Honeymoon is a new horror film that employs the classic "do you REALLY know who you married" storyline and takes it to the next (read: supernatural) level. It's about a very cute, very white married couple named Bea and Paul (played by Game of Thrones' Rose Leslie and Penny Dreadful's Harry Treadaway) who go on their—bingo, you guessed it—honeymoon, where things go really fucking terribly wrong. As far as horror movies go, this one's pretty predictable (and not super jumpy), but that doesn't make its climactic scenes any less chilling or bloody difficult to watch. Plus, this is director Leigh Janiak's FIRST movie ever, and that's pretty darn impressive. TOO LONG / DON'T WANNA READ THE REST OF THIS: Go see it, it's fun and spooky, I recommend it.

So anyway, Paul and Bea (WHOSE NAME I KEEP TYPING AS "BAE") are on their cute honeymoon at a cabin in the woods doing cute honeymoon-y things (i.e. mostly having a lot of sex) when they run into Bea's old camp fling, Will, and his ill-looking wife who's all like, "GET OUT OF HERE IT'S NOT SAFE HERE." Obviously because this is a scary movie and no one listens to good advice, they decide to stay and bone instead. BAD CHOICE.

That night, strange things happen, and Paul finds his Bae naked in the woods, supposedly "sleepwalking," or whatever. He's shaken up but she seems okay… Or so he thinks. But *Drake voice* NOTHING WAS THE SAME. (This is a horror movie, remember?) Little by little, pieces of his wife slip away—like she forgets how to make French toast or coffee, and doesn't remember simple English words like "suitcase" (she calls it a "clothes box" looollll). And much to Paul's dismay, she doesn't want to have sex anymore. (I know, I know, a wife who doesn't cook OR sleep with you? A dude's worst nightmare riiiight?)

Anyway, you can probably draw your own conclusions from all that, but here's some sane advice from someone who's seen way too many horror films:

- Never honeymoon in a CABIN IN THE WOODS, are you fucking kidding me.

- Don't trust moths.

- Don't trust ducks either. (SPOILER: Neither the ducks nor moths had actual anything to do with the movie but I just got bad vibes from them.)

- Call the cops.

- No but seriously, do you have good reason to suspect a murder? Call the cops.

- The number is 9-1-1.

- Why don't you have a phone though.

- Run.

- Good luck.

Honeymoon is out September 12 in theaters.