How to Peer Edit Like a Pro
Student frequently come to the lab because they need help with their peer editing skills. Don't feel bad. Peer editing is difficult and takes practice. In order to help you improve your skills, we have provided you with a video of a peer review session. Please watch the video, and then look at the sample paper below.
This essay is the one the peer reviewers are discussing in the video, and it includes the written comments made by the group members.
How Sweet Home
Spices, elephants, coconuts, curry powder, jungles and oceans are all words that remind me of home. Everyone has the "special" place that they call their own. This can be a place for people to think, relax, or to just be able to escape from all the chaos in their world for just a moment's time. For me, this place is India. I am an Indian born, American raised, young woman trying to live my life by having to balance both cultures. Although I have lived a great deal of my life in America, India is where I come from, and it gives me a form of identity.
I like your intro—especially the opening sentence, but some of the sentences in the middle are boring and don't say as much. Do you need them?
As a child, growing up was difficult. Since I am the eldest child, a lot of the influences in my life were from my parents. My parents did not know perfect English, but they were the only people I had to teach me. Therefore, when I was taught English, I learned it with an accent and several grammatical errors. I also was financially unable to dress like other kids, so I had to wear cultural clothing that I had from India. My trouble with the English language, and not being able to dress like the other kids, brought up major problems for me when I entered school. When I went to school, there were not many foreign students, so I was different to other kids at school and they would tease and ridicule me for the way I spoke, and the way I dressed. I would be ashamed to admit that I was Indian because of this, and sometimes, I would have such a strong hatred for it that I was even embarrassed to look Indian. As each year of my life went by, I matured greatly and cared less and less about fitting into a group; and I was proud to be different, to be from a place that a large majority of the people had only seen in pictures. I was proud to be Indian. Since the media dictated most of people's life, and still does, I noticed how all of society was changing themselves to look a certain way, which was basically like everyone else. People wanted to receive that feeling of acceptance to know that they belong. I received a sense of satisfaction when people asked me, "what ethnicity are you," and with a smile of confidence and pride I was able to say, "I'm Indian!" Many people do not know their backgrounds or where they come from and me knowing about my heritage and where I originated from makes India all the more special to me.
Can you give more information? I would like to know how old you were when your family moved, why they moved, etc.
You are doing more telling than showing. Could you share one specific incident with a lot of good detail? I want to be able to picture what your life was like.
I'm not sure how we got from your childhood to the media. What is the connection?
When did this change occur? Did something special make you feel pride in your heritage?
As I have learned to love and appreciate the country of my birth, I also started to learn about ancient cultures and traditions that come from there. India is one of many old countries that have existed in this world for thousands of years. Since America does not have many traditions, it is always nice to go back to India and see all sorts of events that take place there. In different parts of India, you are bound to see ceremonies, celebrations and dances going on throughout the city. The streets of India are constantly filled with the familiar scents of curry and other traditional foods. These scents rush to your senses with such strength that you could almost taste them. They people of India dress elephants up to partake in the ceremonies and rituals. They roam the streets like it was the jungle. The women walk around with traditional Indian clothing: long silk or cotton garments wrapped around them with the appropriate accessories. They wear decorative bangles on their arms, nose rings in their nose, a bindhi in the middle of their forehead and jingles around their ankles, so that every time they walked you could hear them coming from afar. Some of the women even have art work on their hands and feet, which is something that distinguishes Indians from other cultures. Along with the ceremonies and traditional attire, several languages are spoken throughout the country. One advantage to being Indian is that you're able to learn another language. For me, knowing two languages is one of my favorite characteristics about myself. The language I speak is called Malayalam. I've spoken that all my life; it's the first language I was raised speaking. When I go to school now, my friends are eager to listen to me speak it and some of them even wish they could speak another language. I was drawn to Indian culture and I was enthusiastic to learn about the traditions, rituals and the language. The more I learned about it, the more willing I was to accept the culture as part of me.
Something important must have happened to make you change so much, but I'm still not sure what it is.
Pretty good detail, especially the smell, but what about the colors? Also, some of the early part of this paragraph is vague—do you need all of it?
What kind of art work is on their hands and feet? Can you describe it?
In the Indian community, family is very important to us. Many of my friends are able to see any members of their family whenever they want, but for me and several of my other Indian friends, it is hard for us to see our grandparents because they never immigrated to America. Since my family and I are only able to go to India every two to three years, I very rarely see my Ammachie (grandma), and Appachen (grandpa). This is one of the reasons that I cherish India. Not only is it my grandparents but also my Aunts, Uncles, and cousins that I see when I go. It is sort of like a big family reunion. Even though we are only able to stay in India for a short amount of time we use up every second of it by spending it with the people we love. I wish I could be like my friends and see my grandparents whenever I want, but I can't, so I take advantage of the time I get to spend with them. When I was born, they were the ones that took care of me and watched out for me. Not being able to see them can be hard, but I know that their happy living in India because they wouldn't be happier any place else.
You really explain why you miss your family, but how does this relate to your thesis? How do your relatives in India give a sense of your own identity?
I like the way you include the Indian words—it's cool.
I know my special place is a place that I can't realistically go whenever I please, but I have come up with my own picture of it in my mind; and I can escape there any time I want. I love the feeling that I receive when I am able to say that I am from India and at the same time being able to live in a whole different world. India has taught me so many different things in life that I'm grateful for. It's made me the person I am today. George Moore once said, "a man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it." In some way, I left my home to find myself and where I fit in, only to return to where I started, India.
I really like the quote you use here. But is this conclusion longer than it needs to be?
As you can see, the people in the video are excellent peer reviewers. They weren't always this good, but by following these tips, they greatly improved their skills:
Understand the difference between criticism and constructive criticism—criticism is negative commentary that will not help a writer improve his or her paper. An example of criticism could include, "This paper is boring." Or "You don't write very well." Constructive criticism provides the writer with specific useful advice: "Paragraph two would be more effective if you gave specific examples of the health problems you mention," or "Could you use more sensory detail when you are describing your grandmother's house?"
Be honest with the writer—no one likes to hurt another person's feeling, but you won't help your group members improve their writing by saying "Your essay if good. I like it," or "Good job." Positive commentary is great, but your group members need your honesty more.
Focus on both the positive and the negative—a good way to help a writer understand when his or her writing is weak, is by comparing it to his or her writing that is strong: "In the first paragraph you really kept my attention by using dialogue. Could you do that in the rest of the paper?"
Be specific—general comments are not very useful. When someone says your paper contains errors, you may shake your head and wonder "What kind of errors?" You might feel as though you were hunting for a needle in a hay stack. On the other hand, if someone says, "None of your paragraphs have clear topic sentences, you know exactly what to work on.
