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Flicking wistfully through the double issue Radio Times to see which festive TV highlights I'll miss while the family has the Wii plugged in |
I am very tempted to snap up http://twitter.com/stevenfry in order to ensnare dyslexic followers of the erudite Norfolk wordsmith |
I think the residents of the flat upstairs have bought a bouncy hippopotamus and put lead-lined Dr Martens on its feet. The bastards. |
One phone call to Daily Mail Online Picture Editor, one apology ("we're not supposed to do that"), no financial demands made, photo removed. |
The Daily Mail has used my IKEA photo (http://tinyurl.com/5rygkz) on their website (http://tinyurl.com/68br7s), uncredited. I spit on them |
If you ever see me order a "SoCo" in a bar, please slap me hard. |
Thanks to a person under a train and a miserable hissy fit nightbus driver, getting home from Oxford St has taken over 2hrs. I hate you all. |
Supporting Boris's new cultural initiative by spending the evening at the theatre in the suburbs |
Time for the obligatory "Ooh, blimey! It's snowing! But not very much!" Twitter message |
Trapped on the Central line with the notorious scrounging accordionist and his six year old cup-wielding henchman |
I want to slap the idiot who shut the Circle line, the middle of the District line, the middle of the Jubilee line and 90% of the DLR. Hard. |
Just passed wotsisname the albino Big Brother 9 housemate walking his evil-looking mutt by the Serpentine (ah the transience of fame) |
There's a job advert for Black Rod in today's paper, if anyone fancies being paid for dressing up in tights and banging on doors |
Mmmm, cup of tea and a (half price) hot cross bun |
Pause, reflect |
"Tonight on the X Factor it's Mariah Carey Night." Are there any more depressing phrases in the English language? |
I <3 concrete cows |
I really must learn to go to bed earlier |
When your Twitterstream has 12 consecutive posts all from the same Twitterer, it'd be nice if Twitter offered a "1 hour ignore" button :o) |
Ghastly inappropriate spelling mistake seen scribbled on passenger information board at Holborn tube: http://tinyurl.com/5gxx68 |
