TV

"I was looking forward to hearing you more than anyone else tonight," Simon said. Him and many millions of viewers. (Including myself.)
But his performance tonight was rather dull. All the judges could talk about was his creative rendition of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." Sadly, he can't go with that week after week. People would notice.

Finally. We have a potential finalist, and he just so happens to be from Fort Worth.
The oh-so-cute Casey James sat on a stool, strummed his guitar and totally knocked Bryan Adams' "Heaven" out of the park.
After the judges stopped teasing Kara for her alleged crush on Casey, Kara got serious. (Kinda.) "You're eye candy, but you're also ear candy," she said.
Simon, noting that "we were both cursed with good looks," said Casey chose the right song, "and you came across very honest, very sincere. It was the best performance I've heard from you since you've been in the competition, so you did great."
Judges' commentary can't get any better than that, I don't think.

OK, so he's the adorable one. Our North Richland Hills resident sang "Wonderful World," during which time he was clearly nervous. (Clearly.)
"I don't know who was happier for that to end, you or me," Simon said. "It was the most uncomfortable performance of the night."
That being said, he noted that Alex has a good voice. "But if you can't get your nerves together on a night like this, this is never gonna work for you."
"Yes, sir," Alex said.
"You don't have to call me sir," Simon retorted. (Yes, he does. He's a good Texas boy who was apparently raised right.)
Luckily, things soon turned in Alex's favor among the judges. They were all in agreement that they really like him.
"I like that you're holding onto the mullet and you're not gonna let it go," Ellen said. (Awesome.) She then compared him to fruit. "Sometimes a banana is not quite ripe, and you're like, 'Ooh, I wish it was riper because I'd like to eat that banana right now.' It's just not ripe enough."
She told him he just needs confidence, because "you have all of it. It's all right there."
Ryan asked Alex how many times he's performed in front of a crowed. "Like three times at coffee shops and stuff with audiences of like 20 people," he admitted. "This is crazy!"
He'll get through to next week. Like Lee, people are just going to flat-out want to root for him.

Big Mike went with Maroon 5's "Big Love." Why? I have no clue. It was flat-out the wrong way to go.
Ellen, however, felt it was a great song choice. But Simon was less thrilled: "You were like the support act before the main act. You delivered so little on that performance."
This is getting depressing. I mean, somebody's going to have to win this contest, right? Can we get some potential going?

Before he took the stage, John reminisced about Shania Twain's flirtatious comments about him at his first audition.
"It was one of my proudest moments of my life," he said. "She's the most beautiful woman I've seen in person, no lie. If she would marry me, I would propose to her."
He then sang a version of "God Bless The Child" that I thought was very nice, but the judges poo-pooed all over those good vibes. They hated it. Simon accused him of having "zero emotion," while Kara used the dreaded I word. ("Indulgent.")
Huh. I'm confused on this one.

OK, so this guy is the adorable one, in my opinion. I didn't completely love his version of "Chasing Cars" (not caring for the trend of making songs so different that we at home can't sing along), but I like him. And I agree with the judges that he's very David Cook 2.0.
Simon also liked him, calling this "the best performance tonight by a mile." Ryan then asked Lee what it felt like to be on that stage.
"It feels like I don't ever want to lose this feeling," he said.
Lee's not going anywhere. Talent plus likability equals possible Kris Allen-esque success.

I had high hopes for the '70s rocker guy, especially once he started belting out "American Woman." (He'd started out really slow, repeating the phrase, "American woman, gonna mess with your mind." How many other people feared he was going to do a Todrick and change the song completely?)
Even though I thought it worked in places, I began to lose interest halfway through. Simon nailed down the problem: "My issue is that you come over a lot as somebody who's gone to Pretend To Be a Rock Star School."
Kara suggested that he's playing too true to the '70s "rather than playing with it" and making it more current. That makes sense.
The good news: He was memorable enough to get some votes. Can't say the same for Joe Munoz, sadly.

Wow, that was brutal. The whole thing was, from the singing to the critiquing to the condescending "you're adorable" comments.
Tim went with "Apologize" by One Republic -- despite the fact that he could not ever, ever hit those high notes. That became clear after the first attempt.
As Simon began his review, he congratulated Tim on coming back to the show; he'd originally not made the top 24, but after Chris Golightly was booted, Tim got the call to return.
"Having said that," Simon said, "we absolutely made the right decision by not putting you through, based on that performance. There was nothing, nothing to take from that. The vocals were weak, the version was weak, you didn't come over as a natural performer. And the truth is, I just don't think your voice is good enough. I don't."
OUCH. Tim had tears in his eyes -- heck, I almost had tears in my eyes for him. Because that was way harsh.
Kara said some other negative things, as did Randy. Ellen pointed out that he couldn't hit the high notes, so in the future he'll need to step it up "and not just count on the fact that you're adorable, because you're adorable."
Tim looked like he wanted to curl up in a ball. Like an adorable, scolded puppy dog.

Sixteen-year-old Aaron went with "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts. It was fine -- but what made it special was that it garnered Simon's first mostly-positive review of the week.
"Bearing in mind it was your first live show, it was quite a good performance," he said.
Based on what he's been saying to everybody else, this was stupdendous news.
Oh, but poor Jermaine Sellers. After he wailed through the dreary ballad "Get Here," Mr. Cowell was not kind.
"I think you've totally blown your opportunity with that, if you want my honest opinion," he said. Then Ellen protested, and Simon smirked. Ryan asked what was up with that look. "It means I don't agree," he said.
Methinks rumors that these two don't get along may have a teensy shred of truth to them.

For my 1,000 post, let's all imagine doing a back flip with the greatest of ease, a la Todrick Hall. Whee! That was fun.
OK, back to business. Todrick decided to sing Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone." Well, he decided to talk the first part. And then he decided to change the rest of it so completely that it was unrecognizable. Was it bad? I didn't think so. But I agree with Randy that the Clarkson version was a hit for a reason. No need to just toss it out the window and start over.
"I think you came over as a dancer trying to sing rather than a singer who can also dance," Simon said. "You completely murdered the original song. That was verging on stupid, what you just did."
Todrick was given a chance to respond. "I questioned it myself: Is this changing it a little too much?" he told Ryan. Good answer. Humility is always nice to see in these kids.
Despite the fact that he went first (which is often forgettable) and it wasn't great, I predict that our first local guy of the night will be sticking around. He already has a big enough fan base to pull him through. I think.

So I appear to be having a few technical difficulties tonight; it's hard to blog when one can't access the blogging machine. But here we are, finally! (By the way, the temperamental blogging machine just informed me that this is my 999th entry. Party over at the next post!)
As the show got underway, Simon set the mood.
"I watched some of the rehearsals earlier and saw an awful lot of nerves," he said. "If you lose it tonight or forget the words, your career is over."
"Yikes!" Kara said as her eyes got all buggy.
I'd be so scared to be one of those 12 singers right now.

Jack wrecks the lighthouse.
Claire and Locke: friends forever?
Jin needs to get out...

SPOILER ALERT: Avert your eyes if you don't want to know about tonight's episode of ABC's Lost.

(Before I forget, be sure and check back here Wednesday morning for the timeless Lost-haiku stylings of our own Samantha Urban.)

In what seems to be a trend this season, we got another one-character-centric episode, this time focusing on Jack Shephard (Matthew Fox). Turns out that in Sideways World, Jack has a teenage son named David. Aha! In real life, 2010 world, David Shepard (spelled differently, but still) is a producer-director who did a reconstruction ... a.k.a. alternate version of the 1925 silent film The Lost World. Connection? Probably not. Just those adorable Lost producers messing with our minds, methinks, and our ability to Google. But hey, for a minute there, I felt just like Doc Jensen over at Entertainment Weekly!)

PHOTO by Bob D'Amico/ABC: Matthew Shepard as Jack Shepard on Lost

I think it's becoming pretty clear which of these women have potential and which do not. Among those with staying power: the final three to perform.
Glassblowing apprentice Siobhan Magnus is certainly quirky, but not the kind of quirkly we got last year. (You remember. Bird imitations.) She's quirky in a bookish way, and I enjoy that about her.
Her rendition of "Wicked Game" was probably enough to keep her in for another week, at least. Simon called the choice of song "very very dark," but added, "It might be because you're a very dark person, I don't know. I mean, you're blowing glass all day on your own. That would make a person dark, I guess."
They can never replace this man on the show. I'm sorry.
Next up: Crystal Bowersox, who should always perform with a harmonica because that's why we love her so. (Anybody else think her teeth got a shade whiter? I believe they did.)
After she finished a pretty safe version of "Hand In My Pocket," Simon (again) laid it all out there. The man was in fine form tonight.
"We like you, we love your little baby, we like your story," he said. "But the truth is, there are thousands of you doing this outside subway stations every day. If I met you in real life and heard that, I wouldn't stop in my tracks and go, 'You're the most original artist I've ever heard.'" But then he suggested she try David Bowie or something next time, and she rather liked that idea, so it was all good.
Last up was 17-year-old Katie Stevens. Again, I had high hopes that this would be the one that would knock it out of the park tonight -- and again, I was disappointed.
"It's like your mum and dad dressed you and gave you the song for this audition," Simon said of her choice to sing "Feelin' Good." "So it had started to become annoying."
All we want as fans (to paraphrase Aerosmith) is someone we can't resist. Didn't get that tonight.

Michelle performed a competent yet lackluster rendition of Alicia Keys' "Fallin'." Didi -- sporting a crocheted vest, of all things! -- sang the sleepy song "The Way I Am." Sleepily.
"Here's my problem tonight," Simon said. "There are too many people trying to sound like the same person, which is Adelle or Duffy. What I'm missing is a spark here -- you know, something which excites me." (Or, if we want to be grammatically correct, something "that" excites him.)
I wholeheartedly agree. And if the girls are supposed to be SO much better than the guys this year, we're in trouble.

Hailing from Amarillo, she's the closest we have to a local girl. So it would be nice of us to root for her.
Unfortunately, her performance of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" was downright boring. Randy called it "terrible," Ellen said she's better than that, and Simon held nothing back.
"I thought it was quite depressing, to be honest," he said. (True. No offense.) "About 15 seconds in, I was working out how much we've got to listen to this. But worse than that, it was kind of indulgent."
So there's her Idol kiss of death right there. Unfortunately.

Lilly Scott (the lavender-haired one) went with "Fixing a Hole." Wow. That's a new one for this show. While I thought it was pretty good, it really just made me want to hear the original.
Next up: curly-haired Katelyn Epperly, who reminds me of a young Carrie Underwood. Her rendition of "Oh! Darling" wasn't great for Simon; he called it "very messy. But I actually like you. I thought that was brave. You're gonna need an awful lot of work, but yeah, I like you a lot." (Me too. She's one of my favorite girls this year.)
Then things got weird. After Kara said, "I don't think the makeover is helping you," Ryan asked Katelyn what her "word bubble" might have been following Kara's critique.
"I think I know what her word bubble was," said Kara. Who then uttered the B-word.
What the heck. That was a very Paula-esque moment, wasn't it?
After the break, Haeley Vaughn tackled "I Wanna Hold Your Hand."
"She looks sparkly," my daughter said. I personally enjoyed most of it, but by the end she'd begun to grate on my last nerve.
Afterward, the striking difference between Ellen as a judge and Simon as a judge was laid bare. Ellen wrapped up her comments with, "As someone who just likes music, I enjoyed it."
Simon's turn: "If I'm being honest with you, I thought it was verging on terrible. You were like a windup doll that never stopped smiling throughout the song."
And you know what? She WAS like a windup doll. Thank you, Simon. We miss you already.

i think nerves are getting to our ladies. (Not that I blame them; I'd get out there and start shaking uncontrollably. Paramedics would be alerted.)
Paige Miles didn't do much for me, as did(n't) Ashley Rodriguez. I had high hopes for Janell Wheeler, based on the start of her song.
But then Simon summed it up better than anyone else could: "It started off OK, but then when you got excited and thought it was going well for you -- it wasn't going that well -- you started to go off-key."
Still, he predicted that she won't be one of the two girls going home this week. Seeing how it's still early in this episode, I'm wondering if that was an indirect diss of the first two singers.

During a conference call with reporters last week, he specifically said that he'd continue in his leadership role -- and that his comments would always go last. So tonight, when he was told he was up first, it made sense that he looked startled.
"Is it me?" he asked. "I'm going first?" Um, awkward.
Let the man talk last, I say. (Don't make it all fair and take turns.) I mean, doesn't he deserve that honor at this point? To answer my own question, yes.

It's still a bit surreal to see Ellen Degeneres sitting at the judges' table, isn't it? And tonight's the first time I felt the absence of one Paula Abdul. (Not that I'm torn up with grief or anything.)
As for Ellen, it's clear what she will bring to this season's live shows: much-needed laughter. The clip of a handsy Simon not being able to control himself around her was cute. And different enough to give this show a breath of fresh air.