**************** UNCLASSIFIED// ****************
Subject: SUMMARY OF MISHAPS
Originator: COMNAVSAFECEN NORFOLK VA(UC)
DTG: 232112Z Jan 09
Precedence: ROUTINE
DAC: General
To: AL ALSAFE(UC)
--------------------------------------------------

UNCLASSIFIED//
ALSAFE 004/09
MSGID/GENADMIN/COMNAVSAFECEN/00/JAN//
SUBJ/SUMMARY OF MISHAPS//
GENTEXT/REMARKS/1. WELCOME TO THE LATEST EDITION OF THE 
FRIDAY FUNNIES. THIS TIME WE OFFER ANOTHER COMPREHENSIVE 
CATALOG OF THE OBJECTS AND ACTIVITIES THAT OUR SHIPMATES 
AND COWORKERS WERE INVOLVED WITH WHEN THEY TEMPORARILY 
ACQUIRED BANDAGES AND/OR CRUTCHES.
A. ARMADILLO HOLE, INTO WHICH A SAILOR STEPPED WHILE 
PLAYING FOOTBALL ON THE LOCAL PARADE FIELD.
B. BUNGEE CORD, WHICH SLIPPED OFF A DOOR IT WAS SECURING 
AND HIT AN MM3 IN THE EYE WHILE HE WAS, ACCORDING TO THE 
REPORT, "MEETING WITH SENIOR OFFICER." VERY IMPRESSIVE.
C. CHICKEN, ONE 40-POUND BOX OF, WHICH AN EMPLOYEE WAS 
HELPING CARRY WHEN SHE HURT HER BACK.
D. DIRT BIKE, RIDDEN BY AN HTC AT A PARK IN VIRGINIA. THE 
RIDER IN FRONT OF HIM WRECKED, SO HE HAD TO "BRAKE EARLY," 
THE REPORT SAID. HIS BIKE TOPPLED ONTO HIS LEG AND BROKE 
IT. THREE MONTHS IN A CAST.
E. ELBOW AND EYE, THE LATTER BELONGING TO AN AHM1 WHO WAS 
PLAYING BASKETBALL IN FLORIDA, AND THE FORMER BELONGING TO 
ANOTHER PLAYER, RESULTING IN A CORNEAL ABRASION.
F. FOREHEAD, SPORTING A LARGE LUMP AFTER AN ABH3 SMACKED 
HIMSELF WITH A WRENCH THAT SLIPPED OFF A NUT HE WAS 
TIGHTENING.
G. GOLF TEE, WHICH PUNCTURED THE FOOT OF A SAILOR WHO 
STEPPED ON IT.
H. HOWITZER, WHICH LANDED ON A PFC'S FEET WHILE IT WAS 
BEING PREPPED FOR TRANSPORT. HIS SECTION HAD LIFTED THE 
WEAPON'S TRAILS, COULDN'T ATTACH IT TO THE TOW VEHICLE, AND 
WAS PUTTING IT BACK DOWN. THREE MONTHS OF LIMPDU.
I. ICE CASKET (THAT'S WHAT THE REPORT CALLED IT, SO DON'T 
ASK ME, I NEVER HEARD OF ONE EITHER), WHICH A CIVILIAN REC 
SPECIALIST IN NORFOLK WAS LOADING, PREPARING FOR A SPECIAL 
EVENT. HE WAS MOVING IT TO MOUNT TO TRAILER HITCH AND 
STRAINED HIS BACK.
J. JUMPING ON A TRAMPOLINE, DURING WHICH AN OFF-DUTY AD3 
RESERVIST LOST HIS BALANCE, FELL OFF, AND BROKE HIS LEG.  
K. KELP, WHICH A LTJG WAS TRYING TO SLICE A PIECE OF WHILE 
KNEE-DEEP IN THE OCEAN NEAR SAN DIEGO. HE SEVERED A TENDON 
IN HIS FINGER.
L. LIGHTS, BEING CHANGED BY AN AM2 OUTSIDE HIS HOME. HIS 
STOOL WAS SLIPPERY, HE REACHED TOO FAR AND SLIPPED. HE 
SPRAINED HIS ANKLE AND BRUISED HIS SHIN AND SHOULDER
M. MUSICAL PUSH TOY, THROWN BY A CHILD AT A CIVILIAN DAY-
CARE WORKER IN SOUTH CAROLINA. SHE WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR 
WITH A GROUP OF ONE-YEAR-OLDS. THE TOY HIT HER ON THE KNEE 
AND LEFT A "RED MARK," WHICH NECESSITATED A VISIT TO A DOC.
N. NOTE PAD, WHICH A CLUB MANAGER IN NORFOLK WAS REACHING 
FOR WHILE SEATED IN A DESK CHAIR. SHE OVERREACHED, THE 
CHAIR TIPPED, AND SHE LANDED ON THE FLOOR. FOUR MONTHS AND 
TEN DAYS OF LIMITED DUTY. IF SITTING IN A CHAIR IS ALREADY 
ONE OF YOUR DUTIES, WE'RE NOT SURE HOW MUCH MORE LIMITED 
THAN THAT YOU CAN GET.
O. OIL SLICK, HIT BY AN AIRMAN IN JACKSONVILLE WHILE RIDING 
HIS MOTORCYCLE. HE LOST CONTROL, DROPPED THE BIKE, AND 
ACCRUED ABRASIONS AND SCRATCHES GALORE.
P. POTATOES, BEING SLICED BY AN AW1 IN PENSACOLA. HIS THUMB 
GOT IN THE WAY.
Q. QUESTION, BEING FIELDED BY A CIVILIAN EMPLOYEE WHO WAS 
WALKING INTO HIS OFFICE. HE TURNED TO ANSWER AND CAREENED 
INTO THE BOTTOM HALF OF A DUTCH DOOR. IT HURT ENOUGH SO 
THAT HE THOUGHT, ERRONEOUSLY, THAT HE HAD BROKEN A RIB.
R. ROCK, WHICH A TODDLER AT A CHILD DEVELOPMENT CENTER 
DROPPED ON A CAREGIVER'S NOGGIN WHEN SHE KNELT DOWN TO TIE 
THE CHILD'S SHOELACE.
S. SHAMPOO, BEING APPLIED TO A CARPET BY AN OS2 WHEN SHE 
TRIPPED AND HIT HER EYE ON THE EDGE OF A TABLE. 
T. TEARING, BEING DONE ON A ROLL OF ALUMINUM FOIL, WHEN THE 
SAILOR APPLIED THE EDGE OF HIS FINGER TO THE SERRATED EDGE. 
HE NEEDED STITCHES.
U. UNDERWATER HOCKEY, BEING PLAYED BY AN E-4 MARINE WATER 
SAFETY/SURVIVAL INSTRUCTOR IN NORTH CAROLINA. HE COLLIDED 
WITH ANOTHER MARINE AND DISLOCATED HIS SHOULDER. THIRTY 
DAYS OF LIGHT DUTY. 
V. VEGETATION, BEING TRIMMED FROM AROUND A CABLE BY A 
CIVILIAN IN JAPAN. HE HAD CLIMBED UP THE FIRST TWO RUNGS OF 
A TELEPHONE POLE, GRASPED THE TRIMMED VINE, FELL AND 
FRACTURED HIS ELBOW ON A TREE TRUNK.
W. WASP, BEING VIGOROUSLY AVOIDED BY AN AD2 IN NEW ORLEANS 
WHEN HE CUT HIS HEAD ON AN UNSPECIFIED CONTAINER. THE 
QUESTION IS, WHICH WOULD HAVE HURT WORSE?
X. X-RAY, REQUIRED BY A SERGEANT AFTER HE WAS LOWERING A 
CAR AFTER CHANGING A TIRE. THE VEHICLE SHIFTED WHILE HE WAS 
RELEASING THE JACK, AND HIS LEG WAS CAUGHT UNDERNEATH. 
DAMAGED TENDONS, TWO LOST DAYS, TWO WEEKS OF LIGHT DUTY.
Y. YUMA, WHERE A SERGEANT WAS RIDING HIS DIRT BIKE IN SOME 
FOOTHILLS. HE LET OFF THE GAS AS HE TOOK A JUMP AT 50 MPH. 
THE REAR OF THE BIKE RAISED UP, HE BAILED, TRIED TO TUCK 
AND ROLL, BUT HIT A WALL. FOUR BROKEN RIBS AND A PUNCTURED 
LUNG. THREE DAYS IN A HOSPITAL AND A MONTH OF LIMPDU.
Z. ZIP-TIE, BEING SLICED OFF A CURTAIN BY A CORPORAL IN 
NORTH CAROLINA WHEN HER HUSBAND HUGGED HER FROM BEHIND. THE 
RAZOR IN HER HAND CUT HER CHEEK AND CHIN.
2. HAVING EXHAUSTED THE ALPHABET, WE BID FAREWELL ONCE 
AGAIN. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, WATCH OUT FOR THOSE TODDLERS. 
SEE YOU NEXT TIME FOR MORE OF THE USUAL.//