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I've got your stimulus package right here. |
Because of rampant lay-offs,
Fridays at my firm are less casual now,
and more
HOLY SHIT I'LL SUCK YOUR ASS CRACK TO KEEP MY JOB!!! |
GM?
I've got a bail-out plan for you.
Make the EV-1.
AGAIN.
This time?
Don't take them AWAY. |
Me: I'm pretty OCD about the sex I have.
Her: I see. You're pretty anal about it?
Me: There is nothing pretty about the anal. I promise. |
PETA now selling coffins with animal rights slogans painted on them.
The Union of Cremators protests at the factory
by throwing baby seals. |
Thursday: Friday-ish. |
Whenever I doubt that there is a God
I look to my family at the holidays.
And then I curse him. |
@Mike_FTW "Spending in this tunnel"?
More like, spending in HIS tunnel.
CALL IN NOW, MIKE! |
I couldn't call in gay because SOMEONE has to "man the business". |
Illinois: Land of Lincoln Rolling Over in His Grave. |
He's pre-op for gastric bypass.
She's a post-op Frenchman.
Crime fighter lovers,
they're OPERATION: L'IMPOSSIBLE. |
Judi Dench is 74 today.
And, I don't mind saying, the LOOSEST Bond girl I ever put my face into. |
Now Favrd is just being mean. |
The McDonald's in my building no longer delivers.
Now my risk for heart attack has tripled because I have to climb down a flight of stairs. |
At the father-daughter dance.
Kid Rock song playing about whiskey, pot, and sex.
I'd mind, but my kid is already drunk, high, and pregnant. |
Fight with the wife at breakfast.
Couldn't even finish my meal.
Of course, I ate all the bacon. |
@smartasshat Your reply was so laden with irony,
I am no longer anemic. |
Have a great weekend tweeps. |
Friday: when 3:00 is the new 5:30. |
We all know OJ is REALLY going away for stealing
95's Worst Supporting Actor Razzie from Shatner in Star Trek:Generations.
Also some murder. |
