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Men are from Mars, women wish they would go back there.

the challenges of communicating with the sex opposite to yours can most often be overcome by being clear about what you are communicating, and asking questions about what you don't understand

Cool. So the most effective thing to say to a potential lover is, "I would like to fuck you. Would you like to fuck me?"

After reading that, I'm more mystified than ever.

Much like physicists enjoy arguing, women enjoy sex.

In that case I don't think I could handle a female physicist.
Do they, you know, do both at the same time ?

Saying that Internet pornography teaches nothing about women is superfluous. Anyone who hasn't worked that out is a lost cause.

It's quite brave of Stephen Hawking to admit that women are a complete mystery to him. I think many men (not just intellectuals with massive brains) have this problem, but few admit to it or actually feel a need to resolve it.

My tip would be talk to them more. Its only through engagement and communication that you will realise that we are not completely alien. Its something that I don't think can be studied. You won't learn how a woman thinks through reading a book - unless its her diary (in which case you're not a gentlman). Nor can you ponder gender - you need to get out there and speak to women.

pretty much.

Wow, trying to be funny, eh? This just reads as patronising.

I just think Stephen Hawking has a history of playing "divide and rule" to be honest...

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A Brief List of Five Obvious Points About Women

1: Do not assume that you may speak in the same way to women as you can to men of your acquaintance. For example, it is often perfectly acceptable to refer to a male friend or workmate as a 'fat bastard', even to his face. It is unwise to refer to a woman as a 'fat bitch', whether to her face or otherwise.
2: Women may have different priorities and values. It is best not to make a fuss over this, or otherwise refuse to comply with requests that may seem unreasonable. Replacing such things as wallpaper, curtains, sheets, a cutlery set, suite of chairs or sofa cushions may seem mystifyingly important to the lady in your life, whereas you may wish to get a further decade or two's use out of them. Accept her requirements with good grace, as it will save you trouble in the long run.
3: From time to time, treasured old articles of clothing which you have always found to be useful and comfortable will disappear.
That's it. There's no explanation or justification.
4: Suaveness may be a virtue, but jocularity trumps it most of the time. Consider Eric Idle to be your model, rather than Roger Moore.
5: Ignore all the above if necesary.

But to say that we are all a mystery could be taken as someone positioning himself to dismiss and marginalise us; to imply that our opinions and ideas don't matter because we're intrinsically inexplicable.

I don't think poor Mr. Hawking meant anything of the sort.

The most confusing thing I find with some women (not all) when given the choice of dating a nice, polite young man (me, for example) or a raging arsehole with a history of raging arseholishness and treating their girlfriends poorly, they will go with said raging arsehole who will treat them poorly leading them to moan to their friends about not being able to find a nice guy. Explain that!

Though sadly nothing in that Brief List of Five Obvious Points About Women addresses the basic question that men never never been able to get an answer to:

What do women actually want?

And that's the mystery.

It's the old joke:

Man walks into a near-empty cafe and sits at the back. He places his order and gets out his paper, settling down in the peace and quiet. After a while, the door opens and a young woman enters. She passes the only other customer: a guy sat near the entrance. The guy says 'excuse me' and whispers something in the woman's ear. She pulls back, horrified, slaps the guy across the face, and storms out of the cafe.

Intrigued, the man wanders over to the guy. "Excuse me," he says, "but can I ask what you said to that woman that upset her so much?"

The guy says, "I asked her if she'd fuck me. I ask that of every woman I meet."

"Blimey," says the man, "you must get slapped a lot."

"I do," says the guy with a smile, "but I get fucked a lot too."

Do not watch pornography online: when it comes to understanding women's sexuality, internet pornography is about as useful as a as an arctic geography textbook is for understanding multivariate calculus.

I hope JHE is not confusing Stephen Hawking with Larry Flint like what Homer Simpson did...

There's one thing still left unexplained. why is it a woman still has a headache after taking a paracetamol? lol

warmachineuk

Saying that Internet pornography teaches nothing about women is superfluous. Anyone who hasn't worked that out is a lost cause

Hang on, you mean the lesbians in the flat downstairs aren't looking for a young man to join in with their bedroom shenanigans? This is worse than the day I found out about the Easter Bunny!!!!!!

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I've found that nothing annoys a woman more than inviting them home to see your equations and then actually showing them said equations.

Brilliant.

6. Sweeping generalisations about 'women' and 'men' are lazy-minded. Women are not all the same, with the same desires and tastes. Men aren't all the same either. A woman is a person who, among other things, is a woman. A man is a person who, among other things, is a man. (And by the way, there are also people in between, and both.) All those other things are as important as gender.

So the most effective thing to say to a potential lover is, "I would like to fuck you. Would you like to fuck me?"

That depends on what effect you are trying to achieve. If what you mean by "effective" is "likely to have a woman want to have sex with me", then the most effective way to achieve that is to be attractive to her.

Of course, there's a problem there, because in order to find out what would make you attractive to a potential lover, you might actually need to listen, whereas you were only asking about talking.

Women want different things. Women are individuals, not a mass.

I have to agree. This bit in particular:

And that would be a disgrace. In future, if you are going to make a sweeping generalisation about women, try phrasing the sentence with the word "people" in place of "women". Does it make you sound daft? Maybe a little bigoted? It's OK. Few experiments work the first time.

Is just leaving itself open for the obvious 'replace women with men' line because this piece is trying to be a jolly piece about a throwaway comment by Hawking and instead it's a slightly sneery piece with a terrible punchline.

Can I add a sixth

Much like politicians arguing across the floor of the Commons women will accuse men of making all sorts of lazy generalisations towards women, while making those exact same generalisations towards men themselves

Exactly CharlieFarley.

The best way to understand women is to speak with them, drink with them and engage with them on an equal level as friends. And I don't mean that as 'engage with them on an equal level but secretly want to have sex with them'

I couldn't stand a night out without female company to be honest, and I don't mean that in any kind of pervy way. I count a high number of females amongst my friends, and a night out wouldn't be nearly as much fun without them and my better half.

Ask the women you have sex with to talk to you about it.

Perhaps it was just a little tactless to address this advice to a person in Stephen Hawking's position.

I'm sure this was an unintentional lapse, Ms Edelstein, which could be corrected by appropriate training in disability awareness.

Hmm, that was worth reading to get to the 5th point, well done Jean.

As this is such a philosophical thread, I would like to present a concept for consideration which I hope is not completely out of place:

'much like if a tree falls in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, does it make a noise... if a man says something and there is no woman around, is he still wrong?'

(also, its meant in jest for the over-zealous among us)

Though sadly nothing in that Brief List of Five Obvious Points About Women addresses the basic question that men never never been able to get an answer to:

What do women actually want?

And that's the mystery.

And when women say that men are only after one thing, they say it like it's a bad thing. What's wrong with being easy to please?

women aren't keen on men who make sweeping generalisations

writes an author whose magnum opus is based on pretty sweeping generalisations, dividing the whole human race into two categories, as if people weren't individual people first and foremost.
Some women are mysterious. Some men are mysterious. Some people are obvious. And there are all the shades in between, including physicists who make self-deprecatory jocular remarks about which one has to make a concerted, really intensive effort to take offence.

As a man who is clueless when it comes to women this helped me very little.

I've heard that women are quite good at some things.

If it is wrong for a black person to make generalised remarks about white people , and their superiority, then is it not just as wrong for a female person to write an article explaining female persons thereby establishing a generalised belief about male people, which is that they do not understand women?

So just to be clear here. It's not ok for men to make generalisations about women but it's ok for you to make massively sweeping statements about what women want?

The hypocricy is stunning.

Do not watch pornography online: when it comes to understanding women's sexuality, internet pornography is about as useful as a as an arctic geography textbook is for understanding multivariate calculus.

I'd be really grateful for a list of websites where I shouldn't watch this stuff.

As a man reading this I am having difficulty in figuring out why this was tactless advice ?
the woman is basing her comments on something that Stephen Hawking has stated he finds to be mystifying.

And this is the other icky thing about this piece. It ignores the fact that Hawking's is very seriously disabled and has been for some years, so part of Hawking said has to be taken in context of someone whose brain is trapped in a disabled body.

There's one thing still left unexplained. why is it a woman still has a headache after taking a paracetamol? lol

My local branch of Sainsbury's knows how to deal with that. The shelf by the till has wine, headache tablets, lube, and condoms - in that order.

E=MC²

( Easy life = Money/Chocolate²)

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The author assumes Hawking is leading a regular life like any able-bodied person would and hasn't been disabled and needing care for the majority of his life.

Don't you find Sainsbury's rather pricey ? lol

Ah, one of the difficult questions (that business about quarks and quantum theory is a piece of pish by comparison).

My 2 cents are as follows:
Cent 1: Many women see a unreliable/slovenly/boorish man as a challenge. "I'll fix him, I'll make a man of him" they say. In many cases, they subsequently end up realising that they have bitten off more than they can chew (please do not interpret this literally).
Cent 2: Whether through having been raised in an atmosphere of chauvinism, female submissiveness, or even active violent misogyny, many women appear to cling to the notion that said unreliable slovenly boor is somehow a "Real Man". I have female friends and even relatives who are actively displeased when I go to help with the washing-up or chop vegetables. Apparently I should just sit in front of the TV eating snack food instead...

With 2 failed marriages behind him - one (reportedly) with an abusive wife - it's hardly surprising he's confused !!

"From time to time, treasured old articles of clothing which you have always found to be useful and comfortable will disappear.
That's it. There's no explanation or justification. "

There is both an explanation and a justification..
Explanation
that which you deem treasured and comfortable is likely to be threadbare, holey, washed out, stained, shrunken and mishapen.. In a word, an ancient rag.. that you insist on wearing to the mortification of your missus who knows most tramps wouldn't even wear it.
Justification
to stop you wearing the rotten rag...

Very good piece! Witty, clever and spot on!

Only: women like to argue too!

Thunderchild hasn't canged his records for a year?!!! That is so ..., I'm lost for words...

Jesus, if Stephen Hawking can't understand women, then I've got bleeding no chance.