The next time (aka today after work) you get into fight of words and slaps with a fellow traveler on public transportation, just know that someone could be filming that shit! Make sure you look hot. Thankfully, this battle over a bus seat on San Francisco's Muni was captured on a dude's cell phone.

Apparently, the two ladies were fighting over a seat (aren't they always) when shit got really real! Basically, the argument consisted of the words: fuck, you, stupid, bitch. It's like I wrote the dialogue for this fight. Those are really the only words you know when you're battling a bitch over a seat!

After they blew air kisses at each other for a while, the fists started flying! AND HOW! I'm pretty sure I saw the Asian lady deliver a drop kick on the other chick. Damn. That is some Mortal Kombat shit. Level her up! The Fight Queen of Muni!

When video of the fight made its way on to YouTube, Muni said they are investigating the incident. They said the bus operator should have notified the SFPD about the fight, but they did not. That's because the bus driver was probably too busy betting on a winner.

VIA SFist

The power of the ginge cannot be stopped! Grace Coddington is Dlisted's Miss September and will go on to the Miss Hot Slut of the Year competition in January. Grace will battle it out against Vogue Evolution, Maru, Quween on the Scene, Kate Gosselin's Possum Hair, Susan Boyle, Uggs, Claire Cannucciari, and STAINS!

Participation in the talent competition is mandatory, so Grace better work on her shank eye and elegant scowl.

Thanks to all hos who voted!

Shauna Sand + Lucite + Plastic Hair Clip + Dirty LV Bag + A Bag of Milk = Elegance Personified - Hollywood Rag

This must be a record: George Clooney still has the same piece - Lainey Gossip

Steven Tyler is looking HOT in his swimsuit (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Why isn't CoCo's ass a permanent Twitter trending topic? - Hollywood Tuna

I see we're exporting our annoying famewhores to South Africa now - Egotastic!

Guy Ritchie does have a point - Holy Moly!

Levi Johnston is preparing for his Playgirl shoot by hitting the gym six times a week. Um, shouldn't be preparing by hitting the penis pump 7 days a week? - Towleroad

JHud and Punk's baby friend - Just Jared

Nicole Eggert still looks a million times hotter than Pamela Anderson - Popoholic

What in kadooze hell is Peter Facinelli doing with Jill Zarin? - Popsugar

Feminem kind of looks like ScarJo - Cityrag

Hos I want to party with: Stephanie Seymour - Popeater

Sideshow Bob gets all the chicks - Socialite Life

This is news: Miley Cyrus has quit Twitter - I'm Not Obsessed

Miley should take Noah with her - Celebitchy

(Image via INFDaily)

VIA Break

Over a month ago, Joe Francis and Brody Jenner's girlfriend Jayde Nicole got into a fight in the early morning hours at a night club in Los Angeles. It's still shocking that Jon Gosselin was not involved in this showdown of the assholes.

Jayde filed a $1 million lawsuit against Joe claiming she suffered multiple injuries including a black eye, swollen face, bruises all over her body and emotional distress. Well, here's the video courtesy of Radar!

Jayde says that in the video, she spots Joe trying to dry hump on one of her girlfriends. Jayde decided Joe needed to be cooled down, so she poured her glass of the sweet nectar all over him. Usually, alcohol makes a tampon soggy, but it only made Joe stronger. The dick bag flew into a rage, grabbed Jayde by the hair and pulled her through the crowd. It only took a quick second for a bunch of dudes to take Joe down and throw him out of the club. Jayde said she was left traumatized by the whole incident.

Now, I don't know if Joe Francis should be jailed for life for this, but I do know that he should be jailed for life for being Joe Francis. I also know that this clip could be used as advertising for whoever does Jayde's weave, because I didn't seen even one track flying.

Go ahead and pick up your genitals off the floor before reading on. Make sure to dust them off first.

So, sometimes justice is not served. For instance, take the case of the thong-wearing bicycle-riding pepawpaw of Tallahassee, FL. 55-year-old Richard Irby was busted after residents at a trailer park complained about him walking around in spandex panties with his limpy peenus out. Richard was charged with indecent exposure and a judge told him he can no longer ride around town with his wrinkly pancakes hanging out. Richard has to wear shorts that come down to his knees.

This is what I don't get. Lady CaCa is allowed to sashay through the streets of the world with her dick hanging out and you don't see her getting arrested! Yes, the sight of this bald bear with his belly bouncing around may give you cotton mouth in the vagina, but if he wants to do dry anal with a bike seat out in public, that's his RIGHT!

And the city of Tallahassee should be thankful that they don't have (NSFL) this piping hot grandpa with a mutant peen roaming their streets. Seriously, ole' dude's wang could star in a remake of Tremors.

Katie Price, who has made zillions of dollars from allowing cameras to shoot her every bowel movement, wasn't exactly thrilled with a group of paps yesterday. Katie Spears-ed the pappies by attacking them with her umbrella while screaming at them "get a fucking real job!" That was the punchline.

No, Katie didn't go full Cheeto by shaving her weave off for the occasion, but I'm sure her fat kitty is completely bald, so that sort of counts.

Katie's spokeswhore actually issued a statement about the non-incident: "Kate understands the nature of her job and generally co-operates with the media. But yesterday she said they were being very intrusive and had overstepped the mark."

Or maybe Katie was just in a rush to get home, because the rain was starting to wash away all the layers of orange diarrhea on her skin.

Who says that almost losing your finger every time you stick it in Vadge's Venus Fly Snatch doesn't pay off?! The Sun says that Madonna wants her child near her at all times, but she isn't ready to set up a nursery for him in her house, so she's buying him a shiny new crib of his very own! Apparently, Vadge has sent out her real estate slaves to find her kept child an apartment within walking distance to her own cougar den on the Upper East Side in Manhattan.

Some source who seems to know all about the situation said, "She's told them to spend no more than £1.7million and the pad has to be within walking distance of her townhouse. She is financing everything but Jesus will own it once it's found and bought. She really wasn't kidding when she told him he'll never have to worry about money from now on."

Baby Jesus' dick really does do miracles, because he's managed to turn Vadge's lady jizz into cash! We all have to start respecting Baby Jesus as one of the major players in the gold digging game.

56-year-old Shirley Rae Dieu of Irvine, CA went to Dr. Phil for therapy (mistake number one), but says she left his office more fucked up than when she got there. Yesterday, Shirley filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles claiming that during her therapy session with Dr. Phil in 2007, he molested her left booby, forced her to stare at a live nekkid man and refused to let her leave his Hollywood office. Basically, it sounds like a nightmare directed by David Lynch.

In the documents, Shirley says Dr. Phil brainwashed her by making her watch "tapings depicting her as a different personality other than her own." And about that nekkid dude thing, Shirley says Dr. Phil "forced her to be in the same room with a completely live naked man while he exposed his entire naked body, genitals and all."

Dr. Phil kept her captive in his office, and when she tried to get out of there, his staff stopped her. They also refused to let her sleep or eat. Shirley tells People that another woman is going to join her lawsuit. Shirley is asking for cash money, but the specific amount is not known yet.

Shirley is no stranger to suing a bitch. In 2002, she sued a hospital for malpractice. Two years ago, she also sued a car dealership. According to People, Shirley is acting as her own attorney.

Look at that face. If that face was looking at you while his hand was on your booby, you'd never recover. You would develop instant-cataracts, foam at the mouth uncontrollably and probably live under your backyard deck. I wouldn't be able to talk, let alone file a lawsuit. However, this is Dr. Phil she's talking about, and he's the skeeziest skeeze who ever skeezed, so let's believe it.

And what the fuck with the live (as opposed to dead) nekkid man thing? If that's what Dr. Phil considers therapy, make me a damn appointment.

In the new Harper's Bazaar, Tina Fey said that she's not about to get intimate with a botox needle anytime soon, because she doesn't want to look like a shiny candle. To be more specific, a holiday candle. Tina said, "You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don't think Botox is for me. I think it is bad. People who have too much, they look like their faces are full of candles — a shiny, shiny face." Festive, though. "Yes, festive. A holiday candle."

And now I can clearly see what Tina meant by this. When you skip into a Yankee Candle this holiday season, don't be too shocked if you see Nicole Kidman chilling on a shelf with a wreath around her neck and a wick on top of her head. In the clearance section, of course.

Here's Nicole Kidman at an Omega store in NYC looking surprisingly moist for someone who probably can't drink a glass of water without a surgeon carefully inserting a skinny straw into her mouth.