Before They Get Stale: Wyatt Cenac, Craig Robinson and Eugene Mirman

Dave Hill talks to Wyatt Cenac about John Oliver’s douchebaggery. What are they talking about? I met him and he’s a lovely person. (I don’t understand sarcasm! Get it?) [New York Magazine]

All the Arrested Development guys are talking to the Fox Searchlight guys instead of doing what they are supposed to be doing, just making the fucking movie already! [Entertainment Weekly]

This new trailer answers the question, How’s How’s Your News shaping up? It’s shaping up more Sarah Silvermany and John Stamosy, that’s how. [MTV]

If Matt McCarthy wins the Doritos Crash The Super Bowl contest and wins a million dollars, I’m taking all the credit. [Gothamist]

Chicago taught Craig Robinson, if someone doesn’t laugh, “its OK to slap them.” [APP]

In his new DVD, Years of Refusal, Morrissey will “Wrestle with Russell” Brand. But not literally, because Morrissey is still busy pretending he’s asexual. [Pitchfork]

Emily Blunt and Jason Segal set to star alongside Jack Black in Gulliver’s Travels. No word yet on whether Segal’s penis will return to the screen to play a lilliputian. [Entertainment Weekly]

ABC’s Nightline just discovered that comedians can mine comedy from the poor economy. [ABC News via Comic's Comic]

Eugene Mirman to all companies associating him with their brand: you’ve just made one bold dick swallowing move. [Eugene Mirman]

After the jump, I post a video we wanted to post during the day, but ran out of time BECAUSE WE HAVE LIVES DAMMIT!

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Dr. House Beats Me at Everything

I was born in Darien, Connecticut, a town founded in 1641 by the Puritan Lemonade Appreciation Society and Yacht Club. My great-great-great-great-grandmother was the first non-Native American woman born in Wisconsin. Her brother was a Civil War general. Some members of my family also are Jews. And yet, my American accent is still not as good as Hugh Laurie’s. And now I find out that neither, apparently, is my comedy.

A continent, a generation and a genre away, the roots of Dr. Gregory House lie in the voice of a fake pop singer and his power ballad, “I don’t care if people laugh — I’m in love with Steffi Graf.”

It was the late ’80s-early ’90s in England, a time and place in which you could find a ridiculously buttoned-up Hugh Laurie railing at partner Stephen Fry’s school principal: “Sexual intercourse can bring about pregnancy in the adult female? It’s nothing more than a disgusting rumor put out by trendy young people in the ’60s.”

I would like nothing more than to go back in time and punch this version of Hugh Laurie. If I did, though, I’m positive I’d find out that he had already built a better time machine, gone back in time to 1985, become my father, then gone forward in time to March 2009, just in time to refuse to help me do my taxes.

The Daily Show's Best Football Moments

I was going to put together a collection of The Daily Show’s best puppy moments, but I figured everyone is probably tired of being inundated with the constant Puppy Bowl-related content this week, so I decided to see what else is going on. Did you realize there’s a professional American-style football game this weekend? It’s true! On the same day as Puppy Bowl no less. So, with that in mind, here are The Daily Show’s best football moments:

Ben Karlin Talks About Wonder Glen

If you haven’t seen Wonder Glen yet, where have you been, under a rock? How do you get the internet under your rock, by the way? Is it a wi-fi enabled rock or are you still using dial-up where you live under your rock?

Wonder Glen is a masterful parody of a reality television production company’s site. It includes sample work, sizzle reels, as well as memos, insurance forms, and more. It’s amazingly thorough and downright exhausting to explore (Ugh! Exploring hilarious web sites is so exhausting. I need a vacation!)

We’ve all known for awhile now that Wonder Glen was the brainchild of Ben Karlin, former senior editor of The Onion and executive producer of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, but now he speaks up about his intentions in creating the innovative satirical site as well as it’s future…

It’s definitely either a terrible idea, or so ahead of its time that it might take several generations to appreciate it… It started with the simple idea that I was going to be doing stuff for HBO, and I wanted to do some stuff for the Web as well. I thought, well, what if I took some of the TV stuff I was developing and created this intranet site… so [LA executives] could see samples of what I was working on… A development platform, basically…

The thing that it started out for, to show HBO our work, ended up getting scrapped, and we said ‘Let’s do a comedy site, and maybe some of this stuff we do will have a life in some capacity…’ the conversation about having it function as an actual platform for actual people kind of went away.

To read the rest of the interview, click here.

To read my rant and rave about the interview, Wonder Glen, and about the internet, please follow after the jump.

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Meet Demetri Martin and John Oliver at the SoHo Apple Store

If you’re a New Yorker who loves hilarious TV people, eating your weight in pierogi and shiny expensive wondergadgets, then prepare to have the greatest day of your life, as long as you do the pierogi thing on your own time and at your own expense. Seriously, keep that at home, weirdo.

For more information, visit the SoHo Apple Store website.

Anti-Gay Marriage Initiative Funders Being Unfairly Forced to Accept Responsibility for Their Actions

From Indecision…

Jeffrey Tambor Breaks Out the Grandpa Stick on Michael Cera

Beloved young comic actor Michael Cera has expressed ambivalence about the rumored Arrested Development movie to the point that some fans are wondering if he could single-handedly strangle the project in its crib. Enter George Michael Bluth’s television grandfather Jeffrey Tambor, who name-checked the holdout with the following:

“If I have to call him up and say, ‘Get on set right now, young man,’ he’ll be there . . . The movie is going to happen this year, and Michael Cera is on board. Trust me.”

Tambor’s delivered the humor and had steady work since the mid-70’s. You don’t have that kind of Hollywood longevity without learning some deadly survival skills. So, Mike, unless this is another one of your straight-faced pranks, don’t make PeePaw come after you.

Jon Stewart Prepares Conan O'Brien for LA

Just like I told you yesterday, Jon Stewart was on Late Night with Conan O’Brien last night. I don’t know why you didn’t believe me. Christ, what do I have to do to earn an ounce of your trust?

Anyway, as expected, it was great and hilarious.

The other guests were Mary Lynn Rajskub and Mike Birbiglia, so it was like comedy night on the show. Although, I guess even when the guests are Desmond Tutu and Slipknot it’s comedy night on Conan on account of it’s a comedy show. But, you know, I like typing words.

Patton Oswalt Outed As Neill Cumpston

For years, Ain’t It Cool News has featured occassional movie reviews by someone named Neill Cumpston. If you’ve ever read them, you know they’re perhaps the greatest film analyses ever composed. And if you haven’t had the pleasure, you need to rectify that toot sweet. Here’s a shot glassful out of the ocean of Cumpston:

Jim-Jammity Jesus Krispy Kreme Christ on a twat-rocket, this movie blew me apart and put me back together only after I’d got put back I felt like I had thirteen dicks and they’d all gotten blown by a surfer chick with 26 heads (2 mouths on each cock). I will see it ten times and if I see Star Wars George or that gay Batman director butt-hole any time during the ten screenings here comes Mr. Punch.

This is the sequel to the MATRIX Movie that came out four years ago and after seeing it I can say I could have waited another four years it is that fucking good. This movie is a pillowcase with soda cans inside that beats the living mule-fuck out of you but you’re all like, “Bring it on honky tonk” because the beating feels like summer and Halloween and Cheetos at the same time. This movie is Mad Max’s shotgun-gun from ROAD WARRIOR, only it shoots ass-kicking only at jocks. This movie is tits!

Amazing, right? Yes.

Well, it’s long been rumored that Neill Cumpston is actually a pen name of Patton Oswalt, and in a recent interview with Peter Travers of Rolling Stone, Patton admitted–in what seemed like an off-the-record moment–that he was indeed Cumpston. But Travers printed it, once and for all lifting the veil off of God’s gift to cinephilia.

We wondered what Patton thinks of being exposed. So we asked him.

–Did you mean for that to be on the record?

::  Nope!   I don’t think he heard the whole, “Just between you and me…” part.

–How do you feel about it being out there?

::  Someone would have figured out.   I’m flattered Rolling Stone broke it.

Scandalous! Can I have my Pulitzer now?

Again, if you haven’t read the entire Cumpston canon, clear your schedule and click here now.

Jon Stewart's Senate Confirmation Hearings Roast

If you’ve been loving the Senate confirmation hearings, but thought they could use a touch of insult comedy, you very well might be Jon Stewart. Last night he did his best Jeffrey Ross and roasted the participants.

Ooh, let me try. Um… Have you folks seen Barbara Boxer lately? Jesus, I wouldn’t bang her with Kay Bailey Hutchison’s dick!

Orrin Hatch is here tonight. Love that guy. Such a poon hound. I’m serious. Orrin has screwed more people than the collapse of mortgage backed securities and collateralized debt obligations! Am I right?