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Question: "What do you want for Christmas?"
What she said: "A So-Chic Styling Salon!"
What I heard: "Feminist children's books!" about 8 hours ago from txt |
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Huh. Nowhere on my to-do list does it say "compulsively refresh Twitter." about 8 hours ago from web |
Dear Republicans: If you don't care to save auto workers' jobs, won't you consider their impact on the gun rack & TruckNutzĀ® industries? about 9 hours ago from web |
It's *possible* that I woke up on the "bitch" side of the bed today. about 13 hours ago from web |
"People are unfollowing me/ nobody's giving me enough @favrd votes/ whine/ whinge/ waaaah..." Sweet sparkly Jesus, shut the fucking fuck up. about 13 hours ago from TwitterBerry |
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Packing for trip, purpose of which is dogsitting for BFF's 3 mutts plus 3 moose-sized wolfhounds. 1st item in bag: Klonopin. For me. Mostly. about 14 hours ago from TwitterBerry |
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Guys? If you're actually trying to get a Shorty award? I'm going to assume something about your penis. about 15 hours ago from web |
Just remembered I'm supposed to be on a train to NC tomorrow. Tickets bought before party at his parents' was planned. What? They were, too! about 16 hours ago from TwitterBerry |
Tormenting myself over the grammar of earlier tweet in which I'd addressed another source of self-torment. It's fun to be me! about 19 hours ago from TwitterBerry |
Amazon has no recommendations for "relatives you don't speak to, but to whom you send gifts since if you didn't the anxiety would be worse." about 23 hours ago from web |
Thanks @eyeteegee for being my 1000th follower! Though you're not the best candidate for the lesbian sex joke I'd planned (hint: "4 digits") 11:42 PM Dec 10th from web |
Vortex of Parenting Hell: Yelling at teenager for her yelling an accusation that you'd been yelling at her when you weren't (until you did). 4:58 PM Dec 10th from txt |
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"Sorry, but you don't act like someone who'd be on medical assistance."
"Would you prefer I said 'give my daughter her antibiotics, bitch?'" 2:43 PM Dec 10th from txt |