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@Krewell @TroyAker @thepeoplegeek They say great minds think alike. Maybe some of them can figure out what's wrong with you sick pups. |
Sad correction, kids: I'm told Ms MacRae is deceased. So (1) I got zero shot; and (2) some of you junior Sherlocks need to get laid. Pronto! |
@hmargulies Thanks for the appetizing image, pal. May your next chili dog be rubbed against by a syphilitic whore. That was one of Carson's. |
BTW, just kidding about Meredith MacRae. She's still a beautiful, classy lady. Also, she doesn't read Twitter so I think I still got a shot. |
@JimmyRay_Purser Spent the day @ the VFW w/old Navy buddies, sharing gruesome war stories. Lotsa crying. Then I realized I was in a Denny's. |
@bamboozlde What's bus fare these days, a buck fifty? Okay, a buck fifty then, smartass. |
Guess who housesat for me while I was in Vegas? Gavin MacLeod, of TV's "Love Boat"! Needless to say, my apartment now smells like dead hobo. |
Kids, a friendly FYI from your Uncle Soupy. Your Twitterrank and fifty cents'll get you a drunken handjob from Meredith McRae. |
my Twitterank is 89.56! http://twitterank.com |
@hmargulies Kid, I knew Bea Benaderet. Bea Benaderet was a friend. And you...could actually be Bea Benaderet, with more hair on your tits. |
@bamboozlde Thanks for the latest from Mars, kid, but what's happening here on planet Earth? |
Holy cow what a crazy week! Me, Tim Conway, two juicy cocktail waitresses and a case of Chivas? Nuff said! So what's new in the world, kids? |
@Moeskido What they oughta bring is an ambulance. Johnny Mac's looking uglier than what I coughed up into my Ensure smoothie this morning! |
Saw McCain on TV last night. I ain't seen a face like that since I woke up next to Jack Elam after a five-day bender at the Stardust. Yow! |
You kids don't know hard times. In '49 when I started at WKRC, I was so poor I had to make soup out of Glenn Ryle's used dress socks. Salty! |
Joining me at Tao: my gal pal Shylah, who'll flash her bazoombas at the crowd, then scream "What the fuck you looking at, bitch?" Big laffs! |
Kids, don't miss my exciting show at Tao in Vegas Friday. I'll be out front telling the punk kid bouncer I'm SOUPY FUCKING SALES GOD DAMMIT. |
Sure, she's no Loni Anderson, but if you've never shtupped Charlotte Rae in an airplane john, you got nothin' to say... |
What's with these wacky reefer pictures they're making now? I want to see a bunch of goofballs making retarded jokes, I got Twitter. |
Kids, look up "helluva guy" in the dictionary, you'll find @larrykcolumn. Then tell him to answer his phone, the prick owes me five large. |
![Beni [tankboy]](https://webarchive.library.unt.edu/web/20081208103308im_/https://s3.amazonaws.com/twitter_production/profile_images/51515942/374924_mini.jpeg){kind=small}
