Since I spend much of my time studying the resulting debris from protons destroyed in LHC collisions, I was a little nervous as to how one of them might react to being interviewed. But he seemed relaxed, and positive.

JMB: "It's been quite a year! You are famously a very stable chap, but did the excitement get too much for you at any point?"

LHCP: "It's been tremendously exciting. Of course, one has to remember that about 500 trillion of us protons have been lost, but it's in a good cause. It's a very emotional experience. Ups and downs, you know."

JMB: "But more up than down?"

LHCP: "Twice as much, yes."

JMB: "You been around a bit though, right? There aren't many ways protons get destroyed, really, are there? So you must have seen a lot."

LHCP: "I'm billions of years old, yes. Been hanging around since a few seconds after the big bang, you know. I've been in a star, seen a supernova from the inside..."

JMB: "Yet you remain very much a free agent, working at the LHC. Have you ever thought of settling down and joining a nucleus? Maybe having electrons?"

LHCP: "No."

JMB: "Do you think neutrons are important?"

LHCP: "Well, they're only stable when they're bound together with one or two of us protons. I find that a little needy, don't you?"

JMB: "Do you see much of other hadrons in general?"

LHCP: "Well, we see a lot of them produced at the LHC of course, but they're very much here today, gone tomorrow. As for lead ions... have you seen the size of them? There were rumours we were going to have to collide with them in December - didn't fancy that. Of course, at Brookhaven we'd have got gold nuclei, very bling. But lead? No thanks!"

JMB: "Despite the huge power of the LHC, you still travel at slightly less than the speed of light. How do you feel about being beaten by neutrinos?"

LHCP: "Well, there's no doubt it's frustrating, stuck at 0.9999996 something of the speed of light. And yes, when I heard about the neutrinos I was a bit ticked off. Especially as they come from my colleagues being smacked into a target. Every neutrino to Gran Sasso is one less proton in the LHC, you know. But they are cowboys. Lightweights. I don't trust them."

JMB: "You might not be aware of it, but you are the only particle to be the subject of two favourite particle articles on Life & Physics. One by Rob Appleby, on hadron therapy, and one by me on particle physics stuff. How does that make you feel? Why do you think that is?"

LHCP: "Really? I didn't know that. I don't read the papers you know, apart from Physical Review Letters and the Morning Baryon. I must take a look. I am very proud of the hadron therapy thing. I guess that's why we're in two of your bloggy things - we're very versatile. Should be more than two, really!"

JMB: "Before you guys were in there, the LHC tunnel was full of electrons and positrons, but that machine was scrapped. Does that make you feel a bit guilty?"

LHCP: "You must be joking. Those leptons had it their own way for far too long. It was about time some particles with real energy and intensity took over."

JMB: "Do you think much about what might come after the LHC?"

LHCP: "Not at the moment, there's too much to do. We might be able to go at higher energies this year, and we're planning to go even higher in a couple of years. And there'll be a lot more of us. Lots to look forward to!"

JMB: "Indeed. Well thanks for your time. But before you go, I have to ask - have you seen the Higgs boson?"

LHCP (laughs): "Ha ha. You're going to love it when you find out what's really going on there. All this fuss is such a hoot!"

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