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The makers of Old Milwaukee gave up on refining it's taste once they realized Milwaukee will always taste like old cheese mixed with regret. |
Office holiday party tonight is at local zoo's jungle. Resisting the urge to don a moustache, monocle & a slouch hat while shouting "Bully!" |
Dear FX,
While my kids & I enjoyed your showing of Daddy Day Care, we probably could've done without the Plan B Emergency Contraceptive ads. |
@BarbInNebraska Is that the episode where they talk about 15 everyday uses for unleavened bread? ;) |
The White House transition team is accepting suggestions on what to do with Bush's vast collection of "Dorf on Golf" VHS tapes. |
@courtneyisneato You did not seriously just say "mapquest it" |
Tomorrow marks the 12th consecutive year I've successfully used jedi mind tricks to avoid Lincoln's star city parade. Here's to 12 more yrs. |
The Las Vegas Tourism Authority must pleased with OJ's conviction, as he proves their maxim "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas". |
@kZink Are you requiring that everyone at brightmix must have a concealed fun permit? |
@badbanana Don't you have anything else to drink? |
OH at little big horn: "Wow. That's a lot of indians." #6wordepitaph |
@shartley Seconded. Motion carried. |
"I thought that Chupacabra tasted funny." #6wordepitaph |
Pancreatic cancer better watch out because nobody puts Swayze in a corner. |
Cause of death listed on the trampled Wal*Mart employee's death certificate? Low prices.
Still to soon? |
@jhiner1978 I agree, but I think it's already been done. |
@zachleat All valid points which, rest assured, will be addressed once I appoint my Chief of "Staff". |
@detweiler In these tumultous economic times, everyone can appreciate a gift made in their name to The Human Fund - http://twurl.nl/h8o7jl |
That's it, I'm buying a lottery ticket. If I win, I'm opening 'My Pants'. Consider this your official invite. |
