So far, Amy and Andrew Efaw have sent three daughters to West Point, from which they themselves graduated in 1989. Alexandra, the oldest daughter and a recent graduate who was featured in this past weekend’s magazine, was thought to be, by her mother’s admission, “not West Point material.” But that daughter, who goes by “Alix,” instead extended the family connection to the military academy. “Once Alix got in, it became more attainable,” Amy says. “The others thought, ‘Well, if Alix can get in. . . .’ ” Two more Efaw siblings are still in high school — Aimee, who goes by Kat, in eighth grade and Andrew in 10th — and, says Alix, “I could totally see my kids coming to West Point and it kind of repeating itself.”
Here are some of the Efaw family members’ thoughts on life in the corps.
On Choosing West Point:
ALIX (class of 2014): “I wanted a challenge. I wanted to do, you know, not necessarily something that nobody does but something that was different and challenging. Not only mentally, but physically and emotionally as well. And I wanted to follow in my parents’ footsteps in a way.”
ANASTASIA (class of 2016): “When I came here, I was just really nervous about getting in trouble, and my uniform, and everything you think when you think of the military. But that’s kind of the easiest part. I struggle the most with school.”
ARIANNA (class of 2017): “I got into the other service academies but then I realized that I should just probably keep going with the tradition. And I liked the Army’s missions better than the Coast Guard and the Air Force Academy.”
On being a female cadet at West Point:
ALIX: ”You don’t want to be the weak link in the chain. Because they already expect you to be the weak link in the chain. You’re the woman, you’re the female. And you want to be the one to volunteer to carry the heavy machine gun, the extra ammo. But it’s harder for us to do that.
ANASTASIA: “It’s not bad. There are some things that kind of suck. Like, you have to wear a uniform all the time. And you want to look cute, so you’ll do things to look cute, like do your makeup or something. But if you look like you’re trying too hard, then all the other girls are like: ‘Oh, she’s trying too hard. She’s trying to get guys. She’s such a girl.’ . . . You would think the females would bond together and help each other. But it’s kind of cutthroat. Dog-eat-dog world.
ARIANNA: ”If there wasn’t extra pressure, then more women would do it, you know? It’s just part of what we signed up for. . . . I think West Point is a good balance between girly and tough. Like, ‘Don’t mess with me’ girly.”
AMY (class of 1989): “There were cadets that didn’t think we belonged there and there were some that did. We married those. . . . We were competitive and didn’t lean on each other as much. You didn’t want to be associated with females because they brought you down. You needed to be one of the guys. It’s different now. The standards are different because they have to be.”
On sisterhood:
ALIX: ”Everyone has to have her own West Point journey. . . . I didn’t volunteer anything, but if they came to me, I absolutely helped them out. It was nice to have someone to mentor. I went through it by myself.”
ANASTASIA: ”When I get in trouble or I’m scared about something or I’m stressed, I can go to my sisters and cry, because crying when you’re a girl is looked down upon here, because it makes you look weak and like a sissy or something.”
ARIANNA: ”Having two sisters here is not — well, it’s great and everything, but it’s not as great as you think it would be. Sometimes I go to their room and they’re really helpful. . . . But then other times they’re like, ‘Oh, poor baby.’ ”