(Nate Diaz never gets tired of doing his impression of that scene in "Conan the Barbarian" where Thulsa Doom turns into a snake.)

Though Nate Diaz would have us believe that he hardly even got touched in three dominant rounds against Gray Maynard at UFC Fight Night 20, Maynard's website features a few photos that tell a different story.  He has several nice shots of him laying hands upon Diaz, though strangely enough, not a single one of him getting hit.  There's some of him dodging blows, or slipping and countering, but none of him actually taking a shot.  If only there were a more impartial photo source that could set the record straight...

We've been waiting for the UFC to tell us what the importance of the Randy Couture-Mark Coleman main event at UFC 109 really is.  Finally, the wait is over.  To the untrained eye it might just look like two MMA dinosaurs going at it because neither of them has anything better to do, but that's far too simplistic.  Really, this fight is happening now because it didn't happen back when both guys had hair and you could still become a UFC champ by beating up fat dudes who wore shirts into the Octagon.  But beyond that, Dana White explains that Couture wants to win because he's a competitor and winning is better than losing, as a rule, but "as far as livelihood and career, Mark Coleman needs this win a lot worse than Randy Couture does."

Translation?  Couture has a little money saved, as well as some other sources of income, but Coleman is broke as a joke and needs this paycheck bad.  Cue the close-up of Coleman looking old and haggard, juxtapose it with clips from his dominant, extremely well-muscled youth, and then close with DW suggesting that Coleman's fourteen-year career has all been preamble to this fight, intoning, "if he can go in there and beat Randy Couture, wow, holy [expletive], Mark Coleman's back."

And scene.  That's how you cut a promo, people.  And, just in case you're curious, this is how you deal with a frustrating loss...

The above clip from an old episode of The George Michael Sports Machine (R.I.P.) shows Herschel Walker calling out heavyweight boxing champ Mike Tyson, for pretty much the same reasons he's trying MMA these days: Because it's there, and because he's a little bit nuts. Dissociative Identity Disorder aside, Walker is one of the most eccentric characters in pro sports. While plugging his upcoming Strikeforce: Miami fight against Greg Nagy during an appearance on the Howard Stern Show yesterday morning, Walker revealed the following:

— For over 20 years, he's only been eating one meal a day, which he takes at night. He doesn't eat meat, which is ironic because he owns a very successful chicken-distribution company.

— He sleeps three or four hours a night.

— He has played Russian Roulette over six times; he thought of it as a "competition."

("Helen, I need you to track down this 'Nate Diaz' fellow. I believe this young man may have some interesting ideas on how to address the state's growing hater problem.")

On Monday, we gleefully high-fived each other at the news that New York Governor David Paterson was coming out publicly in favor of MMA regulation in the Empire State. But new support is coming from a surprising — and just as significant — source. Via the New York Daily News:

Kickass. We now have two governors on our side, while the opposition's most prominent voice in New York is still crackpot Assemblyman Bob Reilly, aided by a few ill-informed, progress-resisting editorial columnists who still refer to mixed martial arts as "ultimate fighting" (no offense to the guy who wrote the above article). Pataki's change-of-heart will be an incredibly valuable talking point in the battle to come: If the dude who banned MMA can inform himself on the sport's progress over the last ten years and change his opinion, those opposition voices should be able to do the same.

(Via Nate Diaz's Twitter)

Say you lost a decision in a close fight that you feel you deserved to win.  You really have only two possible ways to respond: 1) Shrug, say you did your best, and remind everyone that this is why you don't leave it in the hands of the judges, or 2) make a video of yourself in the parking lot of a 24-Hour Fitness showing off the remarkable lack of facial damage that you sustained in the fight, proving unequivocally that you got straight-up screwed, homey.

If you know anything at all about Nate Diaz, you know which option he decided to go with.  Nate posted this video to his Twitter today, following an earlier message stating that he's watched the fight three times since Monday and has come to the conclusion that he won -- get this -- all three rounds.  Added Diaz: "fuck the haters..."