DALLAS MOMS

Few parents read their children the original Brothers Grimm tales these days, which may be a good thing. Take Hansel & Gretel -- a story of children abandoned by their parents and preyed on by a cannibal witch. Rough stuff! Fortunately, the Kathy Burks Theatre of Puppetry Arts company softens the original with a preschool-friendly tale of a loving family that gets separated when the children get lost looking for berries in the forest. I wrote my weekly KidBeat story about the real-life brother and sister (Kathy Burks' children and longtime puppeteers Douglass Burks and Becky Burks Keenan) here.

I also heard some fascinating thoughts by Heather Carlile, a licensed professional marriage and family counselor, who will talk about "Joys and Challenges of Childhood Fairytales" as part of a free Spiritual Parenting Series at the Center for Spiritual Living Sunday. It starts at 12:45 with a potluck lunch, followed by Heather's presentation. Get the details at www.csldallas.org (free childcare provided). Check out what Heather has to say here:

Got teens who are looking for service hours? Or do you want an opportunity to volunteer as a family? The St. Paddy's Day Dash Down Greenville, hosted by Run On! and the North Texas Food Bank, is seeking volunteers 16 and older for March 13. It should be fun, too -- they promote it as "the craziest and best 5K foot race to hit Dallas." Plus breakfast and a T-Shirt will be provided. If you do it, be sure to report back and send pictures!

Volunteers will be needed from 5:30 to 11:30 a.m. on race day; it all kicks off at Central Market. Contact Sophia Sindalovsky at sophia@ntfb.org or Paige Phelps at Paigep@ntfb.org by Tuesday, March 9 to confirm your participation.

My husband and I love to go deep sea fishing in Key West. We had always wanted to take the kids who love to fish also. We decided that we would take them the day after Thanksgiving for a three-day trip. We were going to fly into Miami and drive to Key West, we should have gotten into the hotel around 6:00 p.m., which was good since we had to be on the boat at 7:00 the next morning. In Miami we got the pleasure of standing in line for the rental car for two hours after our flight had been delayed two hours. I knew it was going to be a long night and early morning.

Have you ever had to stifle a laugh or snicker, when your little one said something profound? At the last get-together of the Dallas Mom Bloggers, I recall LaDawn enlightening us about her "gutsy" two-year old daughter, who seems to have a mind of her own. When her daughter didn't get her way at breakfast one morning, LaDawn reported that she had to look away to keep from bursting out in laughter. It seems her daughter looked and sounded too cute, expressing her feelings of dissatisfaction for the decision made by her mother.

As LaDawn told her family story, I went back to yesteryear, remembering when my daughter did the same thing. I never wanted to laugh at her, even when she was so cute with her little curls bouncing in time to her defiance. I also remembered not to laugh when she expressed her views, but sounded so much like us - her mom and dad.

Yes, ladies, I DID meet Dr. Mehmet Oz, star of the Dr. Oz show (9 a.m. and 7 p.m. weekdays on KFWD-TV Channel 52), in person for my interview that ran in today's DMN here. He had flown into Dallas to play in the NBA All-Stars celebrity game. So, was he as nice in person as he is on T.V.? In a word -- yes. And then some. He talked a lot about his love for his wife, Lisa, and their four kids and his passion for getting people healthier (so fewer will end up on his operating room needing open heart surgery before their time).

He talked about the importance of listening because kids aren't always receptive to us "fixing" their problems (and parent-to-parent, I have to agree). But sometimes if we listen, we get a better sense of what it is they need us to do. That's what Dr. Oz does. And he was thrilled to discover that even when he didn't think his oldest, Daphne, was listening to all his great advice, she was internalizing it in her own way. Which is why she came out with her own book for college students wanting to keep fit, The Dorm Room Diet, while she was still an undergraduate at Princeton University.

So, did the best-selling author help with his daughter's book? "She told me not to. She said I'd just ruin it," he said and laughed, noting that parents who step back can also learn a lot from their kids.

Why do you think playgroups matter...or don't? Are they more important for moms or children? Do they help moms relax while kids play together or do they induce stress as moms try to be perfect parents of well-behaved children?

It's probably a mix of all of the above, but I think it's typically a beneficial aspect for both parents and kids. As an active stay-at-home mom of two-year-old triplets, I belong to several playgroups and consider it an important part of my children's and my schedule. We meet just frequently enough that it isn't overwhelming to our schedules, but still keeps us connected as a group.

PHOTO: Madison, Payson and Hayden (all far right) enjoy lunch at a playdate with three sets of twins

Most women are concerned more about how their legs and butt look than any other body part. When we turn around and ask our significant other if we look fat in something, we really mean, 'Does my butt look fat?'. With that in mind I wanted to share an exercise program for legs and butt that is killer, yet doable.

Each exercise requires nothing more than your body as weight. Be careful not to underestimate the intensity. You will be sore as you begin doing the workout but the pain subsides as the legs tone up and the glutes tighten. Do each exercise for 1 minute, unless otherwise noted.

For all who think the writing life is glamorous, Frisco mom Bettina Restrepo has a story to share. As the author of Moose and Magpie, Bettina has been impressing a lot of kids, but her five-year-old, Allen, has proved a tough sell. Check out her story and visit Bettina when she reads and signs her book at Barnes & Noble at Stonebriar Centre, in Frisco Saturday at 2 p.m.:

I'm not impressed by you - says my son.

Last year, my first picture book was published. It made me an instant celebrity with children when I visited several elementary schools and book stores. But my son, Allen, is not impressed with me. Recently, a small fiasco happened as I was getting ready to leave for a storytime.

"Are you going to another book party?" asks Allen. "AGAIN?"

PHOTO: Bettina and Allen

Living with a child with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is a challenge, to say the very least. "Simple" things like going out for dinner, attending a fundraiser at your child's school or taking a family outing to the zoo or a museum requires a great deal of planning and endless patience. Countless times my husband and I have left such events and/or outings feeling frustrated, tired and even insufficient as Ethan's parents. Just this past weekend, my husband left the annual PTA fundraiser at Ethan's school feeling deflated and frustrated after Ethan became over-excited and had difficulty following directions (while I was busy volunteering in another part of the event). Ethan lives with Asperger's Syndrome (which is categorized as an ASD) and Sensory Processing Disorder. We know that when Ethan becomes over-stimulated he sometimes "bothers" other people at events. As such, we work very hard to teach him to get personal satisfaction from activities without infringing on other's enjoyment; but, quite frankly, it can be downright exhausting and dispiriting.

PHOTO: Leigh and her family are looking forward to going to the Dallas Museum of Art,for their free Autism Awareness Day Family Celebration

Have you ever noticed that the foods you eat affect your body, brain and emotions? Some foods that we eat can make us feel lathargic, while other foods can give our bodies long-lasting energy, help our minds stay focused, and help us feel great. Just like gasoline is fuel for our automobiles, food is fuel to our mind, body and soul. If you fill up your non-diesel car with diesel fuel, you will end up with a damaged engine. Similarly, if we deprive our bodies and brains of meals and snacks that are rich in vitamins and minerals, we will eventually break down.

Choosing the right kind of fuel for our bodies doesn't have to cost a fortune. In fact, choosing foods that are high in nutrients will boost your physical, mental and emotional health and, thus, save you money in the long run. Good nutrition means fewer visits to the doctor and less time off from work and school. Good nutrition also helps you feel energetic and results in a better quality of life for you and your family.

For a story on brain health that ran on the cover of the Dallas Morning News Healthy Living section today, I stretched my brain by exploring what the brain does, how it does it and how it can do it better. On a visit to the UT Dallas Center for BrainHealth, I learned about neuroplasticity -- the amazing ability of the brain to heal itself and grow at all ages. I watched a program where avatars are used to help children with high functioning autism build emotional cognitive skils by working out on screen scenarios with potential friends and bullies. I marveled at how everyone, from kids to aging adults, can boost their brain function. And I had a sobering, yet exhilarating test of my own brain fitness (which BrainCenter founder Sandra Chapman likes to refer to as a "neck-up check-up), testing my memory, my ability to analyze and identify themes and to find patterns. You can read all about it here. And it got me thinking: Wouldn't it be cool if we had brain fitness rooms in our recreation centers? It certainly left me eager and primed for another work-out!

PHOTO: Scott Hayner having a brain fitness exam at the UT Dallas Center for BrainHealth, photo by Brad Loper, DMN

What do you do when your kid wants to quit an activity after you have invested a good bit of time, not to mention a good bit of money?

We have experienced our kids being both committed to an activity and losing interest in an activity.

My son began taking guitar lessons at Zounds Sounds in the 5th grade. He's in the seventh grade still playing the electric guitar and has added trumpet and the banjo to his repertoire. He has a natural passion for music and loves to play. He does not need to be forced. His guitar teacher and his band teachers at school are finding the right ways to motivate him while still helping it be a fun experience. It is the perfect equation of interest, talent, and commitment.

My daughter, whose latest interests include her musical dance class, reading, and fashion design, took piano - for a while. Practicing became a chore. She wanted to quit. I have learned to trust my wife's instincts. When we use our instincts together, we make the best decisions. I was torn though about whether to let my daughter stop piano, What lesson does it send if we let her quit? What if she does have a natural talent and just needs to learn to work at it?

OK, sometimes it isn't necessarily a good dream, more like a nightmare, but overall, my decision to opt out of traditional 9 to 5 employment has been a good one for our family. Once my husband opened a restaurant of his own, and our family grew, it became more difficult to manage our family responsibilities when I worked for someone else and they determined my schedule.
My first year of not working outside of the home, I kind of coasted along, doing the all-mommy-thing -- park, library story times, play dates etc. I did nothing personally or professionally for myself even though I had visions (more like delusions) of working from home. Left to my own devices, I lurched around in fits and starts, taking odd freelance writing jobs but not much more.

I recently read the book One and the Same: My Life as an Identical Twin and What I've Learned About Everyone's Struggle to Be Singular by Abigail Pogrebin. I always have my eye out for books that will help me understand what is like to be a part of a pair and so when I saw this book advertised in a Twin Club newsletter, I downloaded it to my Kindle on a whim. I'm glad I didn't have much going on that week because I could not put the book down. It made me laugh, it made me cry, it made me feel like I was getting to know the future Maddie and Izzie better.
Throughout the book Abigail is interviewing other twins in a search to learn more about herself and her relationship with her identical sister. The stories will both warm you and sometimes make you sad. I learned so much from reading her book. For example, do not idealize and romanticize the twinship of my girls. It is a special, unique bond, but it isn't always perfect and it shouldn't be. I highly recommend this book to all parents of multiples, or actually anyone who is in any kind of relationship with a multiple.

I was lucky enough to get the chance to ask Abigail a few questions that I would like to share here with you.

I received an e-mail from family a few weeks ago with a story written by my cousin about his two-week journey to Haiti. My cousin is a doctor, and a hero already to many of his hometown of Easton, MA including his wife and five boys...but now he is a hero to many, many more as he was called on a spiritual journey to help the sick and injured people of Haiti. While he spent time working in Haiti, he also went to find a girl his family has been sponsoring to be sure she and her family were all right. I wanted to share his story with you today because it touched my heart. This world may be full of darkness, but there is gold in the details if you look (closely) and listen (carefully)~magically your world will brighten, and you will see greatness. I am proud to know Geoff and I am inspired by his story.

A smile will almost always make a positive improvement to both the love and work that you have in your life. "Love and work... work and love, that's all there is. " According to Sigmund Freud, only two necessities exist for a worthy life - to love and to work. Who knows this better than working couples with children? I think Freud was right as long as both love and work have lots of smiles! A foot rub from my husband at the end of the day can make me smile inside and out and give me the will to do it all again tomorrow. The relationships we have with our friends and family have a far greater impact on our happiness than our jobs do. They are the instigators of our smiles, the sun shining through!

We all need money to support our basic needs, but our happiness is not significantly affected by how much money we make; it is affected by our level of optimism. The Pollyanna in me is optimistic and smiles because I know my attitude can make my day! Being compassionate in all the things we do every day can give us peace of mind and solve a lot of problems simply by realizing that our problems have valuable lessons. Love is always the best solution. If we choose to give positive energy and smile then I think we can become immune to the ups and downs of life and so can those around us.

Photos: Ashley with her daughter Zooey and son Quincy.

Hansel and Gretel can be a tricky fairy tale for kids -- parents abandoning their children in the woods and a wicked witch that tries to kill them and must be killed in turn. As I said -- rough stuff! Fortunately the Kathy Burks Theatre of Puppetry Arts production at the Dallas Children's Theater tinkers with the Grimm tale. Their Hansel and Gretel is from a loving family. They get lost when they go out to pick berries. And they "soften" the witch's demise by baking her into a giant cookie.

I saw it with a packed crowd of kids at the Saturday 1:30 p.m. show, including my nephew and niece, three-year-old Ross and five-year-old Emma. Every child I talked to was pretty thrilled at seeing the puppets float across the dark stage as if alive. I thought the witch would scare toddlers like Ross. But Ross ran up to the witch puppet at the meet and greet the puppeteers have after each show and told her, "I love you" as he reached out to touch her green face (is this kid going to love Wicked one day, or not?). Read on for what the other kids had to say:

PHOTO: Cousins Jett Lane, 6, of Frisco and Caleb Woodfin, 8, of Murphy with the witch and goose puppets and puppeteers Becky Keenan and her mom Kathy Burks

After my jab last week at the ugly underbelly of motherhood- which by the way, is also what you call that dangling kangaroo pouch you get once post-pregnancy deflation sets in- it is only fair that I balanced things out. After all, as mothers, if we know anything, it's that life is fair, right?

Ha! Of course not. Did you miss that whole kangaroo comparison?

Anyway, throughout this journey I have discovered tiny bits of joy in the oddest places; kind of like that wonderfully warm Skittle you find wedged beneath your underwire right at 3 o'clock when you need it the most. Luckily, motherhood comes with many tiny pick me ups as well, sometimes just enough to get us through to the next day, but often times it's exactly what we need.

Here are a few examples of where I find tiny bits of joy in all the wrong places...

Deb Silverthorn, a Plano mother of three, loves celebrating Purim. She shares what it means to her along with her yummy hamentashen recipe.

Flour on the faces, hands, shirts, and all-over-everywhere is the key to the giggles that bring Purim memories. My children sitting around the kitchen table, with their friends and our dear friend Lola, cutting circles of dough and filling them with chocolate chips (for themselves), raspberry jam (for their Mommy), and poppy seed filling (for their Daddy), are at the heart of the Jewish holiday of Purim, celebrated tonight and tomorrow.

Haman be darned, he tried, like many have to off the Jews - tonight we remember him, and his fortunate failure, as we enjoy the sweet taste of Purim, of survival, of future. On this holiday, we enjoy Hamantaschen cookie-like treats in the shape of a triangle - the shape of the villian's hat. Purim, which is celebrated every year on the 14th of the Hebrew month of Adar, commemorates the salvation of the Jewish people in Ancient Persia from Haman's plot "to destroy, kill and annihilate all the Jews, young and old, infants and women, in a single day." (for more, see www.chabad.org)

PHOTO: Deb's Yavneh Purim collage

Right before the holidays this year, my niece, Sydney, suggested I come to her reading class at Williams Middle School in Rockwall for an author visit; I quickly agreed. Sydney's teacher, Terri Bates, a caring and passionate reading teacher contacted me, and we set up a time for my visit.
At the end of my visit, I offered the class a challenge: "Write a mystery for my novel series, and I will include it in my next Abby Diamond book." While becoming an author did not get the applause I anticipated from the students, the mentioning of a thirty dollar gift card did. Several students approached me at the end of the class and began enthusiastically telling me their ideas for the next Adventures of Abby Diamond. Target gift cards will encourage even the toughest of critics.