What to make of yesterday's primaries in Texas? I'm not sure.

On one hand, in the GOP gubernatorial race, the very conservative Rick Perry managed to beat the very conservative Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, with 51 percent to 30 percent, while the very very conservative teabagging 9/11 truther Debra Medina came third with a mere 19 percent. On the other hand, the very very conservative teabagging 9/11 truther Debra Medina came third with an astoundingly high 19 percent!

One would think that if Tea Party candidates would gain traction anywhere, they'd certainly gain traction in Texas. But maybe not…

Across Texas, eight of the 11 GOP incumbents running for U.S. Congress successfully fended off tea-party opponents — two others are likely to win in runoffs — and establishment candidates all but swept the state legislature. In other words, it wasn't exactly a banner night for the insurgency.

Okay, so maybe in a state where pretty much everybody is very conservative, there's less impetus to rally around a very very conservative movement. Or…

Maybe Texas is just a tiny bit more rational than it would like to let on…

Thomas Ratliff upset State Board of Education member Don McLeroy in a Republican primary nail-biter. McLeroy, a dentist from Bryan, lost by about 800 votes…

Appointed board chairman in 2007, McLeroy has been the poster-child for the board's conservative bloc with his affable tone but strident ideology… His defeat is substantial blow to the conservatives, who have largely driven the recent rewrites of curriculum standards.

Aw, Texas… You old so and so. Booting out one of the main the guys behind the drive to teach talking snakes in science class in favor of a person with another Republican with functioning reason diodes! You shouldn't have! (Actually, yes, you should have. And thank you!)

According to a highly scientific study conducted by some guy who works at USA Today, we now have definitive proof that The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are the greatest places in the visible universe to watch scientists talking about sciencey-kinds of stuff…

"Comedy Central is it, as far as science goes," says Caltech physicist Sean Carroll, who is scheduled for a Colbert Report visit in March to promote his book, From Eternity to Here: The Quest for the Ultimate Theory of Time. "I give tremendous credit to The Daily Show and The Colbert Report for understanding that science is fascinating and fun, not off-putting and work."

Take, for example, this clip from Monday night's show, in which Jon chats with celebrated astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson…

Take, also for example, all these other clips of these greatest minds of our generation being polite while while Jon and Stephen make fart jokes and such and such…

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Always the classiest of classy gents, New York Rep. Charlie Rangel has magnanimously deigned to temporarily relinquish the chairmanship of the congressional Ways and Means Committee for reasons not entirely un-related to the 900 ethics issues currently piling up behind him…

Rangel says he's stepping aside only temporarily, but he officially resigned the post in a letter submitted to the House Wednesday morning…

Rangel chose to step down, he said, because the matter "is bringing so much attention to the press and [I want]… to avoid my colleagues having to defend me during their elections."

Who do you think they should get to play Rangel in the movie adaptation of this gloriously uplifting tearjerker of a story?

I'm thinking Niecy Nash.

People may want to call Obama the Milli Vanilli of U.S. presidents, but they forget that "Blame It on the Rain" was a pretty catchy song. It would be nice if his proposed health care reform bill was half as catchy…

See also: President Still Smoking — What Do You Think?

Nnnngggghhhhh.

Mmmwwwwffffffrrrrrhhh.

Can't… resist… must… post… crazy man's… press release… about… health care bill…

U.S. Representative Paul Broun, M.D. (GA-10) released the following statement [...]: "I don't know if we should be insulted or humored at the President's feeble attempts to incorporate Republican ideas into his latest health care proposal. Snookie, from the Jersey Shore, has more substance than President Obama's offer.

"Instead of listening to the American people, the President has once again demonstrated his arrogance and ignorance about what the nation expects from its leaders. This is "The Situation," Mr. President: the American people do not want unconstitutional mandates and job-killing tax increases [etc etc]."

Point one: It's Snooki.

Point two: If Paul Broun really wanted to use Jersey Shore to pick a fight with the president, he'd man up, get drunk, punch a wall, cry a little, make out with Obama in a hot tub and forget the whole thing in the morning.

It's definitely been a tough week for New York Democrats with both Governor David Paterson and longtime Congressman Charles Rangel in deep ethical hot-water. Fortunately, the Empire State looks poised to turn things around with the impending announcement that Paterson and Rangel will be replaced by Bernie Madoff and the ghost of Boss Tweed, respectively.

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