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Scott Simpson’s Favorites

hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies @scottsimpson Try dipping your burdock chips into the crabgrass and minnow ceviche.
Charles Hope
charleshope @scottsimpson no, but in NYC we can enjoy pigeon with park-foraged greens.
hotdogsladies
hotdogsladies If I listen to _Rumors_ just 3 more times this week, I win a monogrammed coke spoon and a throaty duet with either Tom Petty or Don Henley.
Ben Compton
bcompton Used dryer sheets roll through our house like tumbleweed.
John Dickerson
jdickerson Boy the font the gas company uses to write Discontinuance Notice is really ugly. And that blazing red color. Ghastly. I'm not paying.
Ron Richards
ronxo Agnostic front is sound chcecking. This may be my last tweet ever #last_tweet_ever
Pete Alcorn
palcorn Listening to Radio Lab cover duck rape. Nope, not a typo. Last laugh is on The Donald.
girlhack
girlhack As promised, @scottsimpson is a scared-y cat
Jesse Thorn
youngamerican @scottsimpson I'd say they're disappointed -- too many points are being scored.
Adam Koford
apelad @scottsimpson The answer is simple. They hate soccer.
Jake
jakematic @scottsimpson Its related to psychosexual S&M training by their mistress. Oops, Mistress. I am not worthy Ma'am.
Nick Douglas
nick There's a lot of money in the "Awards For The People Who Least Deserve Them" industry. (Wisdom like that got me a page in "Who's Who.")
johnroderick
johnroderick :Went with friend to buy gifts for his new girlfriend, a scary prospect: "Will she like this scarf? Or these beads? Bits of mirror? Thread?"
hodgman
hodgman Tonight's reading=fun and subterranean. Like we were all hanging out in somebody's dad's rec room. A dad who loves cookbooks and TWILIGHT
Erika Hall
mulegirl Hey guys, you need anything from Costco?
cockerham
cockerham Emergency! Does anyone know where I can find replacement chocolates for December 11-24 of a Cadbury Advent calendar?
Remiel
Remiel Abridged audio books : big, smelly piles of shit :: big, smelly piles of shit : big, smelly piles of shit
Jordan_Morris
Jordan_Morris I hope before I leave this winter wonderland I get to see a poofy fox running through the snow.
Jesse Thorn
youngamerican In my mind, Twitter is a sort of affirmation of an important life choice I made around age 17: pick friends solely based on funniness.
Jordan_Morris
Jordan_Morris Dear 13-year-old-Jordan: We've sold out. BUT we get free video games. Are we okay with this? Love, Current Jordan
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