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I am a prisoner of UPS. Remind me never to ship anything to my apartment. about 9 hours ago from web |
I have such stubby thumbs. I need to find a plastic surgeon to get these suckers removed. Whoneedstohitthespacebaranyway. about 14 hours ago from web |
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Slow down driver! If this train exceeds the 8mph speed limit, it might tear a hole in the space-time continuum. 4:14 PM Jan 1st from Tweetie |
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The real 'Dread Hipster Roberts' has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Orange County. 3:58 PM Jan 1st from Tweetie |
I am having a good hair day! Everyone please stand back, don't disturb any of my tousles. 3:29 PM Jan 1st from web |
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Wait, there's been some sort of mistake. TODAY is Dec. 31st. We have to do this whole thing over again. 1:02 PM Jan 1st from txt |
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A ridiculous and fun party with @jack, 25 bottles of champagne, another party, another party, Thai food, what's next? 1:06 AM Jan 1st from Tweetie |
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