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@amiev Oh, you're killing me with the straight lines! I'll go to bed now and leave that followup joke to @sloganeerist. |
@amiev (I was gonna say "the squirrels" but that's just wrong... squirrels don't crack, they smoosh.) |
@amiev That's what the pecans said. |
@amiev Luckily for us, both pecans and squirrels can be made into pies. |
@joespake True, but I'm okay with being intellectually superior to my realtor. I will never remind you of that fact. |
@GatesofMemphis Exactly! And your eyes would bug out 100x normal size. Then you'd splatter like a badly fried egg: funny, not horrifying. |
@amiev @gatesofmemphis Ripe pecans can also be deadly, but nobody will admit being killed by a nut, so the statistics ignore the true story. |
@loudersoft That depends if the cheese = cream or havarti. |
@joespake I got 64%. Bring back the Equal Rights Party! |
Street's already cold, rain's falling in prefrozen state, and I've got coffee, beer, milk, TP & gas aplenty. Ain't gonna be no ice storm. |
@MemphisFlyer Bruce totally stole my line... I demand credit! http://tinyurl.com/6oa959 |
@amiev @gatesofmemphis Limbs are the only danger; a whole tree falls in slow motion & it's LOUD. But then, those are some big-ass limbs |
@GatesofMemphis @amiev The poor guy was driving along Audubon Park when a tree crushed his car. It didn't mean to. |
Ice ice baby? Bring it on! |
@MemphisFlyer An act of war? Nahhh. Remember, Bush had a grenade tossed at him in Georgia (Republic of, not state). Shoes are no biggie. |
@LameBush Oh, George. I'll never forget you. |
@sloganeerist Good call. It'll be easier in a few months, after he's dropped his guard. |
Okay, this is hard to talk about but... yes, I overdosed on peppermint patties today. If my story can help one other person, it's worth it. |
Normally I'd be polite, but any fighter pilot who thinks it's funny to scrape treetops in midtown deserves a hearty "fuck you, dumbass!" |
The upside of having no "real" job is I'm not scared of layoffs. My toddler fired me twice yesterday, but I exercised my fallback rights. |
