Free Dating Profile Help
Monday January 12, 2009
It doesn't take a lot of creative thinking to understand why January is the best time of year for online dating sites. Not only have many people made New Years resolutions that focus on finding a date, getting a mate or bettering their relationship, but most of the sites offer some sort of incentive to join at this time of year to boot. And this year seems especially lucrative, as discussed in last week's blog roundup briefly via the LA Time's article, No Recession for Online Dating Sites.
But what if you aren't getting a proportionally larger number of responses to your dating profile - or worse, none at all? Maybe its time to spruce things up a bit, give someone else a chance to review your profile to see what's working for you and what isn't.
This is why, after several requests from readers, I'm offering some free dating profile help. Soon I'll be posting your questions and my suggestions, in the hopes that those of us who want to use the 'net as a source of dating prospects, have the best possible foot facing forward.
Related:
Dating Blog Roundup
Friday January 9, 2009
I haven't done a blog roundup in a while, which is a shame. There's so much great content being discussed right now, this the "Superbowl" of the dating season: where online dating site memberships soar, and couples start thinking about Valentine's Day. So without further ado...
Marc Evan Katz (who really needs to change his header now that he's married), has a brilliant dating advice piece whose title doesn't do it justice. The Most Important Dating Advice You'll Ever Hear -- Don't Do Anything, which houses one quote so amazing, I can't do it justice in a rewrite. "If he refuses to let you go, you have your husband. If he lets you leave, you have your freedom." Think about it.
There's No Recession for Online Dating Sites, says the LA Times this week. Which isn't surprising to me; I blogged about this same debate earlier last month in response to a study undertaken by eHarmony regarding Relationship Anxiety in an Economic Downturn.
Single Mom Seeking always gives me a laugh when I read her blog, and she hasn't let me down this week with a flurry of posts. My favorite, Is the Bachelor A Double Standard, talks about the bias towards single moms dating, as opposed to the seemingly romantic viewpoint that single dads trying to find a mate have found in today's media spotlight.
Seth over at the Dating Papers discusses how Winning Battles, Picking Fights helps and hinders any relationship, but is geared especially towards dating couples.
iDateWhite, an interracial dating blog, speaks about Dating and STDs, a topic the author and I discussed briefly on our respective Twitter streams (datingguide, idatewhite) before he openly shared his experiences and opinions. I say kudos to him for sharing so openly with his readers.
And speaking of tell all's on Twitter, Sex, Lies and Dating in the City (twitter: SINgleGirl) has shared her most recent date-that-never-was due to sickness, and why she found the object of her affections interesting at first in More Interesting.
How Long Do You Wait To Have Sex?
Saturday January 3, 2009
A handful of reader questions of late have focused on sex: when to have it, what frequency is normal, and what to do if one partner isn't into it. Coupled with some recent research study findings that women are seeking more casual dating relationships, and
another poll I conducted not that long about about whether or not readers were more interested in a
cup of tea or sex after a first date, I was left wondering just how long singles and couples (in general) wait to have sex.
Take the poll and let me know, but I'm also curious to hear your reasoning. Why do you wait or take the plunge early on? Does it depend on the relationship or the person you're dating? Has it evolved as you've gotten older, and is that evolution because of mere chronology, societal/peer pressure, or something else entirely?
Related:
Dating New Years Resolutions
Tuesday December 30, 2008
Do you have any dating-related New Years resolutions this year? I've solicited singles, couples and experts for their views and ideas, creating two New Years resolution lists that I think will be helpful to a lot of readers:
A couple of the suggestions - such as 39-year-old Megan Reese's of creating a 'Man Plan' for her dating life - are extensive yet focused, while others are simple shifts in one's worldview to improve either the relationships we are attracting, or those we already have. And then there is a whole other level of New Years resolution, and I've found two that are so above and beyond the norm (but fascinating!) that they deserved more than just a quick quip in an article.
The first comes from best selling authors and challenge creators Pastor Kerry Shook and his wife Chris. Their book, One Month to Live, suggest that those wanting a dramatic shift in their lives just need to think about what they'd do if they only had thirty days left. From one of their press releases:
"Arguably, resolutions fail because there's no sense of urgency. With a whole year ahead to reach the goal, it's easy to relegate it to the back burner or forget about it altogether. Indeed, in one study nearly 40 percent of respondents cite having too many other things to do as the reason for breaking their resolutions. But what if instead of just making resolutions you acted as if you had only 30 days to live and to really make a difference in your life?"
There are quite a few things I'd do differently were I to adopt this philosophy, I'll readily admit. I think we all would. But in my dating life? I've tried to live with no regrets in my romantic relationships, so I've only got one that immediately comes to mind. But since it involves someone who is happily partnered, I think this one is better off being kept to myself. Still, I'd be curious to see if this thought process would change any of your dating relationships, be they the ones you aspire to, or the ones you hope to create.
The second New Years resolution applies more to singles looking to date, or those wanting to get into a long term relationship this year. Neenah Pickett is a 42-year-old media consultant who has decided she's done with mere dating, and has decided to make 2009 the year she finds a husband. But what makes her story a bit different is that she's launching her own social networking site, 52Weeks2FindHim.com, in order to do it. Using the premise that many of us find our mates through the contacts we already have, Neena has decided to combine the Internet, along with a fair amount of help from her friends and the media, to find her mate. Will she succeed? I haven't a clue, but I admire her for putting it out there, and will definitely be following her journey over the next year to see how she fares. Her story reminds me of a friend who told me several years ago she was ending her relationship because her partner didn't want to get married and have kids -- AND that she'd be happily married to someone new and wonderful within the year. But she didn't just tell me this - she told everyone she knew. Within three months she was in a serious relationship with someone she'd never considered dating before, and now, just over two years later, they are happily married and the parents of an eight month old girl.
What about you? Have you ever gone to extreme lengths to find a date? Would you? Have you resolved to this year?
