LIFE/TRAVEL

03/12/2010

Find an ally in the struggle over gender roles

03/11/2010

She's bitter over friend's about-face
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

03/10/2010

He may move out and come back, but don't bet on it
Dear Carolyn: I've been dating my boyfriend for 5 ½ years now, and we've been living together for most of that. He moved across the country to be with me, and a year ago I returned the favor. I realized I had been taking some frustrations out on him lately, so I wrote him a letter apologizing and telling him I'd be more supportive.

03/08/2010

Six-year-old doesn't want to be around her dad
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

03/07/2010

How to tell kids about another family's divorce
Dear Carolyn: Recently, friends of ours announced they were getting divorced. The two families get together often. Obviously with a divorce is going to come separation of the parents, and the children will be shuttled back and forth. How do we deal with this as friends of theirs, and how do we discuss this with our children? What do we do if the children are here and bring it up? How do we talk to them in a reassuring manner?

03/06/2010

Little sister's new tattoo is awful - big
Dear Carolyn: Please help me figure out what to say to my sister, who got a tattoo yesterday. I have two myself, so I have no problem with tattoos. However, hers is huge . Big-black-lettering-on-her-back huge. I think it's awful, but she loves it and keeps asking, "Isn't it great? Dontcha love it?" My only response thus far is "Wow, it's bigger than I imagined." Wowville

03/04/2010

Husband's controlling ways call for counseling
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

03/03/2010

My boyfriend's life is all about the job
Dear Carolyn: Recently, my boyfriend started a new job. We've been dating for over five years and live together. The job is exciting and in a field he's interested in, and the company is very young with tons of people our age (mid-20s) all working together in a very creative and collaborative environment. They go out to bars, drink in the office sometimes, and go on trips together for bonding that spouses and partners aren't invited to. Also, he is expected to work late almost every day.

03/02/2010

Should I tell his mom that my ex cheated on me?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

03/01/2010

Grandma left her money to my mom, darn it
Dear Carolyn: My grandmother recently passed away and left a decent size inheritance to my mom, who was her only child and had been her guardian for the last 10-plus years of her life. My siblings and I had the fortune of living near my grandmother during her later years and included her in family get-togethers.

02/28/2010

Ex-wife says it's selfish of me to want more kids with new wife
Hi, Carolyn: I'm a 37-year-old dad to two kids, recently remarried. Before I met my current wife, I had no desire for more kids. I have 40 percent custody of the kids, and I love being a parent.

02/27/2010

Should she try to mend fence with mother-in-law?
Dear Carolyn: I just sent out invitations for my son's second birthday. My mother-in-law responded that she was happy to receive an invitation considering she was not invited to his first birthday party.

02/26/2010

Be honest about marriage plans
Dear Carolyn: Two of my girlfriend's best friends are getting married this year. I know this shouldn't have anything to do with us, but she has mentioned feeling self-conscious because we've been dating for longer than these couples.

02/25/2010

Does friend's latest relationship drama require a fake smile from me?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/24/2010

Encourage family to take more interest in neglected brother
Dear Carolyn: My wife has five siblings, one of whom has developmental delays. We are in our 50s and 60s. In June 2008, I was asked to assist in obtaining benefits for one of the siblings (paperwork isn't this family's forte). In the process, I became friends with my brother-in-law.

02/23/2010

More screaming over spilt water
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/22/2010

Is angry hubby fit to be a father?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/21/2010

How can I protect my baby girl's self-image?
Dear Carolyn: My mother-in-law pats my daughter's belly after dinner and says, "That's disgusting! Look at that round belly! How horrible!" She's kind of joking, but I don't like it. My daughter is 1, but I still don't like it. And other female relatives have said mother-in-law's comments had a big effect on them. She's in her late 70s – I don't think she's going to change much. So how do I counter the comments, brush them off, drown her out?

02/20/2010

Can he ever trust cheating girlfriend?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/19/2010

Friend, a father-to-be, might need a knock on the forehead
Dear Carolyn: My friend and his wife are expecting – and separating. The cause of the separation seems to be (significant) "stress of pregnancy" issues that I believe are temporary. But I think their behavior now, and their hurt, may prevent their reconciling after the kid is born.

02/18/2010

She's hesitant to head to the altar, but boyfriend's raring to go
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/17/2010

Lots of my exes stay in touch. What do I tell the current girlfriend?

02/16/2010

Her road to love may require tearing down some defenses

02/15/2010

How to cope with a parent having debilitating cancer

02/14/2010

Did I make a mistake by not breaking a commitment?
Dear Carolyn: I've had two dates with a great guy who has expressed to me that he is very interested in me. On Wednesday, after a dinner date, he asked me to do something this weekend. I said I'd love to, and mentioned I had a friend's birthday dinner, on Saturday night. He said he'd call me.

02/13/2010

The horror! My daughter's been invited to a princess party
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/12/2010

You can stop the cycle of negative thinking
Dear Carolyn: I'm a sophomore in college. I'm trying to break the pattern that I've been in since I started college, of settling into a comfort zone and never leaving to try anything or meet anyone new.

02/11/2010

Treat your 13-year-old's coming out with support, love
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/10/2010

I'm terrified by my wife's pregnancy
Dear Carolyn: We recently found out that my wife is pregnant. It will be our first child. This is usually joyous news, and while I'm elated, I'm also terrified. This is her third pregnancy; the last two ended in miscarriage. Both times, we were devastated, and while it's unspoken, I think this is our last shot at it. We're both in our late 30s and have been at it now for more than two years.

02/09/2010

Bringing up baby without losing your minds
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/08/2010

My older boyfriend gets mistaken for my father
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/07/2010

Young couple wants to make over Grandma
Dear Carolyn: My wife shares my views of the extreme difficulty, on a few fronts, of her mother's extended visits to our home. My wife is amenable to discussions with her mom, but fears we may be expecting too much from her – a 60-year-old woman whom we both agree is a very unusual combination of neutral congeniality and stone-quiet stoicism.

02/06/2010

Husband, family won't discuss mysterious sister

02/05/2010

Why did my daughter split up with a terrific guy?
Dear Carolyn: My 25-year-old daughter met a guy about a year ago. He's the perfect partner for her. She told me that he is the one and that she loves him so much. My whole family welcomed him as one of our own. They did everything together, even adopted a dog. They moved in together two months ago.

02/04/2010

How should she apologize to a relative she dislikes?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/03/2010

Treating women as equals doesn't mean you turn your back on common courtesy
Hi, Carolyn: I am 29 and single. I have a very strong mother, who raised me to treat women with respect. I was taught women are strong, intelligent and independent. And that women don't need any special treatment.

02/02/2010

How do you deal with spousal bullying?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/01/2010

How can I talk my teen out of having sex?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/31/2010

Daughters' study habits drive her bananas
Dear Carolyn: I am a mother of two teenage girls, 16 and 13. They are both bright. Both of them, however, have a habit that drives me completely out of my mind. Neither one of them studies for exams properly. My older daughter types exchanges on Facebook, while glancing at her textbook from time to time. For the younger one, substitute "watches television" for "types exchanges on Facebook."

01/30/2010

How important is intimacy?
Hi, Carolyn: I just ended an eight-month relationship with a wonderful guy who was kind and fun, because we lacked that strong connection that allows people to talk and laugh together with ease.

01/29/2010

Is dad overstepping bounds in pointing out daughter's weight?

01/28/2010

Fiancé is troubled by her past, which indicates trouble for their future
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/27/2010

Let husband tell his parents: No kids for this couple
Dear Carolyn: I do not want kids, and my fiancé is fine with that. My parents know this (and have had decades to manage their disappointment) but my future in-laws do not. Are we supposed to tell them? They are lovely, nonpushy people, but I know that eventually they will not be able to stop themselves from asking. Is it better to say something before the wedding? What do we say that doesn't sound crushing? Virginia

01/26/2010

Get at the heart of in-laws' negative messages
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/25/2010

How do I help a friend say 'No'?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/24/2010

She feels like a hypocrite if she stays with cheating husband
Hi, Carolyn: I've always considered myself an independent person. I am a married, full-time working mother of two young children, so I've got my hands full, but I've always prided myself on striking a balance between work and family.

01/23/2010

Boyfriend is bored around her friends, family
Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend is super blah around my friends and family, but turns up the charm around his groups. People say he seems unengaged – I got this from my mom, sister and two of my good friends. I chalked it up to nerves at first, but we're going on two years now, and when I ask, he just says relationships need to happen naturally.

01/22/2010

Is it too soon for her to bring up the L word?
Hi, Carolyn: I am 27 and have been in a relationship for about eight months now. I want to tell my boyfriend that I love him, but I am nervous because neither of us has said it yet, and I've never said it to anyone. Should I just go for it, or is there a good reason for me to hold off? Boston

01/21/2010

Boyfriend says, engagement ring isn't a gift
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/20/2010

Christmas-gift ingrate needs to make amends
Hi, Carolyn: Each year for Christmas, my parents usually get each child and married couple a substantial gift, and small presents for any grandchildren. We live across the country from them right now, and when my mom called to ask us what we might want, I had a hard time coming up with anything particularly gift-able.

01/19/2010

Soothing a ruffled M.I.L.'s feelings
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/18/2010

My wife's fears are messing up our kids

01/17/2010

Jealous grandparents playing tug of war over grandchild
Dear Carolyn: My husband and I live an hour from our families, and each lives in a different town. We try hard to spend equal time with each. Yet we are trapped in a constant tug of war between his parents and mine, and between my mother and father, who are divorced.

01/16/2010

How do I dodge calling my M.I.L. Mom?

01/15/2010

Bedbugs not the only things biting at Thanksgiving
Dear Carolyn: Both of our sons came home for Thanksgiving with their families. We put up our older son and his family in a hotel and had our younger son, his new (second) wife and their 5-month-old baby stay in our basement guest room.

01/14/2010

Guys freak out when they see my scars
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/13/2010

She's mad that her husband turns up his nose at decent job offer
Dear Carolyn: My husband has been offered a job (hurray!) with a decent salary, but he doesn't want it. I'm trying to be sympathetic: It is a step down, the boss is a bit nuts, and it really doesn't capitalize on his incredible skills (Ph.D. plus years of cutting-edge research). He's awfully bummed this is his only option and feels like he's letting everyone down who supported him in his career. He's considering not taking the job.

01/12/2010

'I'm afraid I'm going to be unhappy'
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

RSS

SMS Alerts

Newsletters

FIND IT

MOST POPULAR