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crispycracka

...My parents don't buy presents for whoever loses- that's how they save $ for next year. (It's also how they preserve family honor.)
Last year, my brothers & I all got Swiss Army knives in our stockings. Then we had our annual Christmas knife-fight in the backyard.
@Kalli Bu-cookie!!! I'd still eat them. What?! I would. Cookies are cookies.
I dream of a coffee shop on the right hand side of my morning commute. I can't turn left til I've had my coffee.
So, um- is it considered Grand Theft Auto if you accidentally drove the wrong car home? Can't you just leave a written apology & a cookie?
"I think you sent me a message, but I never got it." Nice try, creepy guy on Facebook. Nice try.
I think I'd find babies easier to warm up to if they meowed instead of cried.
Ya huh- they DO have penguins in Australia! (Only they call them "koala bears" there).
Wait- so instead of this whole being sick ruse I've been putting on, I could've just called in gay today? I gave myself a fever for nothing.
@crispycracka just learned it is best to drink Theraflu while sitting up. Damned gravity and stuff. Am pathetic when sick.
@crispycracka is about to Theraflu herself into a coma.
Also? I would like a Viking funeral. With lots of cookies.
My fever has reached 102°. I do not want my dying words to be about old cheese, so uh- "boobs".
Know how it's awesome when you find money in your coat when you take it outta storage? Well, I just found a slice of cheese in mine.
Dude- I make sniffling sexy.
I'm going to start drunk photoshopping tiny owls into all my pictures.
I have no problem eating random food that shows up in my mailbox.
@kirtenz Ummm- I'm AT the Cantina, yo. If you'd ever stop freaking talking you would see me ACROSS THE TABLE.
Girl gave her brother all her quarters cuz she"doesn't like that guy's hair" By this rationale I should buy new shoes cuz Grant looks grumpy
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