Johnny Bench: On Drugs Or Just Old And Batty?

The Score did an interview with the former Reds catcher and, for the first minute, he appears disoriented in a way that's unbecoming of Hall Of Fame catcher, but thoroughly enjoyable for those of us who enjoy people babbling aimlessly. More »

Tailpipe: "She Looked As Sexy As Hell"

We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale. More »

Vicodin, A Golf Cart, And Withheld Evidence: New Details From Tiger's Thanksgving Night

New investigation records were released today regarding Tiger Woods's Escalade crash, and there's more than enough fodder in there for conspiracy theorists. More »

American Legal System Officially Invested In Brett Favre's Status

In the middle of the StarCaps trial, the plaintiffs' attorney asked Brad Childress — under oath — who the Vikings quarterback will be. Sixth Amendment be damned, Favre's will-he-won't-he game is anything but a speedy trial. [Star Tribune]

Would You Let This Dude Be Your Rent-a-Dad?

The Gunderson kids did. Find out why on the series premiere of Sons of Tucson, this Sunday, March 14 at 9:30/8:30c on Fox. Trailer at the end of the delightful Ron Snuffkin gallery below. More »

Introducing Poopgirl: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum

We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies. More »
#nhl

Yup, That's Some Blackface At A Hockey Game

Got a highly touted prospect in the minors, and you want to show the world you're a fan? You could wear his jersey. Or, if you're in Quebec, you could break out the shoe polish and afro wigs. More »

Let Us Now Savor The Bitter Tears Of Michigan Fans

Current thread titles at MGoBlog's message board: "God Hates Us," "Michigan Hating God," and "At what point do I poke myself in the eye with a stick," which is about the football team. [MGoBlog, h/t BML]

Confusing Ad Deemed Too Sexy For Colts Fans

To protect Indianapolis's youngest football fans from being forcibly shoved through puberty by deodorant marketing, the city has rejected an ad that would have gone up in Lucas Oil Stadium. More »

Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite

Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?

Evan Turner Shuts Up Steve Lavin With 40-Foot Buzzer Beater

Things were looking good for the Michigan basketball team. Up two, two seconds left in the game; it was in the bag. Steve Lavin said it was the perfect example of why the conference tournaments are so great. More »

Fun With Anal Beads! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure

Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase six heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. More »

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific

Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press]

Big East Tournament Brings Out Gross Married Guys And Men Urinating In Bank Vestibules

Yes, the word "douchebags" has been overused at this point, but it is still fascinating to watch them in their natural element, especially when mixed with the toxic combo of booze, attractive correspondents and a television camera.

Women's Football Leagues Justify Their Existence

The hiring of a female coach for a boys' HS football team does more to legitimize women's football (yes, even lingerie football) than a thousand Katie Hnidas. More »

Mengke Bateer's Second Career Only Slightly More Absurd Than His First

If you picked one name you never thought you'd hear again, 90 percent of you would say Mengke Bateer. A short-lived NBA career has given way to an acting career. By "acting" we of course mean murder with coconuts.

San Diego Padres: The Fleeing Padre

Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: San Diego Padres. More »

Quite Frankly, NBA Players Pissed About Stephen A. Smith's Journalism

Regarding this column, ESPN's "NBA Player X" writes: "One of my NBA friends in Philly says a bunch of Sixers can't wait for Stephen A. to show up in their locker room so they can have words with him." [ESPN]
#wakeupdeadspin

You Put Baylor Fans In Kansas City, You're Gonna Get A Mustache

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Cleveland's Lebron Tests Positive For Horse Steroids

Sure, it's an Indians' minor league catcher named Steven Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Plain Dealer]
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