This week's question comes from a man who hit it off with the new girl at work -- only to find out later that she has a boyfriend. Now what?
reader's question
Hey Doc,
I’ve been reading your articles now for the past year or so. They have provided me with a lot of inspiration to keep on going after my relationships didn’t work out or if I was in a drought. But now I’m enamored with one particular girl, and I’m stuck.
Here’s the back story: I was transferred overseas for my job. On the first day at work I was stunned to find that a
beautiful woman, Nico, worked at my new office (a big surprise, considering that I’m an engineer on a construction site). During the first month there was a lot of casual flirting between us. Finally, I asked her out on a date, she said yes, and it was perfect. Afterward, it ended with a proper kiss; needless to say, I was stoked. We went on a couple of more dates and all was well with the world.
she has a boyfriend
I painstakingly tried not to get ahead of myself, but we did get very romantic, and it was even more wonderful. Fast-forward a few weeks (and several more special nights), and she drops a huge bomb on me: She has a boyfriend. Crap. I was shocked. She never said anything about him. But then she drops an even bigger bomb: He’s coming to work at the same site as us, and he’s moving in with her!
So, I backed off, he moved in and Nico slowly started getting tired of his BS. She wouldn’t tell me anything about her relationship with him, and I didn’t pry (by the way, I got the word from a mutual friend, who happened to mention it in passing). He didn’t even know that Nico and I had any form of relationship going on.
Anyway, after a couple of months, Nico’s boyfriend got fired and moved back to his hometown. Things started to heat up between Nico and I once again. After spending time together for another month and a half -- with no boyfriend in sight -- things were good again.
fool me once
What a sucker I am. Now she’s leaving on a three-week holiday with the boyfriend. On the day she left, I gave her a lift to her house. When I dropped her off, it was a terrible goodbye, with no hug and no kiss. When I left, I was about 15 minutes down the road when I decided to turn around. Nico and I then had a proper goodbye; it was very emotional. It was then that I made my biggest mistake: I told her that I was
in love with her. I didn’t even get an “I love you” back. Instead I got, “I have a love for you, but I don’t know if I’m in love with you.”
What the hell do I do now?
Puck - who’s a retard at relationships doc love's answer
Hi Puck,
Let me ask you something: You’ve read 52 of my articles, you’re totally obsessed with a girl you can’t handle, you’re heartbroken, and you don’t have my book? What are you waiting for, my friend, more pain and torture?
does she want you or the attention?
When Nico dropped the boyfriend bomb on you, you should have said: “As soon as you’re done with this guy, call me.” What you have to remember here is that this girl is going out with you -- and
making out with you behind her boyfriend’s back. So, she’s running two stooges (that you know of). Who knows how many more she has? What this means is that Nico can’t do without the
incoming attention. She loves the fact that there are two guys coming at her, and that she’s the one controlling the whole mess.
She has a boyfriend -- what can Nico do at this point? Doc Love continues to weigh in after the jump...
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Reader Comments: 49 Posts
Thank you all for the reminder of why I am asexual And of why I would never get close to anyone. Hey betters and lotto players get a job.
Johntheking. Thank goodness there are men like you in the world! There are so many women out there in relationships for the wrong reasons and you provide them with a romp in the sack when their sex at home is bad. Unfortunatly you will be put out of a job if all men were good in bed. Good for you that the majority of men have no idea what they are doing. So simply put. You are being used for your skills. If you were getting paid it would be illegal but in a few years, the age is going to kick in and your girlfriend of 30, or 20 isn't going to want withered skin. So... older women need love too!
Bah!, they ALL have boyfriends and so what?. Just because a girl has a so-called boyfriend does not mean she's not available for extra-curricular activities. Turn it around on them and take the best they have to offer, then send them home to their boyfriends to cry. I'm 47 and I have a girlfriend who is 30. She lives with her boyfriend and the stooge tells her 20 times a day how much he loves her, then she sneaks out to be with me for you know what. He has to put up with all of her female problems and then I show up for the payoff. I'm very sweet and considerate to her but if I told her "I think I love you", then my stock would drop like a stone as I would not be so interesting anymore. Remember, confidence, control, challenge, Doc should pay me $99.00 the way I promote the 3 c's. .
i only have an incher
i hate the system.....doc love is gay.....doc love is a loser.....gerryair sucks
look ladies...i know the doc love is gold...and all of you would crawl over 2 miles of broken glass during a snowstorm just to meet a system guy like me,,.it pains me to see so many unfullfilled ladies on this site....but i feel your pain...but not lately,.....stupe digs me,,,thanks barb,you love me toooo,,,,the gerryair gay is a flop dick imposter....still upset about his failed penis enlargment....ps my toilet works great......send pics you babe. love gerryair aka gerrybaby..nite!!!!!!
THE SYSTEM SUCKS
FUKK THE SYSTEM
im a homosexual
Gee, you're like a turd that won't flush. You just keep swirling around and around until you have no substance, turn into liquid, and can't float around anymore. I love Doc Love. Yep. I'm a "system babe" too.
We know "turds" like you, when we see 'em. By the way....I hope "Minnie Fingers" enjoys that so-called "awesome" appendage of yours....
yo stupid....good for you ,,,a little sarcasm goes a long way.glad to hear youre a system babe,cant get any better than that.,i just couldnt help but give you a bit of a rub job.and before you profess youre undying love for me.,my appendage is awesome and its real.!!! thanks for bringing my good points up. I sometimes go hours without that kind of love. stop thinkin bout me,,,,,ciao baby
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