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Look, asshole, you can just stand there and gawk or you can give me a hand with this stubborn booger. about 8 hours ago from Hahlo |
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Jim can't wait until I'm injury-free. I get extra cunty when I can't run. about 23 hours ago from web |
The measure of the day's productivity is how much battery power is left on my iphone. 11:11 AM Dec 18th from Hahlo |
Today at work everyone brought in their favorite holiday treats. I think I just ate a fried graham cracker. The South is weird. 9:35 AM Dec 18th from Hahlo |
Oh just dropping my wallet in the toilet. After I finished my bidness. Like I do sometimes. 7:43 AM Dec 18th from Hahlo |
The thing he likes most about this show is how much I hate it. 5:03 PM Dec 17th from web |
Coworkers are fighting. I'm having flashbacks to childhood. I expect to be reassured after this meeting that they both still love me. 1:02 PM Dec 17th from Hahlo |
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New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day, bachelor(ette) parties: standing around at bars yelling "LOL drunk!" while not really having any fun. 8:14 AM Dec 17th from web |
"Are you air-humping to the Nutcracker?"
"Can you think of a more appropriate dance?" 6:23 PM Dec 16th from web |
He is more proud of his ability to turn me off than his ability to turn me on. With good reason. 4:01 PM Dec 16th from web |
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Today's highlight: company-wide email with one (1) attached powerpoint slide to announce the paper towels are now made from recycled paper. 6:55 AM Dec 16th from Hahlo |
Coffee and marshmallow wasn't the breakthrough in food pairings I hoped it would be. 5:04 AM Dec 16th from Hahlo |
I'm out of breath from eating. Prepare my rag on a stick. 7:58 PM Dec 15th from web |
Working late. Impressing no one by saying the packaging lines are "some Star Wars shit." 5:29 PM Dec 15th from Hahlo |
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Vanity plates are like mustaches. Everyone else's are stupid, but yours is clever. 6:23 AM Dec 15th from Hahlo |