LIFE/TRAVEL

02/19/2010

Friend, a father-to-be, might need a knock on the forehead
Dear Carolyn: My friend and his wife are expecting – and separating. The cause of the separation seems to be (significant) "stress of pregnancy" issues that I believe are temporary. But I think their behavior now, and their hurt, may prevent their reconciling after the kid is born.

02/18/2010

She's hesitant to head to the altar, but boyfriend's raring to go
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/17/2010

Lots of my exes stay in touch. What do I tell the current girlfriend?

02/16/2010

Her road to love may require tearing down some defenses

02/15/2010

How to cope with a parent having debilitating cancer

02/14/2010

Did I make a mistake by not breaking a commitment?
Dear Carolyn: I've had two dates with a great guy who has expressed to me that he is very interested in me. On Wednesday, after a dinner date, he asked me to do something this weekend. I said I'd love to, and mentioned I had a friend's birthday dinner, on Saturday night. He said he'd call me.

02/13/2010

The horror! My daughter's been invited to a princess party
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/12/2010

You can stop the cycle of negative thinking
Dear Carolyn: I'm a sophomore in college. I'm trying to break the pattern that I've been in since I started college, of settling into a comfort zone and never leaving to try anything or meet anyone new.

02/11/2010

Treat your 13-year-old's coming out with support, love
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/10/2010

I'm terrified by my wife's pregnancy
Dear Carolyn: We recently found out that my wife is pregnant. It will be our first child. This is usually joyous news, and while I'm elated, I'm also terrified. This is her third pregnancy; the last two ended in miscarriage. Both times, we were devastated, and while it's unspoken, I think this is our last shot at it. We're both in our late 30s and have been at it now for more than two years.

02/09/2010

Bringing up baby without losing your minds
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/08/2010

My older boyfriend gets mistaken for my father
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/07/2010

Young couple wants to make over Grandma
Dear Carolyn: My wife shares my views of the extreme difficulty, on a few fronts, of her mother's extended visits to our home. My wife is amenable to discussions with her mom, but fears we may be expecting too much from her – a 60-year-old woman whom we both agree is a very unusual combination of neutral congeniality and stone-quiet stoicism.

02/06/2010

Husband, family won't discuss mysterious sister

02/05/2010

Why did my daughter split up with a terrific guy?
Dear Carolyn: My 25-year-old daughter met a guy about a year ago. He's the perfect partner for her. She told me that he is the one and that she loves him so much. My whole family welcomed him as one of our own. They did everything together, even adopted a dog. They moved in together two months ago.

02/04/2010

How should she apologize to a relative she dislikes?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/03/2010

Treating women as equals doesn't mean you turn your back on common courtesy
Hi, Carolyn: I am 29 and single. I have a very strong mother, who raised me to treat women with respect. I was taught women are strong, intelligent and independent. And that women don't need any special treatment.

02/02/2010

How do you deal with spousal bullying?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

02/01/2010

How can I talk my teen out of having sex?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/31/2010

Daughters' study habits drive her bananas
Dear Carolyn: I am a mother of two teenage girls, 16 and 13. They are both bright. Both of them, however, have a habit that drives me completely out of my mind. Neither one of them studies for exams properly. My older daughter types exchanges on Facebook, while glancing at her textbook from time to time. For the younger one, substitute "watches television" for "types exchanges on Facebook."

01/30/2010

How important is intimacy?
Hi, Carolyn: I just ended an eight-month relationship with a wonderful guy who was kind and fun, because we lacked that strong connection that allows people to talk and laugh together with ease.

01/29/2010

Is dad overstepping bounds in pointing out daughter's weight?

01/28/2010

Fiancé is troubled by her past, which indicates trouble for their future
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/27/2010

Let husband tell his parents: No kids for this couple
Dear Carolyn: I do not want kids, and my fiancé is fine with that. My parents know this (and have had decades to manage their disappointment) but my future in-laws do not. Are we supposed to tell them? They are lovely, nonpushy people, but I know that eventually they will not be able to stop themselves from asking. Is it better to say something before the wedding? What do we say that doesn't sound crushing? Virginia

01/26/2010

Get at the heart of in-laws' negative messages
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/25/2010

How do I help a friend say 'No'?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/24/2010

She feels like a hypocrite if she stays with cheating husband
Hi, Carolyn: I've always considered myself an independent person. I am a married, full-time working mother of two young children, so I've got my hands full, but I've always prided myself on striking a balance between work and family.

01/23/2010

Boyfriend is bored around her friends, family
Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend is super blah around my friends and family, but turns up the charm around his groups. People say he seems unengaged – I got this from my mom, sister and two of my good friends. I chalked it up to nerves at first, but we're going on two years now, and when I ask, he just says relationships need to happen naturally.

01/22/2010

Is it too soon for her to bring up the L word?
Hi, Carolyn: I am 27 and have been in a relationship for about eight months now. I want to tell my boyfriend that I love him, but I am nervous because neither of us has said it yet, and I've never said it to anyone. Should I just go for it, or is there a good reason for me to hold off? Boston

01/21/2010

Boyfriend says, engagement ring isn't a gift
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/20/2010

Christmas-gift ingrate needs to make amends
Hi, Carolyn: Each year for Christmas, my parents usually get each child and married couple a substantial gift, and small presents for any grandchildren. We live across the country from them right now, and when my mom called to ask us what we might want, I had a hard time coming up with anything particularly gift-able.

01/19/2010

Soothing a ruffled M.I.L.'s feelings
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/18/2010

My wife's fears are messing up our kids

01/17/2010

Jealous grandparents playing tug of war over grandchild
Dear Carolyn: My husband and I live an hour from our families, and each lives in a different town. We try hard to spend equal time with each. Yet we are trapped in a constant tug of war between his parents and mine, and between my mother and father, who are divorced.

01/16/2010

How do I dodge calling my M.I.L. Mom?

01/15/2010

Bedbugs not the only things biting at Thanksgiving
Dear Carolyn: Both of our sons came home for Thanksgiving with their families. We put up our older son and his family in a hotel and had our younger son, his new (second) wife and their 5-month-old baby stay in our basement guest room.

01/14/2010

Guys freak out when they see my scars
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/13/2010

She's mad that her husband turns up his nose at decent job offer
Dear Carolyn: My husband has been offered a job (hurray!) with a decent salary, but he doesn't want it. I'm trying to be sympathetic: It is a step down, the boss is a bit nuts, and it really doesn't capitalize on his incredible skills (Ph.D. plus years of cutting-edge research). He's awfully bummed this is his only option and feels like he's letting everyone down who supported him in his career. He's considering not taking the job.

01/12/2010

'I'm afraid I'm going to be unhappy'
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/11/2010

When sharing an elevator, try not to judge
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/10/2010

To help her gauge relationship, she must dump white-picket-fence dreams

01/09/2010

Deal with control freaks by looking inside yourself
Dear Carolyn: How do you tell someone who's emotionally abusive from someone who's just a bit of a control freak? It's easy to spot the more egregious examples out there (people – OK, jerkfaces – who limit your movements, actively insult you, and so on), but what about more subtle examples? Somewhere, Va.

01/08/2010

So, just how fabulous is your wonderful partner?
Dear Carolyn: My husband's sister makes me crazy. First she named her son after my husband, meaning the name is taken and we cannot use it if we have a son. Now, she has gone and bought her daughter a puppy for Christmas, of the same breed we've been talking about getting for years once our beloved dog passes. I know these things are not a big deal, but I can't help but feel like she keeps trying to beat us to the punch! Do I say anything to her or just remain silently frustrated? D.C.

01/07/2010

Couple: Both want careers, but she resents him making all the decisions
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/06/2010

Thought of STD test has boyfriend on defensive

01/05/2010

Dad's girlfriend would just spoil my graduation day
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/04/2010

Why is it so easy to be unhappy?
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

01/03/2010

I've changed my mind and want to get married
Dear Carolyn: For the last seven months, I have been exclusively dating a man whom I am crazy about. When we first met, he told me he had been single for 15-plus years and "didn't see the need for people to get married if they didn't want kids." (We are both in our 50s.)

01/01/2010

Don't fall into the fear trap
While I'm away, readers give the advice.

12/31/2009

Readers give advice on dealing with ill family members, on being 'nice,' and on BYOB wedding receptions
While I'm away, readers give the advice.

12/30/2009

Readers share their advice on premarital sex, arguments and living in the moment
While I'm away, readers give the advice.

12/29/2009

The simple secrets to a successful marriage

12/28/2009

Good parents helped free me from bad boyfriend
While I'm away, readers give the advice.

12/27/2009

A reader's secret to being a good step-parent
While I'm away, readers give the advice.

12/26/2009

Parenthood is the role of a lifetime
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

12/25/2009

How can family deal with mean grandmother?
Hi, Carolyn: Here's our predicament: Mom spent her childhood being emotionally abused by her father, then her adult life being emotionally abused by her husband (my dad). It would be a miracle if she were not affected by this, and indeed, no miracles going on here. She is negative, snippy and generally mean to us (more to my wife and teen girls, actually).

12/24/2009

Writer having trouble dealing with a transferred illness
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

12/23/2009

A foodie gets huffy about her family's pedestrian tastes
Dear Carolyn: My husband and I are hosting a holiday dinner for my side of the family. They are very picky eaters, while my husband and I are certainly more adventurous. We hosted them two years ago, the very first time as adults we were able to host a big family dinner, and I literally had to scrap one of the side dishes an hour before dinner because I was informed that no one would eat it.

12/22/2009

When abusers turn off the charm, cycle hard to escape
Adapted from a recent online discussion.

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