If you've yet to experience the irreverent and racy humor of Archer, do yourself a favor and check out the cartoon for adults tonight. A four-episode marathon starts at 9 p.m. on FX.

The premise: ISIS is a group of spies, led by boozy matriarch Malory Archer (voiced by Jessica Walter of Arrested Development), son Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin) and siren Lana Kane (Aisha Tyler), along with bumbling support by Cyril (Chris Parnell of Saturday Night Live fame), super-sexy-and-weird Cheryl (Judy Greer) and the slightly more sane Pam (Amber Nash).

Why it's funny: The voicework is terrific, especially Benjamin's droll monotone. It's packed with bizarre, laugh-out-loud scenes (like the episode titled "Diversity Hire," in which Archer gets into a nude fight with another spy in the men's locker room). And the show uses expletives that network TV doesn't. No f-bombs, but just about everything else.

Calls to mind: The brilliance and madness of Adult Swim's quirkiest programming on Cartoon Network (Space Ghost, Sealab 2021, The Venture Bros.).

See for yourself: The clip below doesn't quite do the show justice. But it does collect scenes featuring Archer's go-to line when dealing with ex-lover Lana. Let's just say he's a Kenny Loggins fan.

Were you captured by our cameras at State & Allen Lounge this past weekend? Click on the picture to see Quick's Club Cam gallery. And check back next Thursday for a new slideshow.

Check out We've Never Met by David Hopkins and Chad Thomas in this week's Quick, out today. And then look for it every other week!

Click on the image above to see the larger version.

The Grapevine-born act currently sits at No. 1 on iTunes' album chart after the release yesterday of latest album Of Men and Angels (on Island/Def Jam). The Rocket Summer is fronted by 27-year-old Bryce Avary, who started the project about a decade ago, originally playing all the instruments himself. I talked to Bryce for a story in this week's Quick. Stay tuned for that to be posted later today on the site (UPDATE: Click it hard). But in the meantime, give Of Men and Angels a "spin" below. You'll understand why the album's No. 1 on iTunes and why it's been rated more than 500 times by listeners -- It's full of soaring, melodic power-pop that's custom made for radio. Avary and Rocket Summer play a big hometown show on Friday at the Granada. My guess is that you should try to get those tickets as soon as possible, if the show's not already sold out.

Just signed in to e-mail and saw a note from Dallas rap duo Damaged Good$: Their new mixtape Spread Love Not Germs is up and ready for downloadin'! If this all sounds familiar to you, you may remember that the guys released a few tracks from this to coincide with charity events they held around town. Overall, a good-hearted and creative project for a local act. And of course, the guys encourage you to make some sort of Haiti donation before or after downloading the full mix.


Add this download to new releases from Grapevine-act-done-good The Rocket Summer and Sean Kirkpatrick's band, Nervous Curtains, and it's pretty much Super Tuesday around these parts. More on the latter two albums coming in this week's Quick. Stay tuned.

Johnny Cash croons from beyond the hereafter, Matt Damon blows a whistle beneath a sweet, sweet 'stache, and a heavy rain falls for PlayStation 3 owners. Here are your new releases for Tuesday, Feb. 23.

MUSIC

American VI: Ain't No Grave -- Johnny Cash: They don't come more aptly titled than this. Rap and metal impresario Rick Rubin's American Recordings label releases a seventh album of Cash material, making this the Man in Black's third release since death -- fourth if you count a "lost" live album released in 2007. And you thought Tupac was posthumously prolific.

The Architect -- Rob Swift: The veteran turntable virtuoso continues to refine the definition of stereo equipment as instrument, mixing classical music, smoky jazz samples and hip-hop grooves with equally mixed results.

This Addiction -- Alkaline Trio: The punk outfit's seventh studio album offers more of the same efficient power chord riffage fans have come to expect and enjoy. Look for this Epitaph Records release on sale at Target through the end of the week. Wait, what? I'm old.

American Gong -- Quasi: With the addition of bassist Joanna Bolme, Sam Coomes and Janet Weiss turn their Portland-based indie-rock power duo into a trio and churn out a collection of well-crafted songs dusted with dirty distortion and more hooks than a tackle box.

DVD

The Informant: Matt Damon pudges it up and delivers a perfect performance as real-life FBI informant Mark Whitacre. Added bonus: Comedy nerds can make a drinking game out of watching the movie, taking a shot every time they see a standup comic in a supporting role (Allan Havey, Tom Papa, Joel McHale, Paul F. Tompkins, Patton Oswalt).

The Box: Writer/director Richard Kelly continues his decline from artful auteur (Donnie Darko) to arbiter of the awful (Southland Tales). Cameron Diaz in a psycho-drama chiller? I'd rather watch Bruce Willis' daughter co-star in a slasher flick about snotty college girls trying to cover up the accidental murder of their sorority sister.

Sorority Row: Bruce Willis' daughter co-stars in a slasher flick about snotty college girls trying to cover up the accidental murder of their sorority sister.

Cirque de Freak: The Vampire's Assistant: Finally, a film so terrible even the always-awesome John C. Reilly can't save it.

Everybody's Fine: No, they're not. Who told Robert De Niro to stop playing badasses? Because I owe that person a smack in the mouth.

VIDEO GAMES

Heavy Rain (PS3): Game designer David Cage, the man behind 2004's mixed review-riddled Indigo Prophecy, returns with another psychological thriller. This time around, his game is garnering heavy praise from critics for its cinematic storyline and innovative control scheme.

Sonic & SEGA All-Stars Racing with Banjo Kazooie (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, and Nintendo DS): Essentially, SEGA's cross-platform answer to Mario Kart with different characters, equally ridiculous vehicles and fewer mushrooms.

Napoleon: Total War (PC): Step into the tiny French tyrant's infamous equestrian boots, engage in online multiplayer campaigns, and execute tactical battles in this real-time strategy game.

Did you know Feb. 22 is National Margarita Day? Well, now that you're armed with that knowledge, go out and make use of it! This is Texas, so there's any number of places you can sip on the citrus cocktail.

Some of my faves include Gloria's, which serves one of the only two frozen margaritas I love. And tonight, they're happy hour-priced all night: $3 for house margs and $5 for mango and strawberry varieties. Yum!

The other frozen version that I love is at LaGrange, in Deep Ellum. Theirs may be a bit too sweet for some, but I found the hit of agave nectar to be perfect.

Finally, if you want to really go all out and celebrate Marg Day, turn it into a feast. Trece, the lounge-like, upscale Mexican eatery near Travis Walk, offers a free two-course dinner on Mondays. That frees up your money to spend on drinks like the berry-and-Red Bull-flavored Roz-a-rita. Cheers!

Local faves The O's (above) are hitting the stage in the next hour as part of the Libertine's Benefit for Haiti. The bar's providing good music, cheap drinks, delish eats AND helping a great cause -- what's not to like about this event? Fine, then get out there ...

Saturday night, Sons of Hermann Hall will host The Smoke, a local mod, garage, reggae, soul, free-for-all dance-a-thon that's been building a reputation and reverence amongst groove thang-shakers at various venues around town for the last seven years.

We hit up Smoke co-founder Marcos Prado to discuss the rise of Dallas' longest running mod night, what's in store for the event's future, and what it takes to successfully spin records that are twice as old as most of the people on the dance floor.

When did The Smoke start and who was involved?

The night started in June of 2003, at the Cavern. When it comes to who was involved it depends on who you ask. Originally, it was Jason Harris, Jason Meyer, Ryan Sumner, Steve Nut, and myself. Both Jasons took over the night early on its infancy. Meyer, left due to a work conflict, and that's around the time the night really settled into Avenue Arts. After Meyer it was just Harris DJing. That went on for a couple years until he started letting Jonathan Maslyk and I spin. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I took over the night.

What was the initial inspiration?

We all wanted a night where we could hear music embraced by the mod subculture. There had been some mod nights before The Smoke, but nothing that really took off. It just seemed logical.

Where did you come up with the name?

From what I understand, [the Smoke] was the nickname of "happening 1960s London".

What have been some of the more memorable Smoke events?

Our first night, Bobby Patterson stopped by and sang a tune for the crowd. Unfortunately, I missed it, but I heard it was amazing. He's Bobby Patterson, how couldn't it have been great?

Also, one New Years Eve, I believe it was 2006-7, at Avenue Arts we had a large crowd come out. People came from DC, San Antonio, Austin and Oklahoma, just for our night. The dancing was so intense, and the crowd so sweaty, that condensation started dripping from the ceiling! Nasty, yes. Awesome, double yes!

When did you start becoming interested in this era of music?

I can remember being 10 years old, sitting in the back of my mother's car refusing to get out to look around at the garage sales she'd stop at. She'd leave the radio on for me, which was usually set to KLUV. That definitely started the foundation. It wasn't until after high school that I really started branching out into different music genres. Music is a giant puzzle where everything is tied together. Once you start digging into it, you find other branches of influence, which lead to other branches. It's so dynamic.

And when did that evolve into a record collection?

I had some reggae and mod revival vinyl when I was at UNT, but it wasn't until I met Jason Meyer that I got heavier into soul. Luckily, he wanted to make more room in his apartment, so he ended up selling me his record collection. It took me a while to go through, but eventually it led me towards acquiring more vinyl goodies and buying people's record collection when I got the chance.

What's they key to putting together a tight set?

Wow, I get to be a DJ coach here. Can I say puppies? That's probably not the right answer, but they are pretty cute. What's funny is this question comes up quite often when you get deejays together. The technical term is "dorkfest." For me, the most important thing to remember is that it's not about you (the DJ); it's about the people on the dance floor. Keeping them happy, without straying from the night's theme is where you'll have success. I really don't plan out my sets too much. I have a couple boxes of 45s I play out of. They're all great records *wink*, but even if I'm dying to hear a new record I picked up, it won't be played unless it's going to fit in with the way the crowd is dancing. I guess it all boils down to reading people and not playing for yourself.

I love obscurities, but people tend to want to dance to what they already know. That means you need to learn how to trick them. Instead of playing Los Bravos' "Black is Black," play Big Maybelle's cover. One eye in the record box, one on the floor, one ear on the tempos, and the other on your levels. Just maybe you'll get to some dancing and hear applause.

What should newcomers expect from The Smoke?

A good time I hope. It's all about having fun, dancing, dressing up (optional), and making friends. There are some great people that come out. I know that mod scenes can be somewhat elitist, but most of our regulars are really friendly. They're always trying to get newcomers out on the floor to dance.

Expect great music. Stuff you're not going to hear any where else. Though it's mostly a 60s Mod theme night we also play tunes from other periods. The music genres we mostly play are Rare Soul, Motown, Garage, Freak Beat, Reggae and early RnB.

More importantly, what should Smoke attendees wear?

It's great if people dress the part in an A-line dress, or slim fit tonic suits, but seriously come dressed to dance. Again, it's all about having fun. Personally, I'll start off wearing a suit, but come time to dance I like to change into my action trousers maybe some knitwear or a Fred Perry. It's just a sixties look for the most part, but we'll take you as you are.

Any surprises in store for Saturday's installment of the Smoke?

There's a chance of Scotty Celsur coming out to check out the night. He was in a 60s garage band from Dallas called Jimmy C. & the Chelsea Five. I'm going to play their 45 on Saturday. It was never released, and it hasn't been heard much of for some 40 years! I'm excited!

For a while Avenue Arts regularly hosted The Smoke. What was behind the move to Sons of Hermann Hall?

We all loved Avenue Arts and Eddie Ruiz for having us there those years, but sometimes you just have to move on. Eddie wanted to do more art gallery events instead of dance nights, because that's where his heart is. One great thing about Avenues Arts was when we'd go until 4 a.m. the crowd was so deliriously tired, but the dance floor was still going strong. At Sons of Hermann Hall we go till 2 a.m. and that's late enough for me these days.

What are some of the pros and cons to holding the Smoke at Sons of Hermann Hall?

I can't think of too many cons. I just love the place. The manager Jo Nicodemus is an amazing lady and she's great to work with. Plus, the dance floor in the place is perfect for what we do. Wood doesn't hurt the knee as much when you're doing splits and back drops on it, and believe me, we have dancers that get down like that.

What's coming up?

Glad you asked. So far we have [booked] February 20th, March 13th, April 17, May 21st and June 26th (our Seven Year Anniversary!). Oh, and we're suppose to do something with the upcoming Rockers vs. Mods scooter rally that's happening.

What's been the key to sustaining The Smoke after all these years?

I'm just amazed that this night has gone on for so long. Seven years in June. It's the longest going Mod/60s dance night in Dallas' history. It's all due to the great people that come out to dance and the great friends who help make the night possible. I'm fortunate to be a part of it.

DETAILS:
The Dallas Smoke! February Dance
Saturday from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m.
Sons of Hermann Hall, 3414 Elm Street
214-747-4422
The Smoke on Facebook
Email: thedallassmoke@gmail.com
$5
All ages

Well, the NX35 blog is nothing if not communicative. Seems like we get near-daily updates with bands added to the bill and news on Denton acts. Today's entry (not counting an announcement that DJ Momjeans a.k.a. Danny Masterson has been added to the bill) pertains the flagship performance of this year's fest, the Midlake/Flaming Lips outdoor gig on March 13. It's been moved from just off the Square to the North Texas Fairgrounds. Crowd control and other matters are made much easier in that space, one would think. Read the NX35 entry for more details. And keep checking that site this afternoon for an updated, full schedule. It's never too early to draw up your plan of attack.

Were you captured by our cameras at Palladium Ballroom and the Boardroom during NBA All-Star Weekend? Click on the picture to see Quick's Club Cam gallery. And check back next Thursday for a new slideshow.

Check out Quick Listoons, a comic feature by Stacy Austin Sheffield and Cal Slayton in this week's issue. It alternates with the "We've Never Met" comic strip, so watch for it every other week!


Click on the image above to see the larger version.

Hunter passes along some cool news here. Local darling Sarah Jaffe will open for the formerly local Norah Jones in March, and will release her new album in May. Here's the press release:

Sarah Jaffe Announces US Tour Dates Supporting Norah Jones; Debut Full-Length - Suburban Nature - out May 18th, 2010 on Kirtland Records

New York, NY - Sarah Jaffe is thrilled to announce a string of US tour dates supporting Norah Jones this March! This amazing opportunity came about after Norah Jones crossed paths with Sarah in Switzerland while she was opening up for Midlake and reached out to her about coming on the road for some Stateside dates in March.

These US dates come on the heels of a sold out UK and European tour with Midlake and will lead up to Sarah's performances at this year's NX35 March 11-14 in Denton joining The Flaming Lips, Midlake, Health, and Neon Indian, among others and at this year's annual SXSW festival in Austin, TX. In addition, the live shows will give fans and critics alike a little preview of what's to come as Sarah Jaffe prepares to release her debut full-length album Suburban Nature on Kirtland Records this coming May 18th, 2010.



Produced by John Congleton (Polyphonic Spree, Explosions in the Sky), the new album showcases what an incredible talent this 23 year-old singer/songwriter from Denton, TX is. On February 2nd, the label released the first song from the new album - "Vulnerable" as a digital single along with a remix by Working for a Nuclear Free City of "Two Intangibles Can't Be Had" (a song from her debut EP) and on March 16th another new song from Suburban Nature will be released digitally - "Stay With Me" along with "Face" (a non-album and previously unreleased song).

Sarah has been turning heads with her memorable live performances over the past couple of years. So catch her live now and be sure to check out her debut album - Suburban Nature - in May. For the most up-to-date tour information please go to www.myspace.com/sjaffe or www.sarahjaffe.com and look for her debut album Suburban Nature on Kirtland Records May 18th, 2010.



March Dates w/ Norah Jones:


March 5 - Tulsa, OK - Brady Theatre
March 6 - Kansas City, MO - Midland
March 7 - Omaha, NE - Orpheum
March 9 - Des Moines, IA - Civic Centre

May Tour Dates:

May 4 - Dallas, TX - Music Hall at Fair Park
May 5 - Houston, TX - Verizon Wireless Theater

For the most up-to-date tour information please go to www.myspace.com/sjaffe or www.sarahjaffe.com and look for her debut album Suburban Nature on Kirtland Records in May 2010.

Photo by Jason Janik

Hmmm, there's a tambourine, an orange slice, sake and kimchi all in one photo -- where on Earth would all these things come together?! Why, Sushi World, that's where.

The Korean-managed (that's where the kimchi comes in) restaurant near West End specializes in sushi, and on this recent evening, the generous owners rolled out quite the spread for me to try: miso soup, four kinds of rolls, a boatload of tempura shrimp and veggies, dumplings and dessert. Whew! It was all pretty delish, and I'm really picky about my sushi. So I kept to the "safer" options, with cooked components, and avoided the raw sashimi and nigiri.

The congenial elderly manager at Sushi World has quite the storied, lauded history. He's earned kudos and certificates of honor from the U.S. Congress and the Korean Marines ... and he wasn't afraid to show them to me. At my table. At length. A tad overkill-y, but it was cute.

One of the fun features of the bar is the karaoke dining room. Yes, you'll have to try not to giggle through the melodramatic movie scenes that play on the flat-screen while you sing, but it's part of the kitschy charm of the place. Oh, and did I mention it's open 24 hours?!

I saw it in a tweet last week and now it's official: MTV will use some songs by local duo the O's in its reality show 16 and Pregnant. From an Idol Records press release:

"The season 2 premiere of MTV's Hit show 16 and Pregnant debuts tonight at 9:00 PM Central on MTV and will feature 3 songs from The O's debut Idol release We Are The O's in it, including 'You've Got Your Heart', 'Don't Waste Your Day'; & 'One Way Ticket'. MTV will also ID the songs in the episode."

MTV's used a lot of local bands' music in its shows, but never have I seen a pairing of music and subject this strange. I think I'll have to DVR that ish. Although, the show would be a lot better if Taylor Young and John Pedigo were brought on to offer the teens advice.

In a recent post on this blog, I enthused about the renovation of the old Purgatory into Bacy's. And while the building's transformation is impressive, after visiting during All-Star Weekend, I realized that several things I was told to expect of the lounge hadn't yet come to fruition.

For example, as I understood it, Bacy's was to have live music and jazz and big-band tunes, but as of this past weekend, the music pumping through the speakers was more of the rump-shaking than toe-tapping variety. Which is fine -- several of the DJs were fabulous! But I was also told to expect a more mature and mellow crowd than that which had been frequenting Purgatory. But this past weekend, I saw a lot of what appeared to be the same old rowdy crowd that used to line up around the building every weekend last year.

Having said all that, I have to add that Bacy's is merely a week or two old -- that combined with the flood of out-of-towners for All-Star Weekend mean that I can't really draw conclusions yet about what Bacy's will be like in, say, two months. No one can. It's early, and the amenities and events I listed before could very well still happen. But I would give the club a chance to find its groove and hopefully reach the success the new owners want it to.

Saturday night turned out to be a one-venue proposition. Angels center fielder Torii Hunter, who lives in DFW in the off-season, hosted a party at Eddie Deen's Ranch, just south of downtown. I hung out in a Macallan-sponsored VIP area, where finger foods and drinks flowed freely (hello, lemon drop!). Obviously, it was hard to leave this event. And with the ranch done up like an ultralounge with dance music thumping and sleek, comfy sofas to sink into, it made planting oneself for a few hours the best course of action. Alas, there weren't any celeb sightings here.

On Sunday night, it was back to Bacy's (above) for an Allen Iverson/Birdman bash, but the celebs didn't show up until the after-party they were hosting.

Over in Uptown, Common took the stage at ghostbar for a set that dabbled in his older and newer hits. A nightlife scout who was there reports that the show was fantastic and not at all crowded -- she was so close to the stage that Common high-fived her. Sweet! Also in attendance at the 944 magazine-hosted affair were Floetry alumna Marsha Ambrosius and Doug E. Fresh.

If the traffic was any indication, most folks stayed in Sunday night after the All-Star game they, like me, were probably all partied out ... up next: Super Bowl weekend party madness. Stay tuned ...

You'll get to see some NBA All-Star celebrity party fun in the next issue of Quick this Thursday, thanks to a visit to the Palladium Ballroom on Friday night. In the meantime, I thought you'd want to do a little more celebrity sighting. Saturday night saw more celebs than you could count at the NBA All-Star Slam Dunk Contest, held at the American Airlines Center.

Seriously! I stopped counting and snapping pics, because everywhere I turned was another famous face. Shaq, Spike Lee, Paul Simon, Chris Tucker, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jay-Z, Jamie Foxx, Michael Rapaport, Emmitt Smith, Mary J. Blige, Dwyane Wade, Mario Lopez and some obvious faces like Mark Cuban and Dirk Nowitzki (you'd kind of expect to see Mark and Dirk at a Dallas-based NBA event, right?).

I saw a whole lot more celebs throughout the night, but eventually lost track of all the names and faces. Here are a few photos, paparazzi style:

photos by Jason Janik

You can always look at our handy "This Week & Beyond" part of the site to look ahead at upcoming events, including the crazy number of parties during NBA All-Star Weekend. And here are tonight's big All-Star-related events.

Common

What: The rap star performs in this 944 magazine event. With DJ Irie.

Details: 10 p.m. Ghostbar, 2440 Victory Park Lane. $150. 214-629-7872. 944allstar.com.

Photo: Associated Press

The NBA All-Star Game

Halftime entertainment: Alicia Keys, Usher and Shakira.

East starters: Dwyane Wade (Miami Heat), Allen Iverson (Philadelphia 76ers), LeBron James (Cleveland Cavaliers), Kevin Garnett (Boston Celtics), Dwight Howard (Orlando Magic).

East bench: Al Harford (Atlanta Hawks), Chris Bosh (Toronto Raptors), Paul Pierce (Boston Celtics), Gerald Wallace (Charlotte Bobcats), Joe Johnson (Atlanta Hawks), Rajon Rondo (Boston Celtics), Derrick Rose (Chicago Bulls).

East coach: Stan Van Gundy (Orlando Magic)

West starters: Steve Nash (Phoenix Suns), Kobe Bryant (Los Angeles Lakers), Carmelo Anthony (Denver Nuggets), Tim Duncan (San Antonio Spurs), Amare Stoudemire (Phoenix Suns).

West bench: Paul Gasol (Los Angeles Lakers), Kevin Durant (Oklahoma City Thunder), Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas Mavericks), Zach Randolph (Memphis Grizzlies), Chris Paul (New Orleans Hornets), Brandon Roy (Portland Trail Blazers), Deron Williams (Utah Jazz).

West coach: George Karl (Denver Nuggets)

Details: 7 p.m. Cowboys Stadium, 1 Legends Way, Arlington. $25-$500. 1-800-745-3000. ticketmaster.com.

Michael Vick and Kenny Smith: All-Star Grand Finale

What: Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Michael Vick and TNT analyst and former Houston Rocket Kenny Smith host this All-Star Game watching party. DJ Kid Capri spins.

Details: 6 p.m. Union Station, 400 S. Houston St. $60-$125. 1-800-960-4560. www.showclix.com/event/8405.

Busta Rhymes: Love and Basketball

What: The rap star winds down his All-Star Weekend festivities with the event.

Details: 7 p.m. Skye Bar, 1217 Main St. $85-$4,000. 214-741-1059. sundayskyebarafterparty.eventbrite.com.

Diddy: The Finale

What: The rap star's All-Star festivities close out with this event.

Details: 8 p.m. Beamers, 2443 Walnut Hill Lane. $100-$3,500. 214-902-6490. beamersallstar.com.

Dwele, Raheem DeVaughn

What: Soul artists Dwele and Raheem DeVaughn artists are scheduled to perform along with Kjon.

Details: 9 p.m. Kindal's, 10333 W. Technology Blvd. $150. kindals.com.

Larry Johnson and Gary Payton: Night of the Legend

What: Former NBA stars Larry Johnson and Gary Payton host this event with DJ Clinton Sparks.

Details: 9 p.m. Aura Lounge, 2912 McKinney Ave. $30-$50. nba2010allstarweekend.com.

Drake, Juvenile, BG

What: The hip-hop artists perform as part of Jeezy's All-Star Weekend Takeover.

Details: 9 p.m. Cirque, 1930 Pacific Ave. $150. 214-234-8404. jeezyallstartakeover.com.

Ray J: For the Love of All-Star

What: TV personality Ray J hosts this event.

Details: 9 p.m. Wish Ultra Lounge, 3001 Knox St. $100-$6,000. 214-524-1027. myvipallstar.ticketleap.com.

Allen Iverson, Birdman: Dallas Cash Money All-Star Closeout

What: The Philadelphia 76ers' Allen Iverson and hip-hop star Birdman are scheduled to appear.

Details: 9:30 p.m. Bacy's, 2208 Main St. $40-$65. digitalguestlist.com/event.php?eid=1191

Snoop Dogg

What: 944 magazine presents the rap star.

Details: 10 p.m. The Boardroom, 2900 Olive St. $150. 214-740-0555. 944allstar.com.

Above is a view of the scene outside the Palladium last night, where Diddy held his All-Star Weekend bash. What you can't see is the absolute chaos that was involved in getting inside the building. There were about four levels of strict security we had to get through -- we were handled with a wand, carded, bracelet'ed, queried before we even stepped to the door.

Oh, and let me rewind -- since Dallas cops were blocking off Lamar St., patrons had to park either on the other side of the South Side on Lamar complex or near Eddie Deen's Ranch, by the Convention Center and walk to the venue. If you could only hear the whining and moaning of all the girls in heels, stumbling to the front door. Yeah, I was one of 'em.

Once I got inside, around 12:45, the place was elbow-to-elbow ... with no Diddy in sight. He wasn't even in the building. Figures. There were, however, other celebs crammed on to the stage, none of whom I got to mingle with. Whatevs, my guest and I hightailed it back to Bacy's, where we'd seen and been seen several hours earlier.

The Main Street club was hoppin', with bass-heavy music pumping through the speakers and people dancing wherever they could find a space. Late in the evening Shaquille O'Neal rolled in, emerging from a giant vehicle called The Vault. Huge! Big-screen hottie Vivica A. Fox stopped by for a spell, too.

What's the hot ticket tonight? There're three: Snoop performing at the Boardroom at 10 p.m.; actress Taraji P. Henson and footballer T.O. at Wish UItralounge; and MTV's Mixtape party at Plush, featuring Three-6 Mafia and local fellas Play n Skillz.

Moi? I'll be at a Torii Hunter/Charles Barkley-starring party at Eddie Deen's, then hitting up Bacy's again and possibly the Snoop show.