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AntoniaCornwell

@winjer No smoking bowels without ring of fire, my old mother used to say.
Me: "We could do a book of porn cross-stitch." Ian "Or just a book of porn! People always like books with pictures of naked people fucking."
Pinned to my chair by ill, grizzling, whining, snotty toddler who only lets me get up to fetch her more fruit juice. Bored shitless.
@sarahbrown I've got lumps of it round the back.
Partied like it was 1999. Aching like it's 2051.
Going out to party like it's 1999. Tomorrow, nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises. Thank you.
Idea for a new law. If you make someone else's child ill, that child then lives in your house until its nose has stopped running.
Okay. NOW we';re ruttin gliek weasles. Sorry aboiut the typos.
Ian's first day off while Esme is at nursery. I know we should be rutting like crazed weasels, but we're just basking in how quiet it is.
@sarahbrown Is it 1. in your hair 2. floating in chunks in the bathtub? (People who don't get your updates are going to be wondering wtF.)
Me: 'What does transcendental mean?' Ian: 'Going beyond your teeth, I think.'
For next 20 minutes, nobody around but me. Lovely. Only thing to ruin the silence was the POIP as I uncorked the port.
@sarahbrown By an extraordinary coincidence, there's one on our kitchen table.
Sometimes when I'm reading blogs I just want to leave a comment that says BRAAAAAIIINS!!
@stephenfry http://twittearth.com/ is a prettier version of everytweet that you might enjoy.
Bring me your freezing, boring, bleak November day, and I will take you to Borough Market's mulled-wine stall and make you glad it's winter.
At London Bridge tube, signs for disabled lift point wrong way, suggesting those in wheelchairs should throw themselves under the trains.
http://tiny.cc/a1fyg I can't tell you how funny this is in 140 characters or less. Please just read it.
Esme just made Nick go all the way upstairs to the top bathroom, where she told him to wash. Then she let him come back downstairs again.
@stephenfry http://twitpic.com/lcxg - I got this for Christmas one year. I've wet the bed ever since.
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