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As I sit down to compose my entry for the writing competition, I hear the lyrics "Her stories are boring and stuff" taunting me. 1:16 PM Dec 9th from web |
The holiday season seems to really bring out the asshole in people. 8:14 AM Dec 9th from web |
Today's Spanish Rice in the crock pot much better than yesterday's Caldo de Pollo (or what will be remembered as Caldo de Culo). 12:49 PM Dec 7th from web |
Am I the only one who thought it was "the quid pro quo" instead of "the Cuervo Gold" in Hey Nineteen? 1:21 PM Dec 4th from web |
What is it about eggnog that makes it taste so delicious? Ah, yes. It's the bourbon. 6:44 PM Dec 3rd from web |
I have a friend who always calls me, "Fatso." He's kidding, right? 2:25 PM Dec 3rd from web |
Dinner I cooked for eight? Done. Dishes? Done. Two half bottles left on the table? On their way to my stomach. It was a lovely b-day indeed. 9:08 PM Dec 1st from web |
Today my walking partner and I reached an all time low when mid-trail we stopped at Taco Cabana for breakfast tacos. 10:33 AM Dec 1st from web |
I won't go into how I know this, just trust me when I say, "Waxing yourself is never a good idea." 9:35 PM Nov 30th from web |
Regarding that last twit: I forgot to add, "by someone's father." 10:35 PM Nov 28th from web |
I was just called a cheatin (at Catch Phrase) hoe then kicked out of a dinner party. 10:12 PM Nov 28th from txt |
Today my mother asked my vegan ex-brother-in-law if he eats normal food yet. 7:10 PM Nov 27th from web |
My father just had me listen to studio recordings of his country singing (five songs). Fine. I'm jealous. 2:19 PM Nov 27th from web |
This Thanksgiving brought to you by the letters E-L-I-J-A-H C-R-A-I-G and by the number Xanax. 6:58 AM Nov 27th from web |
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Drinking whiskey. Preparing the bird for tomorrow. Listening to "Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta." And it do. 7:51 PM Nov 26th from web |
Well, this is perfect. It's the day before Thanksgiving and my fat jeans fit like a glove. Tomorrow I wear a muumuu. 12:19 PM Nov 26th from web |