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http://twitpic.com/udn6 - What has safety goggles and a hairnet and is working late on a Friday night? |
Look, asshole, you can just stand there and gawk or you can give me a hand with this stubborn booger. |
Is 9am too early to belt out Tobacco Road in your underbritches? http://is.gd/cvLy |
Jim can't wait until I'm injury-free. I get extra cunty when I can't run. |
The measure of the day's productivity is how much battery power is left on my iphone. |
Today at work everyone brought in their favorite holiday treats. I think I just ate a fried graham cracker. The South is weird. |
Oh just dropping my wallet in the toilet. After I finished my bidness. Like I do sometimes. |
The thing he likes most about this show is how much I hate it. |
Coworkers are fighting. I'm having flashbacks to childhood. I expect to be reassured after this meeting that they both still love me. |
@Flatulator I'm not anti-alcohol. I'm anti-fake fun. |
New Year's Eve, St. Patrick's Day, bachelor(ette) parties: standing around at bars yelling "LOL drunk!" while not really having any fun. |
"Are you air-humping to the Nutcracker?"
"Can you think of a more appropriate dance?" |
He is more proud of his ability to turn me off than his ability to turn me on. With good reason. |
@SeoulBrother Our green initiatives are really important so I drove around on my diesel-powered Rascal to leave a copy on everyone's desk. |
Today's highlight: company-wide email with one (1) attached powerpoint slide to announce the paper towels are now made from recycled paper. |
Coffee and marshmallow wasn't the breakthrough in food pairings I hoped it would be. |
I'm out of breath from eating. Prepare my rag on a stick. |
Working late. Impressing no one by saying the packaging lines are "some Star Wars shit." |
@gordonshumway Kids always love the cheapest stuff in the house. I give my nieces and nephews plastic shopping bags. Cheap and fun! |
Vanity plates are like mustaches. Everyone else's are stupid, but yours is clever. |
