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...My parents don't buy presents for whoever loses- that's how they save $ for next year. (It's also how they preserve family honor.) |
Last year, my brothers & I all got Swiss Army knives in our stockings. Then we had our annual Christmas knife-fight in the backyard. |
@Kalli Bu-cookie!!! I'd still eat them. What?! I would. Cookies are cookies. |
I dream of a coffee shop on the right hand side of my morning commute. I can't turn left til I've had my coffee. |
So, um- is it considered Grand Theft Auto if you accidentally drove the wrong car home? Can't you just leave a written apology & a cookie? |
"I think you sent me a message, but I never got it." Nice try, creepy guy on Facebook. Nice try. |
I think I'd find babies easier to warm up to if they meowed instead of cried. |
Ya huh- they DO have penguins in Australia! (Only they call them "koala bears" there). |
Wait- so instead of this whole being sick ruse I've been putting on, I could've just called in gay today? I gave myself a fever for nothing. |
@crispycracka just learned it is best to drink Theraflu while sitting up. Damned gravity and stuff. Am pathetic when sick. |
@crispycracka is about to Theraflu herself into a coma. |
Also? I would like a Viking funeral. With lots of cookies. |
My fever has reached 102°. I do not want my dying words to be about old cheese, so uh- "boobs". |
Know how it's awesome when you find money in your coat when you take it outta storage? Well, I just found a slice of cheese in mine. |
Dude- I make sniffling sexy. |
I'm going to start drunk photoshopping tiny owls into all my pictures. |
I have no problem eating random food that shows up in my mailbox. |
@kirtenz Dutchapalooza! |
@kirtenz Ummm- I'm AT the Cantina, yo. If you'd ever stop freaking talking you would see me ACROSS THE TABLE. |
Girl gave her brother all her quarters cuz she"doesn't like that guy's hair" By this rationale I should buy new shoes cuz Grant looks grumpy |
