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@winjer No smoking bowels without ring of fire, my old mother used to say. |
Me: "We could do a book of porn cross-stitch." Ian "Or just a book of porn! People always like books with pictures of naked people fucking." |
Pinned to my chair by ill, grizzling, whining, snotty toddler who only lets me get up to fetch her more fruit juice. Bored shitless. |
@sarahbrown I've got lumps of it round the back. |
Partied like it was 1999. Aching like it's 2051. |
Going out to party like it's 1999. Tomorrow, nobody make any sudden movements or loud noises. Thank you. |
Idea for a new law. If you make someone else's child ill, that child then lives in your house until its nose has stopped running. |
Okay. NOW we';re ruttin gliek weasles. Sorry aboiut the typos. |
Ian's first day off while Esme is at nursery. I know we should be rutting like crazed weasels, but we're just basking in how quiet it is. |
@sarahbrown Is it 1. in your hair 2. floating in chunks in the bathtub? (People who don't get your updates are going to be wondering wtF.) |
Me: 'What does transcendental mean?' Ian: 'Going beyond your teeth, I think.' |
For next 20 minutes, nobody around but me. Lovely. Only thing to ruin the silence was the POIP as I uncorked the port. |
@sarahbrown By an extraordinary coincidence, there's one on our kitchen table. |
Sometimes when I'm reading blogs I just want to leave a comment that says BRAAAAAIIINS!! |
@stephenfry http://twittearth.com/ is a prettier version of everytweet that you might enjoy. |
Bring me your freezing, boring, bleak November day, and I will take you to Borough Market's mulled-wine stall and make you glad it's winter. |
At London Bridge tube, signs for disabled lift point wrong way, suggesting those in wheelchairs should throw themselves under the trains. |
http://tiny.cc/a1fyg I can't tell you how funny this is in 140 characters or less. Please just read it. |
Esme just made Nick go all the way upstairs to the top bathroom, where she told him to wash. Then she let him come back downstairs again. |
@stephenfry http://twitpic.com/lcxg - I got this for Christmas one year. I've wet the bed ever since. |
