The #twittersecret is that you can send DM's that are 255 characters long now. Also, I'm bad at keeping secrets. about 19 hours ago from web |
Ew. Sorry. There should have been a comment there. It's like a mitten for your hair (COMMA) attached to your vagina. Much less offensive. about 23 hours ago from web |
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Okay, offensive parts of my last post have been redacted upon request and instead replaced with less offensive jokes about the holocaust. 9:08 AM yesterday from web |
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For the first time ever I kind of regret publishing a post. I bet this is how the grinch felt when he realized what a bastard he was. 8:43 PM Dec 11th from web |
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I've eaten all of the grapes I was using for ovaries though so I'll have to use the marbles from Hailey's Hungry Hippos game instead. 6:49 AM Dec 11th from web |
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When I get home tonight I'll act her surgery out again using that song they always play when Darth Vadar walks into a room. 6:48 AM Dec 11th from web |
Fuck. It was just pointed out to me that Wagner was a possible nazi and my mangled cat is possibly Jewish. 6:47 AM Dec 11th from web |
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I tried to act it out using two grapes but she just got scared and hid under the bed. I think the background music I chose was too much. 6:36 AM Dec 11th from web |
I bet she's feel better if I could explain what happened to her using her ovaries as a visual aid but I can't because her vet is a dick. 6:35 AM Dec 11th from web |
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I tried to explain that the vet but obviously he *wants* his mechanic to rip him off. 6:33 AM Dec 11th from web |
Like when your mechanic changes the air filter you're supposed to ask for the old one so you know they changed it. 6:33 AM Dec 11th from web |
But they shouldn't because it's just like air filters. 6:33 AM Dec 11th from web |