerance. (I understand people feeling that the writing has gone downhill, but please remember that is only an opinion, stop believing that yours is the gospel.)
Sionnyn - On the BBC's website, people were seriously calling for a Dallas-style 'it was all a dream' resolution, whilst in the same breath calling for more 'realism'. You couldn't make it up, could you?
For all the people saying that Ambridge wasn't shaken to the core, maybe the repercussions are not yet over. Have we not just seen fallout from John Archer's death which was about 15 years ago?
At least one can discuss the programme here without the claims of the mentally unstable, saying that the programme is under the thrall of a 'PC agenda' etc...
20 December 2011 2:07AM
I haven't listened to the Archers since Nigel was killed off either. He was my favourite - I'd have pushed off Helen or Tom, Pat or Eddie Grundy before Nigel. I hated the way it was done, I hated the fact that the actor had hardly any more advance warning than the listeners, and I hated the drama that has been introduced into the Archers, which led to Nigel's death.
I liked my Archers ordinary and fairly non-eventful, the way real life is. Once they'd turned it into a countrified EastEnders, I'd had enough. The sad thing is that there are loads of soaps with kidnappings, deaths and constant aggression (East Enders, Coronation Street, Neighbours, Home and Away to name but four). There aren't many quiet and ordinary soaps.
It seems to me that Radio 4 in general is working hard to lose their natural audience and gain people who would be happier over on Radio 1.
20 December 2011 9:15AM
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
...hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
...how wonderful, a Graham Seed article!
20 December 2011 10:12AM
They're not something I've ever enjoyed: the genre doesn't appeal (simultaneously too mundane and too melodramatic), and also I've never had the patience/persistence to stick with such long runs. It's fine with a story that you know is building up to an end, but it's the never-ending nature of them... How can people commit to watching these things several times a week? Don't viewers have other things to do? At least Doctor Who, when it's on, is only once a week and has breaks during the year.
21 December 2011 7:21AM
Drearily cosy middle class conformist propaganda. Even falling of the roof had a kind of moral censure.