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This page is a continuation of a story by PR2 Richard Cooley in the winter 2002/2003 issue of Mech.  His humorous yet serious look at what it takes to be a maintainer was a hit with readers.  Now you have a chance to add to the list. Submit your ideas to the Mech editor at danny.steber@navy.mil.

AE2(AW/SW) Daniel Marcinkus -- I served with VFA-131 wildcats from 2004-2008.

• You have slept on the concrete under a wing
• You have said, "oh...... Yes sir/ma'am it's supposed to look like that."
• You have sucked Lox or cranked up a bird with a mask to cure a hangover.
• You know what JP4 or JP8 tastes like.
• You used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.
• You've said, "My boots are black!" or spray painted them black.
• You refer to pilots as stick actuators.
• You've been sent to retrieve the following items: prop wash, a yard of flight line, a pad eye wrench, an airframe punch, exhaust samples or a bucket of electrons.
• You've pulled a 14 hour shift on a bird that is not flying the next day.
• You've said, "As long as she turns up every other try you'll be fine sir/ma'am."
• You believe the aircraft has a soul.
• You talk to the aircraft
• If someone punches you' re favorite bird you consider it domestic violence.
• You've defueled a bird an hour after fueling it.
• The only thing you know about a det town is where to get a beer and a bite to eat.
• You know more about the people in your shop than your own family.
• You wish a pilot would come back from a hop and say, "Great airplane."
• You take it as a badge of honor to be called a "det hound."
• You look for "your" birds in aviation books.
• You relieve yourself outdoors more than indoors.
• You can't comprehend why everyone doesn't want to be a maintainer.
• You've worn someone else's hat, belt, jacket, ect..... to quarters.
• You've wiped down leaks while the aircrew is walking.
• You've stood on wheel chocks as a make shift step ladder or to keep you're feet dry.
• You've used dyke's to trim a fingernail.
• All you care about is: the flight schedule, how many up birds you have, and your days off.
• You've used B-1-C instead of heat gun to do wire repair.
• You can hold a conversation with another shooter on the flight deck using only hand signals and gestures.
• You know more airplane part numbers, WUC's, pins and wire numbers better than your own phone number.
• You can tell someone how to correct a MAF without looking at the screen.
• You've told aircrew to get out of the seat so you can get in there and fix it so they don't miss a sortie.
• You can quote MMPs, BLINS, and fault codes from memory.
• Your green wheel book is nothing but mini schematics and cheat sheets..
• You know your blue book is your bible.
• You've ever CDI'd something in a dress uniform because you were the only CDI available.
• You've ever fixed all your jets as fast as you could so you could go back to the shop and play cards.
• You've ever spent 12+ hours on the flight deck without coming down till your relief showed up.
• You catch power naps on drop tanks
• You've memorized all the buno numbers of all the birds you work on.
• You've been bitten by the safety wire monster.
• You've taken a nap in an intake on a balls to 6 watch.
• There is at least 4 unidentifiable substances on your coveralls
• You're dog growls at you when you return home.
• You point out, "That's my bird" when you see them overhead out in town.
• You swear somebody changed the name of your shop to pre-x.
• You've ever pretended your flashlight was a light saber or played light catch on the flight line.
• You've ever sat in the cockpit and pretended to do the trench run from Star Wars.
• You've volunteered to be a safety on a turn in January to use the jet exhaust to keep warm.
• You believe in gremlins
• You've raced your tow tractor against someone else's.
• You've dropped the starboard engine doors only to realize the gripe was on the other side.
• The phrase " I popped a BLIN 16" makes you physically ill.
• You have fits where you only speak in acronyms.
• You've had to come in and turn a bird on a Saturday even though it's not your duty weekend.
• You've ever had to catch another commands birds on your day off.
• You've ever left a tool inside the aircraft and the tool got it's "wings".
• You've ever had to explain to a pilot that OFF does not stand for On For Flight.
• You've been harassed by the tower to throttle back to idle because it's "quiet hours"
• You have water fights at the was rack in August to stay cool.
• You've been the PC at the hush house in winter and understood how a Popsicle must feel.
• You know what the Fallon Shuffle is.
• You've participated in " Pigs In Space"
• You've made a make shift bandage out of cheese cloth and tape.
• You've ever told someone to check something on the nose landing gear and blinded them with the taxi light.
• You've been taped to chair and rolled onto the flight line or past maintenance control.
• You've been eating and doing maintenance at the same time.
• You've been put on monkey watch while on the ship.
• You're Navy core values have changed from honor, courage, commitment, to lie, cheat, and acquire.
• You've ever attempted to order a whole new airplane.
• You've "borrowed" support equipment from another squadron.
• You've created tools that don't yet exist.
• You know a suck and blow is not a pleasurable event.
• You' re highly trained in the art of sleep deprivation

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