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The universe is expanding. That should help ease the traffic. 10:08 AM Jun 18th from web |
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good. 1:22 PM May 8th from web |
I'm thinking about buying a plasma television in case I need a blood transfusion. 6:00 AM Apr 14th from web |
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. 5:07 PM Apr 13th from web |
I bought a new camera. It's very advanced. You don't even need it. 9:42 AM Mar 25th from web |
My nephew has HDHDTV -- High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder. He can barely pay attention, but when he does it unbelievably clear. 9:32 AM Mar 11th from web |
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When I get real bored, I drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving. 9:39 AM Nov 28th, 2007 from web |
I have a map of the United States... actual size. It says, "Scale: 1 mile = 1 mile." I spent last summer folding it. 7:17 AM Nov 20th, 2007 from web |
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I bought a new iPod. It can either hold 5,000 songs or one telephone message from my mother. 1:10 PM Aug 30th, 2007 from web |
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I asked my girlfriend is she's ever had sex with a woman. She said "no." I said "you should try it, it's fun." 7:52 PM Jul 22nd, 2007 from web |
I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks like I'm the only one moving. 9:32 PM Jun 28th, 2007 from web |