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Beep.’s Favorites

adactio @stefsull Being smart doesn't require faith. Quite the opposite. "Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt." — Feynman... about 5 hours ago from web in reply to stefsull

shoesonwrong The unspoken rule in wig shops is when you're trying on the wigs and a car drives by, you pretend to be a mannequin. about 6 hours ago from twitterrific

wryredhead Trying to keep Toddler off of the f-bomb by teaching him to say "fiddlesticks". He pronounces it "fuck it". #FAIL about 7 hours ago from web

zeldman Man goes into a bar, orders cranberry juice. Bartender says, "Alcoholic?" Man says, "Does it show?" about 8 hours ago from Hahlo

darthvader Tarkin says we have to make cut backs. Stupid union clone troopers make $70 an hour and naturally, there's like a million of them. about 9 hours ago from twitterrific

waxpancake Just got spammed by Bill Cosby for his Oakland show next year. After sending me a cease-and-desist, they must've put me on the mailing list. about 11 hours ago from web

CcSteff Someone is sending "LOL where u at" text messages to my work cell. I can only assume it's @MISSY_BOO. As usally. about 13 hours ago from Hahlo

scottnelle @beep reveals the purpose of Peter Gallagher's eyebrows: To protect his eyes from watermelon particles when he encounters regular Gallagher. about 13 hours ago from web in reply to beep

drinkerthinker Hotel, fsck you and your two-foot-long ethernet cord. about 13 hours ago from web

fireland That homeless guy who sleeps on my car? Well he and I are wearing the same jeans today and his ass looks about a zillion times hotter. Grr! about 14 hours ago from web

cowpiesurprise My Xbox 360 is black so you know it was more expensive. It needs some chrome, though, like Priest's car in Super Fly. about 14 hours ago from twitterrific

drinkerthinker Body is happy we slept 11 hours. Belly is unhappy we're not fed yet. about 15 hours ago from web

Renaud if you get an email with a subject, "You Deserve This" odds are you do NOT deserve it and/or want it. about 15 hours ago from twitterrific

greghoyboy Switched to Acela in an effort to beat the increasingly delayed regional. Now Acela is delayed. Maybe I'll now buy a coffee and throw it out about 15 hours ago from mobile web

cowpiesurprise There's still room for inventiveness in irony, but nobody told nerdcore hip hop. about 16 hours ago from Hahlo

adactio Wondering when people will realise that TechC*nt is no better than Valleywag. about 19 hours ago from web

drewm Would like to point out, once again, that it's great working with @maxvoltar. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

drewm Words the internet has given us #142: alloneword. about 20 hours ago from twitterrific

hotdogsladies It's pretty hard to get out of jury duty unless you're comfortable dressing up as a confederate general who happens to be in blackface. about 23 hours ago from web

askrom Saying "Twitter isn't journalism!" isn't as stodgy as it sounds. It's like saying "Journalism isn't history!", which is perfectly sensible. about 23 hours ago from twitterrific

Beep.’s Favorites

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