Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief is the normal mourning that occurs when a patient or family
is expecting a death. Anticipatory grief has many of the same symptoms as
those experienced after a death has occurred. It includes all of the thinking,
feeling, cultural, and social reactions to an expected death that are felt by
the patient and family.
Anticipatory grief includes depression, extreme concern for the dying person,
preparing for the death, and adjusting to changes caused by the death.
Anticipatory grief gives the family more time to slowly get used to the reality
of the loss. People are able to complete unfinished business with the dying
person (for example, saying “good-bye,” “I love you,” or “I forgive you”).
Anticipatory grief may not always occur. Anticipatory grief does not mean that
before the death, a person feels the same kind of grief as the grief felt after
a death. There is not a set amount of grief that a person will feel. The
grief experienced before a death does not make the grief after the death last a
shorter amount of time.
Grief that follows an unplanned death is different from anticipatory grief.
Unplanned loss may overwhelm the coping abilities of a person, making normal
functioning impossible. Mourners may not be able to realize the total impact
of their loss. Even though the person recognizes that the loss occurred, he or
she may not be able to accept the loss mentally and emotionally. Following an
unexpected death, the mourner may feel that the world no longer has order and
does not make sense.
Some people believe that anticipatory grief is rare. To accept a loved one’s
death while he or she is still alive may leave the mourner feeling that the
dying patient has been abandoned. Expecting the loss often makes the
attachment to the dying person stronger. Although anticipatory grief may help
the family, the dying person may experience too much grief, causing the patient
to become withdrawn.
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